  
 
The idea behind ClubFloyd is that each week at a pre-arranged time, a group of people meet online to cooperatively play a game of interactive fiction. |
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| Nitku arrives, full of fun and funk. | ||||
| DavidW hollers, "We're gonna play Violet on Floyd real soon!" | Jota exclaims, "Quick, someone send a moosegram to Alaska!" | |||
| DavidW asks, "Should we wait a bit more for people to remember, log in, rush to the washroom?" | ||||
| inky says, "yeah, few more minutes, maybe" | ||||
| crumple asks, "what are the channels for this?" | ||||
| inky says, "#clubfloyd, #cf-spoilers" | ||||
| inky says, "er, #cfspoilers" | ||||
| DavidW says, "There's two: ... yes, those." | ||||
| [cfspoilers] * Nitku has joined the channel. | ||||
| DavidW says, "#clubfloyd is for main chat, and should be used instead of talking off-channel." | ||||
| DavidW says, "#cfspoilers is for people who want to comment on the playing without spoiling for the people who are." | * crumple has joined the channel. | |||
| [cfspoilers] * crumple has joined the channel. | ||||
| crumple says, "i think it's cfspoilers." | ||||
| DavidW says, "Talking to Floyd is usually done via the f command, eg: f pull lever" | ||||
| DavidW says, "And there's two buttons here in the toyshop to handle entering spaces and carriage-returns: push space and push return, respectively." | DavidW says, "hm, I'm not seeing a stampede of players entering the toyshop." | |||
| inky says, "yeah, go for it" | ||||
| DavidW says, "yeah, let's start" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "load violet" | ||||
Floyd | Welcome to the Cheap Glk Implementation, library version 0.9.0. Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Calm down. All you have to do is write a thousand words and everything Floyd | will be fine. And you have all day, except it's already noon. | ||||
| DavidW pushes the green 'space' button. | ||||
Floyd | Floyd | Violet Floyd | A Distraction by Jeremy Freese Floyd | Release 3, November 2008 Floyd | (New readers type ABOUT; HINTS available) Floyd | Floyd | You told me you were making progress. Then I find out you haven't Floyd | finished a paragraph in five months. What did you expect? Floyd | Floyd | So now here you are, up in your office. I am sorry that today is a Floyd | Saturday. I am especially sorry that today is your thirtieth birthday. Floyd | We had all kinds of adventures planned. I refuse to feel guilty. Floyd | Floyd | Of course I am still upset. I will try to set that aside and be Floyd | encouraging. I really do want you to succeed today. Floyd | Floyd | Please just write. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky asks, "hmm, how many people haven't played this?" | |||
| DavidW says, "I haven't." | ||||
| Nitku says, "I have played." | ||||
| inky says, "okey doke" | ||||
| K-Y arrives, full of fun, but no funk. | DavidW says, "I understand that I won't be able to see helpful status bar messages." | |||
| Nitku asks (of DavidW), "Are you still one-handed?" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Nitku), "only sorta" | ||||
| DavidW says, "The cast is still on, but I'm using both hands as best as I can." | ||||
| Bishop didn't think Violet was the kind of game you played one-handed, IYKWIM. | ||||
| DavidW says, "It should come off onThursday." | ||||
| Nitku says, "I was thinking if you want to drive. Then again there's so much to poke it probably doesn't matter if there's no designated driver." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "l" | ||||
Floyd | When Wisconsin was recruiting your advisor they promised her space for Floyd | graduate students. You're in a decrepit building but otherwise it's Floyd | not bad. Floyd | Floyd | You've a great big desk in front of a window, a resplendent yellow Floyd | chair, a cabinet in one corner, a giant cactus in another, and a tall Floyd | bookcase on the back wall with an incredibly cute stool in front of it. Floyd | The door is west. Floyd | Floyd | > | Bert says, "Yeah, I think this is a game where anyone can safely jump in." | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "i" | ||||
Floyd | You're carrying nothing. Floyd | Floyd | You've a tattoo on the back of your hand. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x tattoo" | ||||
Floyd | "Tattoo" isn't right. You scrawled "TYVTWD" on the back of your hand Floyd | before leaving this morning. It stands for Take Your Violet To Work Floyd | Day. This is your plan: you are going to get through today by Floyd | pretending I'm here with you. Floyd | Floyd | Just so we're clear: you are actually alone, and presumably I am back Floyd | at our apartment, packing and crying. Floyd | Floyd | Somebody is coming up the stairs. I thought you said no one ever comes Floyd | in on the weekend? Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "ha ha" | |||
| Nitku says (to Floyd), "rub tattoo" | ||||
Floyd | I feel a bit like you are just trying random things as a way of Floyd | procrastinating. Floyd | Floyd | Please. Just WRITE. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "sit on stool" | ||||
Floyd | There is no reason to sit on the stool. Stand on it if you need to Floyd | reach something. (And sit on your comfy yellow chair if you want to Floyd | write.) Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "sit on chair" | ||||
Floyd | Okay. You are seated at your desk and ready to go. Just write! Floyd | Floyd | Two voices in the hallway: a man and Julia. Julia hasn't been in her Floyd | office in weeks. She shows up on a Saturday? Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "write" | ||||
Floyd | Unfortunately, with all the pacing about and ruminating, you've been Floyd | here over two hours but haven't actually opened your word processor Floyd | yet. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x computer" | ||||
Floyd | The desktop PC is old but perfectly fine for writing. In addition to Floyd | your word processor, applications you can OPEN include a browser, chat Floyd | and e-mail. Floyd | Floyd | The computer has a USB port in the front and is connected to the Floyd | Internet with a cable in back. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW asks, "I didn't remember seeing a computer mentioned. I guess I forgot to x desk?" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x desk" | ||||
Floyd | Of course the big oak desk is unusually posh for a graduate student Floyd | office. It belonged to a professor who had a stroke at his computer Floyd | and none of the other faculty wanted a desk on which once rested the Floyd | head of a dead colleague. Floyd | Floyd | On top of the desk are your computer, my itinerary, a framed darling Floyd | and a pile you cannot even contemplate right now. Floyd | Floyd | The desk's drawer is closed. A wastebasket is on the floor to the Floyd | left. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "you're a grad student, of course you have a computer" | |||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "i was going to add playing the comp games as part of the special clubfloyd violet release." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x framed darling" | ||||
Floyd | Why you chose this photo of me, I don't know. It's from a party last Floyd | summer. I've an enormous foam lobster on my head and whipped cream all Floyd | over my right cheek. I'm smiling manically and look like I may be so Floyd | tipsy that I don't know what continent I'm on. Floyd | Floyd | Permit me two moments of immodesty: Floyd | Floyd | 1. Even in a picture where I'm not at my best, I am still clearly Floyd | worth a thousand words. Floyd | Floyd | 2. The frame itself is very cleverly done. Floyd | Floyd | > | Bert says, "I thought grad students were supposed to have cardboard boxes out by the dumpsters behind the lab." | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "open word processor" | ||||
Floyd | Open. Chapter 3 of your dissertation awaits. You can do it! Floyd | Floyd | Julia is here to sabotage you. I'm sure of it. She's in her office Floyd | across the hall now, talking loudly with her door open. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "well, sure, but then they have a laptop" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x door" | ||||
Floyd | (standing up first) Floyd | It's a plain white wooden door. On the other side is distraction and Floyd | ruin. Abandon hope, all ye who exit. Floyd | Floyd | On the wall beside the door is the lightswitch. Above the door is a Floyd | vent. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "I mean, c'mon, they're not *animals*" | |||
| [cfspoilers] Bert says, "I admit I did briefly wonder if there was a response to PLAY VIOLET" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "write" | ||||
Floyd | (first sitting on chair) Floyd | You start trying to focus on the screen and type, but you are very Floyd | tired. I realise that you hardly slept last night between being all Floyd | worked up from our fight and then being banished to the dodgy futon in Floyd | our living room. Floyd | Floyd | Still. I know you won't let a little grogginess stop you. You are Floyd | determined. For us! Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Bert says, "I am not sure what Violet herself would think of that." | K-Y says, "It took me forever to examine the stuff on the desk" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "get determined" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] inky says, "ha ha" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x itinerary" | ||||
Floyd | A printout of an airline receipt for a certain Ms. Violet C., for a Floyd | flight from Madison to Chicago to Los Angeles to Auckland to Melbourne. Floyd | One-way, refundable. Departing early tomorrow morning. Floyd | Floyd | I hate that I've given you an ultimatum. But I don't feel like I've Floyd | any choice. Floyd | Floyd | The dude with Julia sounds like the one she was flirting with at Lucy's Floyd | party. Remember? He was scrawny and said his parents owned a hotel in Floyd | Milwaukee called "The Historic Pfister." Floyd | Floyd | > | K-Y says, "I think 'itinerary' just brought back traumatic memories of that other game" | |||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "it might answer for her what he's spent the past months doing while procrastinating." | inky asks, "the travelling salesman game?" | |||
| K-Y says, "never played that one" | ||||
| Bert says (to inky), "Good point. The animals' cages are *inside* the lab, where it's warm." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "write" | ||||
Floyd | You are trying, I can tell. But each time you begin to think through Floyd | the opening sentence you get this dull cloudy tired pain right behind Floyd | your eyes. Floyd | Floyd | Okay. You want to write. You just need to get yourself more awake Floyd | first. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "hee hee" | |||
| K-Y says, "you know, that other game where you destroy your apartment while locked inside" | ||||
| inky says, "oh yeah" | ||||
| DavidW asks, "I suppose I need coffee or cola here?" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "violet was originally from adelaide instead of melbourne but a couple beta-tests suggested that adelaide might not be as widely known as i'd thought." | DavidW says, "Personally, I'm trying oatmeal and orange juice for the B1." | |||
| [cfspoilers] inky asks, "of course we know what it is -- it's some kind of artificial fruit drink, right?" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x coffee" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "stand" | ||||
Floyd | You stand. Floyd | Floyd | I don't know why I confided in Lucy about our problems. I should have Floyd | known she would tell Julia. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "find coffee" | ||||
Floyd | If you'd wanted coffee, you really ought to have stopped at Java Squid Floyd | on the drive here. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Bert says, "Ha." | DavidW asks, "Is this an office or apartment?" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "w" | ||||
Floyd | You need to write. Your computer is here. Floyd | Floyd | (Besides, your office door is closed. Might I add: for a reason.) Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "ha about adelaide. FIND COFFEE was implemented post-comp." | ||||
| Bert says (to Floyd), "look" | ||||
Floyd | Many graduate students would be jealous of your having a door that you Floyd | can close, high ceilings, and, most glamorous of all, a window. You Floyd | also have a huge desk, a gorgeous yellow chair, a cabinet, an Floyd | admittedly incongruous cactus, a tall bookcase, and an incredibly cute Floyd | stool. Floyd | Floyd | On the desk are your computer, my itinerary, a cleverly framed picture Floyd | and a pile you cannot even contemplate. A wastebasket is on the floor. Floyd | Floyd | You look out the window for a moment, at the wonderfully serene park Floyd | across the street. We could be frolicking right now. We could be Floyd | canoodling in the shrubbery. Please just write. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Lucea arrives, full of funk, but no fun. | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "touch cactus" | ||||
Floyd | Eek! No. Do you remember how last month you spent an entire afternoon Floyd | whinging because you had a splinter? Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "lick cactus" | Lucea says, "bah, sorry I'm late" | |||
Floyd | You're going to have to use a different verb for me to understand what Floyd | you mean. Floyd | Floyd | > | Bert says, "It's an office." | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "hit me" | ||||
Floyd | You engage in a few zesty rounds of abusing yourself, but I don't think Floyd | it really gets you any more awake. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "pinch me" | ||||
Floyd | I didn't understand that sentence. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "rub eyes" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "exercise" | ||||
Floyd | Sorry for being confused, budgie, but you're going to have to use a Floyd | different verb for me to follow you. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "open drawer" | ||||
Floyd | You open the drawer and there's a shiny little key and your notebook. Floyd | Floyd | Although you write on your computer, you still like to keep a pen and Floyd | notebook handy because it sometimes helps to work out more complicated Floyd | sentences in longhand before typing them in. You've several pens in Floyd | your bag. Floyd | Floyd | Hey, wallaroo: where's your bag? Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "find bag" | ||||
Floyd | I didn't understand that sentence. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Lucea says (to floyd), "x bag" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see it here. Where is it? Floyd | Floyd | Ugh. You were so distracted this morning that you left your bag back Floyd | at our apartment. I am a gentle girlfriend and will refrain from Floyd | marvelling at how it's past noon and you are only realising this now. Floyd | Floyd | You cannot go get your bag. You know you are doomed to an afternoon of Floyd | meandering distraction if you leave this office. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x key" | ||||
Floyd | I believe it's the key to the cabinet. Floyd | Floyd | You are distracted by Julia laughing inauthentically and telling Floyd | Historic Pfister "You are so clever." Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] K-Y says, "I also went the whole game with the light off" | ||||
| Lucea says (to floyd), "get bag" | ||||
Floyd | Do not even try to blame me for you forgetting your bag. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take all from drawer" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] K-Y says, "I'm not sure if there was a point to that" | ||||
Floyd | One thing at a time today, dundeecake. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "FIND BAG especially should have been implemented." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take key" | ||||
Floyd | Yours, vegemite. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take notebook" | ||||
Floyd | Yours, lorikeet. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x it" | ||||
Floyd | It's a smallish notebook, about 10x15 centimetres. The cover is Floyd | lenticular. From this angle, it's a drawing of the comic book hero Floyd | Professor Detective telling one of his graduate students, "You carry Floyd | the heaviest of all burdens: POTENTIAL." Floyd | Floyd | Several pages inside the notebook have writing on them. Floyd | Floyd | You're looking out the window again. Today in the park, a laughing Floyd | couple that could have been us toss a frisbee back and forth, and an Floyd | older gentleman is walking his malamute. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Lucea says (to floyd), "read notebook" | ||||
Floyd | The first page with writing has a sentence ending with the word "gaps." Floyd | You've crossed this out and rewritten it with "lacunae" instead. That Floyd | you crossed out and tried "interstices." You crossed that out in Floyd | favour of "interstitial lacunae," but then that has several lines Floyd | through it and a little drawing of me saying "Quit being pretentious." Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] K-Y says, "I think immediately I expected a 'block out all light from passing under the door' puzzle" | inky says, "lorikeet sounds very sweet" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "unlock cabinet with key" | ||||
Floyd | You unlock the cabinet, glancing briefly at the trophy on top as you Floyd | do. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x trophy" | ||||
Floyd | You trained for months and had to run the entire race in the rain. A Floyd | chintzy little medal after all that? You deserve better! So Floyd | afterwards I took the big sign I'd held up for you and spent two days Floyd | folding it into a proper trophy. Floyd | Floyd | > | Lucea says, "aw, the notebook gets better" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "open cabinet" | ||||
Floyd | Last night, near the very end: Floyd | "I want you to have your birthday present regardless." Floyd | "Violet, I'll write the thousand words." Floyd | "I planned a treasure hunt for you. I wrote clues! It was going to Floyd | end in your office." Floyd | "I am going to write tomorrow. I promise." Floyd | "Look in that cabinet you never use. You'll like how I wrapped it." Floyd | Floyd | You open the cabinet, revealing a very odd balloon and a plastic bottle Floyd | filled with a fluorescent pink liquid. Floyd | Floyd | > | Bert says, "Every time I hear Violet call you 'wallaroo', I think of the Seatbelts song 'Ask DNA'." | |||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "i'm looking forward to seeing lorikeets when i go to oz next month." | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "wallaroos, too." | Bert says, "(Although I can never remember the name of it, so I had to look it up before I could say that.)" | |||
| [cfspoilers] inky asks, "have you been there before?" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x balloon" | ||||
Floyd | It's about 25 centimetres across, milky white rubber decorated with Floyd | purple ink swirls. A strange furry thing is inside, its three long Floyd | legs pressing against the sides. At the bottom of the balloon is a Floyd | bright yellow tab on which I've written "Pull me!" Floyd | Floyd | You are distracted by Julia talking about her abs. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "no, this will be my first time. meeting my girlfriend's family, among other things." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x bottle" | ||||
Floyd | The bottle is dusty. Is this even yours, or is it left over from Floyd | Marty? Floyd | Floyd | The label has several large characters of what looks like a cross of Floyd | Chinese, Cyrillic, and cuneiform. Small type beneath says "Divine Floyd | Soda Mega Energy". The label also has a drawing of a devil poking a man Floyd | in the [bother]* with an electrified pitchfork. The man's eyes bulge Floyd | and his mouth rounds into a scream. Floyd | Floyd | The bottle is filled with a fluorescent pink liquid. Floyd | Floyd | You start looking toward the door with an irksome dreaminess. Whatever Floyd | else about Julia, the woman knows how to choose perfume. Of course, Floyd | I'm not sure how much she's poured on herself that you can smell it Floyd | this far away. Floyd | Floyd | (BTW: I've decided I'm just going to "*" whenever I have an aside. Floyd | ASIDE or * and I'll tell you.) Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] inky says, "right on" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Bert asks, "Do they have a comic shop for you?" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] inky says, "I assume there will be a hilarious scene where they drink you under the table" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Lucea says, "heh" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple exclaims, "hee! we'll see!" | DavidW says, "I guess I've found some sort of energy drink." | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x bottle" | ||||
Floyd | The only part of the label in English says "Divine Soda Mega Energy." Floyd | The bottle is filled with a fluorescent pink liquid. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take bottle" | ||||
Floyd | Yours, muttonplum. Floyd | Floyd | You look toward the door: the perfume again. I agree that it's really Floyd | appealing. But, still, this is Julia!* Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "clean it" | ||||
Floyd | I'm sorry if I'm being obtuse, little numbat, but I don't understand Floyd | what that would accomplish. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "aside" | ||||
Floyd | Remember when you first asked me out? I said, "You already have a Floyd | girlfriend." Floyd | "I wouldn't if I had known I was going to meet you." Floyd | "How charming. Will you say the same thing to the woman you dump me Floyd | for?" Floyd | "Julia and I aren't serious. She doesn't even care about me. I'm the Floyd | respectable diversion after the mess with the emeritus history Floyd | professor leaving his wife. The only reason she'd be upset is she's Floyd | proud of her streak where no man has ever broken up with her." Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Lucea says (to floyd), "smell perfume" | ||||
Floyd | It's annoying how smitten you seem to be with Julia's perfume. I'm not Floyd | going to indulge you by describing its appeals in detail. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "open bottle" | ||||
Floyd | It's open. Floyd | Floyd | You're looking out the window again. A blond-haired father and Floyd | even-blonder son are walking into the park from the east, and entering Floyd | your view from the west is a zombie. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "drink liquid" | ||||
Floyd | Holy [bother] is that strong! You feel like your brain is now a giant Floyd | sparkler. You feel invincible. You feel like buying a circus. You Floyd | feel like moving to South America and starting a revolution. Floyd | Floyd | Dissertation? You feel like writing a trilogy. And an opera. You Floyd | feel like fathering roomfuls of monkeys to type randomly until they Floyd | write your dissertation for you. Floyd | Floyd | Whatever else, you're now plenty alert. (I'm e-mailing Marty to find Floyd | out where I can get some of that.) Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "write" | ||||
Floyd | (first sitting on chair) Floyd | Completely, unblinkingly alert, you start thinking again about the Floyd | first sentence. "Previous scholarship has typically conceptualized..." Floyd | Six seconds later you check your e-mail. You switch back to your word Floyd | processor for a bit, but then you start reading some blogs. You check Floyd | your e-mail again. Then back to blogs. Floyd | Floyd | I suspect this is much of how the past several months in your office Floyd | have gone. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "write" | ||||
Floyd | You start again. Except you immediately check your e-mail. Then you Floyd | read some web comics. Then a few of your favourite Professor Detective Floyd | fanblogs. Floyd | Floyd | Please, gumnut. You need to focus. Floyd | Floyd | You are distracted by Julia saying especially loudly "...You could use Floyd | mine to calculate pi..."* Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "american spelling of conceptualized since it is him typing." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "focus" | ||||
Floyd | For me, honestly, it's as simple as that. For you, it's more Floyd | difficult. You are still wonderful. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Lucea says (to floyd), "aside" | ||||
Floyd | Remember the story about how when Julia was in college, she told two Floyd | math guys she'd hook up with whichever one memorised pi to the most Floyd | places? She made them stand on chairs at a party, alternating digits Floyd | until one of them missed. She claims it went on for two hours. Floyd | Floyd | Then she didn't even go home with the winner! Instead there was a Floyd | Russian computer scientist who claimed he could spontaneously generate Floyd | truly random digits. She said, "Prove it!" He said, "Four!" And she Floyd | swooned and pulled him into a bathroom. Floyd | Floyd | I cannot believe she told you that story and you continued dating her. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Nitku says (to Floyd), "scream at julia" | ||||
Floyd | That is what Julia wants. She wants you to engage her. She wants you Floyd | to argue with her because she knows it will get you wound up and then Floyd | you won't be able to concentrate the rest of the day. You must ignore Floyd | her. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says, "I don't even see those asterisks." | |||
| inky says, "ha ha" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "the asterisks are red if the interpreter displays color." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "kiss photo" | ||||
Floyd | You can only do that to something animate. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x frame" | ||||
Floyd | I took the concert flier from our first "date" and made it into a hard Floyd | plastic laminate--you know, like a Shrinky Dink. I made a clear Floyd | plastic sheet the same size to go over the front of the photograph. Floyd | Then I fused a sturdy binder clip to the two pieces to hold everything Floyd | in place. Floyd | Floyd | You are thinking about your bag. Sure, it's unfortunate, but there's Floyd | nothing you can do. So just forget about it. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Lucea asks, "This wasn't a true story, right?" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple asks, "the internet puzzle actually kind of is. otherwise, no. hey, they didn't do the ABOUT?" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] inky says, "the value of the random digit has been changed" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Lucea says, "the pi thing" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x window" | ||||
Floyd | (standing up first) Floyd | Your window is immediately behind your desk, about two metres high and Floyd | one wide. It has an old grey blind, which is raised. Floyd | Floyd | On the sill I am a bit surprised to see a lighter. Floyd | Floyd | You look out the window. The zombie in the park is dressed like an Floyd | investment banker, but you recognise him as a zombie because of the Floyd | pasty skin, blood dripping from his mouth, and lurching gait. He Floyd | pauses to look at his watch. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take lighter" | ||||
Floyd | Yours, sticky pudding. It's hard for me to be enthusiastic about Floyd | lighters as a woman who owns her own blowtorch. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "lower blind" | ||||
Floyd | You pull the cord and nothing happens. You complained to me about this Floyd | weeks ago and I explained what the problem likely was and how to fix Floyd | it. Remember? Floyd | Floyd | You are distracted by Julia going on loudly about how you get a Floyd | discount if you get both tongue piercings at the same time. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x cord" | ||||
Floyd | It's a plain white cord, easily tangled. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "untangle it" | ||||
Floyd | I didn't understand that sentence. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "pull cord" | ||||
Floyd | You pull the cord again and nothing happens. I think you'll have to Floyd | get on your desk and look at the blind to figure out what's wrong. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "stand on stool" | ||||
Floyd | The stool creaks as you climb onto it. Floyd | Floyd | You're looking out the window again. A second zombie enters the park Floyd | from the east, holding a sign. The first zombie looks relieved. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x blind" | ||||
Floyd | (first getting off the stool) Floyd | I wish the blind was more colourful. It's raised. There's a cord. Floyd | Floyd | I don't think you're going to be able to figure out what the problem is Floyd | with the blind from down here. You'll have to get onto the desk. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "KISS PHOTO and UNTANGLE CORD should have been implemented." | ||||
| olethros arrives, full of fun, but no funk. | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x sign" | ||||
Floyd | You know those hipsters-dressed-up-as-zombies, they're always agitating Floyd | about something. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "read sign" | ||||
Floyd | You know those hipsters-dressed-up-as-zombies, they're always agitating Floyd | about something. Floyd | Floyd | You are distracted by Julia talking about her [bother]. I can't Floyd | believe you dated someone so crass. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "stand on desk" | ||||
Floyd | You climb onto your desk. Be careful, fruit cup. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x blind" | ||||
Floyd | You can see what's wrong with the blind now. The little whatever is Floyd | stuck.* This is easy: you can just FIX it. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "aside" | ||||
Floyd | Actual-Me of course knows precisely what the whatever is called. I Floyd | used the right term when I explained the workings of your blind to you Floyd | at length on that napkin at WinkyDog. Imaginary-Me is using "whatever" Floyd | because you don't remember. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] (from Bert) crumple opens the source and starts working on Release 4. | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "fix blind" | ||||
Floyd | You squint at the whatever for awhile and fiddle. Squint, fiddle, Floyd | still stuck. I think when I said you could easily fix it what I really Floyd | meant was that, if I were there, I could easily fix it. Floyd | Floyd | Squint, fiddle, SNAP. You did it! Or, wait, maybe you broke it. Floyd | Floyd | Looking closer, you've definitely broken the whatever. Perhaps you've Floyd | also fixed it. I can't tell. Floyd | Floyd | Your eyes go all dreamy again as the latest waft of Julia's perfume Floyd | induces another galling little reverie. Ugh. You have to snap out of Floyd | this. Floyd | Floyd | > | olethros says, "damn I am late" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x blind" | ||||
Floyd | The blind is raised. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "hee. just keeping a list for now." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "pull cord" | ||||
Floyd | You pull the cord and the blind lowers halfway, then stops. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "g" | ||||
Floyd | You raise the blind. Floyd | Floyd | You're looking out the window again. The sign held by the zombie says Floyd | "Zombies Was People Too". Another pair of people dressed up as zombies Floyd | enter the park. One holds a sign saying "Undead and Proud!" Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Lucea says (to floyd), "pull blind" | ||||
Floyd | (presuming you want to pull the cord) Floyd | You pull the cord and the blind lowers halfway again. That's all the Floyd | lower it's going now that you've broken the whatever. Ugh. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "stand" | ||||
Floyd | I'm confused. You're presently standing on the floor of your office. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Lucea says, "hmm. I was thinking you could physically pull the blinds down. and then maybe put something heavy on them to hold them down" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x whatever" | ||||
Floyd | It's broken now. Floyd | Floyd | You are distracted by Julia saying especially loudly, "Impressive, huh? Floyd | When I was in high school my guidance counsellor recommended that I Floyd | become a contortionist." Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] olethros says, "IIRC you dont pull the blinds down all the way" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take whatever" | ||||
Floyd | That seems to be a part of the blind. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] olethros says, "but they could break if you try that" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "write" | ||||
Floyd | (first sitting on chair) Floyd | (getting off the desk first) Floyd | You look at the blank screen for a few moments and then check your Floyd | e-mail. You hit refresh just in case someone has e-mailed in the last Floyd | four seconds. Now you are looking at procrastination self-help Floyd | websites. I am trying to remain calm. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "write" | ||||
Floyd | No pretence, even: you start checking e-mail immediately. Now you are Floyd | watching some random online food safety videos. We need to face the Floyd | fact that you must somehow force yourself to be offline before you'll Floyd | get any writing accomplished. Floyd | Floyd | You are thinking about your bag again. "Why am I always so forgetful?" Floyd | you say aloud. "Why am always I so disorganized?" Lorikeet, dwelling Floyd | on it won't help. "I know!" you exclaim. "Why do I always dwell on Floyd | everything?" Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x modem" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x computer" | ||||
Floyd | The PC is old but fine. Applications include a word processor, Floyd | browser, chat, and e-mail. Floyd | Floyd | The computer has a USB port in the front and is connected to the Floyd | Internet with a cable in back. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "yeah, i had PULL DOWN BLIND suggested in beta but wasn't sure how exactly to implement it." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "unplug cable" | ||||
Floyd | You unplug the ethernet cable. Good! It has to be easier to write if Floyd | you can't chat, check e-mail, and surf the web whenever you want. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "write" | ||||
Floyd | You resume thinking about the first sentence. You fidget. Your hands Floyd | tremble a bit. You want to check your e-mail. You want to read blogs. Floyd | And then: you retrieve the cable and plug it back into the computer. Floyd | Floyd | Ugh. I didn't know it was this bad, spongemuffin. I don't know what Floyd | to say. Floyd | Floyd | You are distracted by Julia saying especially loudly, "It's not so much Floyd | that I'm double jointed as just very determined." Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] olethros says, "make a new verb" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] olethros says, "or FORCE BLIND DOWN" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "unplug cable" | ||||
Floyd | Done, weet-bix. You're now holding the ethernet cable. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "open window" | ||||
Floyd | (standing up first) Floyd | For a graduate student like yourself, having an office with a window Floyd | and a great view is almost too much to hope for. A window that Floyd | actually opens is, in fact, too much to hope for. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| olethros says (to Floyd), "break window" | ||||
Floyd | It's hard for me to see what purpose breaking your window would serve. Floyd | More importantly, someone would almost certainly see and call campus Floyd | security, and that will introduce new hassles to your afternoon and Floyd | prevent you from getting any writing done. Floyd | Floyd | You're looking out the window again. There are maybe a dozen zombies Floyd | in the park now, lurching and milling about. Two unfurl a Floyd | blood-spattered banner that says, "What do we want? Brains! When do Floyd | we want them? Brains!" Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Lucea says (to floyd), "eat cable" | ||||
Floyd | I'm confused. That's not something you can eat. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| olethros says (to Floyd), "chew cable" | ||||
Floyd | Please do not squander your afternoon indiscriminately gnawing at Floyd | things around your office. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| olethros says (to Floyd), "cut cable with teeth" | ||||
Floyd | I only understood you as far as wanting to cut the blue ethernet cable. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| olethros says (to Floyd), "step on cable" | ||||
Floyd | You're going to have to use a different verb for me to understand what Floyd | you mean. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| olethros says (to Floyd), "x it" | ||||
Floyd | I don't know why they've used a 50 foot ethernet cable when it's less Floyd | than three feet from your computer to the jack. Much of the cable is Floyd | dirty from all the dust and whatever else has collected underneath your Floyd | desk. Floyd | Floyd | You are distracted by Julia saying especially loudly, "Sure, she's Floyd | cute. If you can get past the mole." Floyd | Floyd | Hey! Watch it, Julia. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| olethros says (to Floyd), "x connector" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW asks, "Can we lock it in the cabinet and toss the key?" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put cable in wastebasket" | ||||
Floyd | You put the blue ethernet cable into the wastebasket. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "write" | ||||
Floyd | (first sitting on chair) Floyd | You try again. Two minutes later you take the cable and plug it back Floyd | into the computer. You start idly googlestalking friends from primary Floyd | school. Floyd | Floyd | Okay. We are not going to to be able to work out your "internet Floyd | addiction" issues today, lemon squidgie. We need to figure out a way Floyd | forward anyway. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take cable" | ||||
Floyd | Done, berry smush. You're now holding the ethernet cable. Floyd | Floyd | Meanwhile, it has become officially disconcerting just how much you're Floyd | distracted by Julia's strumpy perfume. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "ah. davidw is quick." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "unplug it" | ||||
Floyd | The cable is not plugged in to the computer. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take balloon" | ||||
Floyd | (standing up first) Floyd | Yours, pollywaffle. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "look in cabinet'" | ||||
Floyd | On the cabinet's top is a spectacularly intricate origami trophy. Floyd | Floyd | You're looking out the window again. The zombie march has attracted Floyd | counter-protesters. One of them is an older man in overalls who is Floyd | holding an American flag in one hand and a sign saying "These colors Floyd | don't lurch" in the other. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| olethros says (to Floyd), "open cabinet" | ||||
Floyd | That's already open. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put cable in it" | ||||
Floyd | You put the blue ethernet cable into the cabinet. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "close it" | ||||
Floyd | That's not something you can close. Floyd | Floyd | You are distracted by Julia saying "She makes things that look like Floyd | summer camp crafts and tries to convince people they're art." Floyd | Floyd | I wonder if I'd get away with it if I killed her right before my flight Floyd | leaves tomorrow morning. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "close cabinet" | ||||
Floyd | You close the cabinet. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "lock cabinet with key" | ||||
Floyd | You lock the cabinet. Clever little wallaroo. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Lucea says (to floyd), "x it" | ||||
Floyd | It's University Drab, about a metre high with a silly fake wood front. Floyd | It's closed and locked. Floyd | Floyd | On top of the cabinet is the opposite of drab: a stupendously intricate Floyd | origami trophy. Floyd | Floyd | You are thinking about your bag again. Honestly, you probably don't Floyd | even really need a pen, except now you're obsessing about how you'd Floyd | have a pen if only you hadn't forgotten your bag. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple asks, "why didn't CLOSE IT work?" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put key in vent" | ||||
Floyd | Why would you think you can reach the vent from here? Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] olethros says, "it thought you meant the cable" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "stand on stool" | ||||
Floyd | The stool creaks again as you climb onto it. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] olethros says, "(it was the last direct object)" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put key in vent" | ||||
Floyd | Why would you think you can reach the vent from here? Floyd | Floyd | You are distracted by Julia loudly saying "I bet when they first hooked Floyd | up, she was like, 'Would you like to see my didgeridoo?'" (That has to Floyd | be the most gallingly inept fake Australian accent I have ever heard. Floyd | She sounds like a Norwegian parakeet.) Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x vent" | ||||
Floyd | (first getting off the stool) Floyd | It's an ordinary vent with a metal grill. Floyd | Floyd | A purplish bit of something is under the right bottom corner of the Floyd | vent. You can't see what it is from down here. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "purplish" | ||||
Floyd | You're going to have to use a different verb for me to understand what Floyd | you mean. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x purplish" | ||||
Floyd | You can't really make out what the purplish bit is from down here. Floyd | You'd need to move something over to the door that you can stand on. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "move stool to door" | ||||
Floyd | The stool is now by the door. Floyd | Floyd | You're looking out the window again. A wood-panelled van pulls up on Floyd | the street in front of the park. "Wood-panelled" doesn't perhaps Floyd | describe it right, as it's more like someone put wood veneer around the Floyd | entire frame of the van, to make it look like a ship or something. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "stand on stool" | ||||
Floyd | The stool creaks once again as you climb onto it. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x purplish" | ||||
Floyd | It's some thread. But, like I said, nutter butter, it's stuck in the Floyd | corner of the vent above you. If you want to get a good look at it, Floyd | take it first. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take it" | ||||
Floyd | Yours, cuttlefish. Floyd | Floyd | You are distracted by Julia laughing and mock-shrieking "Or maybe, Floyd | 'Touch my kiwi! Touch my kiwi!'" Ugh. How can someone almost have Floyd | her Ph.D. and not know that kiwis are New Zealand, not Australia? Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x thread" | ||||
Floyd | It's perhaps ten centimetres long. I adore lilac! I've a jumper this Floyd | colour (I mean, a sweater--such a quirky word.) Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x vent" | ||||
Floyd | The vent has a square metal grill. You try to look into the vent but Floyd | it's dark and you are still maybe 30 centimetres or more below it. You Floyd | won't be able to see into the vent from here. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "this ends up being a red herring. i cut about 10-15% from violet for timing reasons, including more with this." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "open vent" | ||||
Floyd | I'm sure one day you'll have an office with a window you can open and a Floyd | vent you can close. But not while you're a graduate student. Floyd | Floyd | You have another incredibly annoying swoony moment because of Julia's Floyd | perfume. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "but the vent had to stay because it figures in the ending." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put key in vent" | ||||
Floyd | Unfortunately, the key doesn't quite fit between the bars of the grill Floyd | in front of the vent. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x grill" | ||||
Floyd | It's just a metal grid. It's not the kind you can open or close. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Lucea says (to floyd), "break grill" | ||||
Floyd | You are trying to break random things as a way of procrastinating. Floyd | Floyd | You're looking out the window again. The back door of the van opens Floyd | and ten pirates storm out of the back, swords raised. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "stand" | ||||
Floyd | You are already on the stool. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "eat key" | ||||
Floyd | It looks so easy in movies! You put it in your mouth and will Floyd | yourself to swallow hard. But when the key is at the top of your Floyd | throat, some primordial terror reflex kicks in and you cough the key Floyd | back into your hand. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "l" | ||||
Floyd | Bear in mind that, meanwhile, I'm using the walk-in closet of our Floyd | apartment as a "studio." Floyd | Floyd | You've a quite large desk in front of a window, a resplendent yellow Floyd | chair, a cabinet in one corner, an absurdly large cactus in another, Floyd | and a tall bookcase on the back wall with an incredibly cute stool. Floyd | The door is west. Floyd | Floyd | On the desk are your computer, my itinerary, a cleverly framed picture Floyd | and a pile you cannot even contemplate. A miraculously intricate Floyd | origami trophy sits on top of the cabinet. A wastebasket is on the Floyd | floor. Floyd | Floyd | You are distracted by Julia saying especially loudly, "You've been Floyd | working out. I've noticed." Floyd | Floyd | Oh no. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x bookcase" | ||||
Floyd | (first getting off the stool) Floyd | Two weeks ago: Floyd | "Violet. Take this. Do not give it back to me for a month." Floyd | "Is this your car key?" Floyd | "Just the trunk. The boot. I put all the books from my office in Floyd | there." Floyd | "You said you just needed to read one more book and then you were ready Floyd | to write." Floyd | "And you pointed out that I've said that several times before. You're Floyd | right. I've read enough. I just need to get what's in my head onto Floyd | the computer." Floyd | Floyd | Of course I'm so used to seeing your bookcase full that it's strange Floyd | now to see it nearly empty. Floyd | Floyd | On the second shelf is a book. On the bottom shelf is a smartly-done Floyd | snowglobe. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "i'm not sure what to make more obvious that the pile is something one needs to examine." | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "that is, what to do that clues that better." | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Bert says, "I think in my case, I took a while to examine the pile because at the start, Violet was discouraging me from examining everything in the room." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "look behind bookcase" | ||||
Floyd | Nothing. I'm not sure what you were expecting. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Bert says, "I don't know about anyone else." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put key behind it" | ||||
Floyd | The bookcase is bolted firmly to the wall. Floyd | Floyd | Your attention wanders as you start admonishing yourself again for Floyd | forgetting your bag. Oh, sweateroo. Your gaze upward in Floyd | self-loathing, whereupon you are suddenly distracted by something odd Floyd | about the sprinkler in the corner above the cactus. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Lucea says (to floyd), "x sprinkler" | ||||
Floyd | Remember? Last October: Floyd | "Hey, wallaroo, why is there a pen between the sprinkler and the Floyd | ceiling?" Floyd | "It's been there since I moved in." Floyd | "How could somebody even wedge a pen up in there like that?" Floyd | "It's even more mysterious considering that the previous occupant of Floyd | this office was a dwarf." Floyd | "Marty! He was hilarious! Remember the prank with the disappearing ink Floyd | toner cartridge?" Floyd | "That was mostly you, dear. All Marty did was slip it in Julia's Floyd | printer before her big presentation." Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple exclaims, "look under desk! under desk!" | DavidW says, "oh dear" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x book" | ||||
Floyd | This is the latest "last book you really must read before you are able Floyd | to write your dissertation without a nagging feeling that there is one Floyd | more book you really must read." If you start reading it now, hours Floyd | will go by, and you won't write your thousand words. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x snowglobe" | ||||
Floyd | It's a glass globe with a plain wooden bottom. Inside is a happy Floyd | winter scene, with a paunchy, smiling figurine in a white outfit and Floyd | snow up to his ankles. His hands look like they are covered with Floyd | chocolate. Floyd | Floyd | (BTW: you know full well that Marty is not a dwarf. He isn't even Floyd | especially short.*) Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x sprinkler" | ||||
Floyd | The sprinkler looks pretty ordinary. What's not ordinary is the pen Floyd | that is wedged at an angle between the nozzle and the ceiling. Floyd | Floyd | You are distracted by Julia squealing, "Wait, it's your birthday, too? Floyd | Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x pen" | ||||
Floyd | It's a bright lavender tube, like the brand of gel-ink pen that Marty Floyd | used to use. There are some scratchings on the side that look like Floyd | letters, but from here you cannot read what it says. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Lucea says (to floyd), "aside" | ||||
Floyd | It's interesting how your mind consistently malforms men who have Floyd | crushes on me. Colin has three tiny birthmarks on his cheek and you Floyd | call him "Splotchy Boy." Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "move stool to sprinkler" | ||||
Floyd | If you want to move the charming stool, possible places are to the DESK Floyd | (where the chair is), to the DOOR (where the stool is), to the CORNER Floyd | by the cactus, or to the BOOKCASE. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "move stool to corner" | ||||
Floyd | The stool is now as close to the corner as it can get, considering that Floyd | the pot and cactus are in the way. Because the floor here is uneven Floyd | and the stool is flimsy, it's extremely wobbly. Please do not try to Floyd | stand on it. Floyd | Floyd | You're looking out the window again. A pirate with a sword attacks a Floyd | zombie who protects himself with surprising agility for the recently Floyd | reanimated. Another pirate affixes a mast to the top of the van. Floyd | Still another hunches beside the van sticking a fake wooden leg over Floyd | his real leg. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Lucea says, "I think I need to stop entering commands, actually. I missed if there was a designated driver" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x pot" | ||||
Floyd | The pot is big and looks like pewter. We've both been baffled at how Floyd | heavy it is. I wonder if the business school professor had the cactus Floyd | specially repotted before he left just to make it more expensive for Floyd | Madison to dispose of. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "push pot" | ||||
Floyd | The pot is incredibly heavy and you cannot move it anywhere. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "i think they said it was anyone jump in." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "stand on stool" | ||||
Floyd | I wish you wouldn't, but, you climb on to the stool. You start Floyd | reaching up to the sprinkler but then you begin to lose your balance Floyd | and the stool tips over beneath you and you fall, hitting your head on Floyd | the edge of the pot. You are out cold. Floyd | Floyd | It's sad to think that perhaps our relationship would have been saved Floyd | if only you'd kept ample office supplies on hand. Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | *** Our relationship is over *** Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | We don't have to end this way. You can UNDO the last turn. You can Floyd | also RESTART or RESTORE a saved game. If you'd rather finish breaking Floyd | my heart, then by all means, QUIT. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "undo" | ||||
Floyd | Time travel makes me twitchy. Floyd | Floyd | [Previous turn undone.] Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says, "heh" | |||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "i couldn't figure out how to display different messages each time you undo except to have them selected randomly (that is, couldn't do in order)" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Lucea asks, "no [cycling]?" | DavidW says, "I don't seem to be making much progress yet." | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x creature" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Bert clears the save counter. | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x balloon" | ||||
Floyd | It's about 25 centimetres across, milky white rubber decorated with Floyd | purple ink swirls. A strange furry thing is inside, its three long Floyd | legs pressing against the sides. At the bottom of the balloon is a Floyd | bright yellow tab on which I've written "Pull me!" Floyd | Floyd | You are distracted by a startled grunt from Historic Pfister. I do not Floyd | believe this is happening. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Bert says (to Floyd), "SAVE" | ||||
| Bert says (to Floyd), "cf1" | ||||
Floyd | Enter saved game to store: Ok. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "no, because it undoes the counter." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "pull yellow tab" | ||||
Floyd | You pull the tab and the balloon deflates with a pop and whoosh. You Floyd | hear me shout "Happy birthday!" and zestily toot a kazoo. Floyd | Floyd | What's left is a white rubber square with a message written on it. You Floyd | are also holding the three-legged furry thing, which you now realise is Floyd | an electronic device. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Lucea says, "hm" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "re: save. it's impossible to get violet in an unwinnable state (to my knowledge), other than ending the game." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x square" | ||||
Floyd | It's about 10 centimetres square and has a message handwritten in Floyd | purple on it. One corner is a double piece stitched over so that it is Floyd | like a tiny pouch. Floyd | Floyd | In the "pouch" is a small chip. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] olethros says, "you guys managed to lose!" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "read it" | ||||
Floyd | You stretch the rubber square so that you can read what I've written: Floyd | Floyd | Happy birthday! I know you wanted a boring ordinary music player, but Floyd | I got my brother to send the latest piece of consumer electronics Floyd | GENIUS from the kangaroo corridor. Floyd | Floyd | Behold: the platyPod! Why three headphones? The middle one attaches Floyd | by suction to your forehead for complete hands-free and display-free Floyd | control. Not to mention kick-[bother] extra bass. Why is it furry? Floyd | Don't ask me: Melbourne is in the throes of an epic fake-fur fad I Floyd | don't understand. But this is going to be a HUGE hit, and not just Floyd | among the armless blind. Floyd | Floyd | Charge it with your computer. Then SCRUNCH YOUR BROW to turn it on. Floyd | I've already put some bonus presents on it. Floyd | Floyd | You are my FAVOURITE! Floyd | Violet Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Bert says, "Yeah, but last year, there were some 'terp problems that magically appeared just in time for Floyd to keep crashing while playing the Comp winner." | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Bert says, "So I figured better superstitious than sorry." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x device" | ||||
Floyd | It looks like a set of over-the-head headphones, except there is a Floyd | third one and it's covered with short, brown fur. There's a little Floyd | plug that allows it to connect to the USB port of a computer. Tiny Floyd | letters on the plug say "platyPod." Floyd | Floyd | Julia's stupid perfume again. Remember when she was all excited to Floyd | meet Lucy's brother after she heard he was a pheromone scientist? Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "plug playpod to port" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "plug in platypod" | ||||
Floyd | I only understood you as far as wanting to plug the inside. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "plug platypod in port" | ||||
Floyd | You plug in the platyPod. It will beep when it is fully charged. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x chip" | ||||
Floyd | You can't get a good look at the chip while it's still in the pouch. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "i never thought of PLUG PLATYPOD TO PORT." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take chip" | ||||
Floyd | Yours, chunky rabbit. Floyd | Floyd | (The rubber is really strong and stretchy for how thin it is, isn't it? Floyd | I got it from a company that makes weapons-grade slingshots.) Floyd | Floyd | You're looking out the window again. The zombies and pirates stop and Floyd | point toward the sky to the west. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Jacqueline arrives, ready to play with the toys. | Jacqueline says, "Sorry I'm late... just got in from a trip." | |||
| DavidW says, "hi, Jacqueline" | ||||
| maga arrives, ready to play with the toys. | olethros asks, "did you pardon any turkeys?" | |||
| DavidW says, "That slingshot hint sounds like the square is the way to get the pen." | ||||
| DavidW says, "hi maga" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x chip" | ||||
Floyd | It's like one of those chips in a musical greeting card, with a tiny Floyd | plum-coloured "V." painted on it. When you squeeze it you hear me Floyd | shout "Happy birthday!" and then a cheery kazoo toot. Floyd | Floyd | BEEP-BEEP-BEEP! The platyPod is fully charged. You retrieve it and Floyd | return to what you were doing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put chip in platypod" | ||||
Floyd | It's just a customised version of one of those chips that are in Floyd | musical greeting cards. You don't have to worry about trying to find Floyd | something to put it into. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "see, davidw gets the slingshot clue. someone on rock paper shotgun said that puzzle was impossible." | ||||
| [cfspoilers] olethros says, "yes I remember the clue as well" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "squeeze chip" | ||||
Floyd | You hear me shouting "Happy birthday!" followed by a cheery kazoo toot. Floyd | Floyd | You are distracted by Historic Pfister making noises perhaps best Floyd | characterised as mewling. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] maga says, "davidw is kind of l33t as puzzles go" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "wear platypod" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Jacqueline says (to maga), "'Kind of?'" | ||||
Floyd | The platyPod fits nicely in your ears and against your forehead. It is Floyd | switched off. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "turn it on" | ||||
Floyd | There's no switch of any kind of the platyPod. It's completely Floyd | hands-free! (That is, once it's on your head.) Floyd | Floyd | The rubber square has instructions for how to turn on the platyPod. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] K-Y says, "I distinctly remembered cue #1 when cue #2 popped up" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "i don't know these strange combinations of letters and numbers hip people use." | ||||
| [cfspoilers] olethros says, "I was somewhat stymied about what was the object i was supposed to throw at it though" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "scrunch brow" | ||||
Floyd | My voice: "Look, it even lets you record a start-up message! How the Floyd | platyPod works: You cycle through the different playlists by RAISING Floyd | your left or right eyebrow. NOD to skip to the next track. JIGGLE Floyd | your head clockwise to turn the volume up, and jiggle it anticlockwise Floyd | to turn it down." Floyd | Floyd | The platyPod turns on. A mechanical Aussie voice announces, "Now Floyd | playing 'MC Dingo: Straight Outta Down Under'" You groan, because you Floyd | are like every other parochial American who refuses to give Australian Floyd | hip-hop a proper chance. Floyd | Floyd | The volume is low. You can still sometimes hear Julia and Historic Floyd | Pfister across the hall. Floyd | Floyd | You tug your hair anguishedly and say out loud, "The pen is emblematic Floyd | of what a [bother]-up I am." Please, chocolate crackle. It's just a Floyd | pen. Don't start down one of your spirals about it. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] K-Y says, "but I blanked on the syntax" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Bert says, "YM 'h1p'. HTH." | Jacqueline asks, "No such hands-free device exists, right?" | |||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "the syntax was hard for that. it accepts anything anyone in beta tried, i think." | Jacqueline asks, "Even without the silly name?" | |||
| Lucea says, "I'm not sure how it'd pick up raising an eyebrow" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "raise right eyebrow" | ||||
Floyd | A mechanical Aussie voice announces, "Now playing Professor Detective: Floyd | The Novel." Floyd | Floyd | > | olethros says, "I don't see how it could not" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "nod" | ||||
Floyd | Professor Detective explains to Undergraduate Constable Duffy that a Floyd | murderer who escapes justice will invariably kill again, and the same Floyd | logic applies to plagiarists. Floyd | Floyd | > | Jacqueline says (to Lucea), "Well, and it would all be complicated by the fact that not very many people (I would suppose) can raise one eyebrow independent of the other." | |||
| Lucea asks, "what of people who can't raise only one?" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "nod" | ||||
Floyd | Professor Detective is doing a crossword during a faculty meeting when Floyd | suddenly the lights go out and a woman screams. Floyd | Floyd | > | Lucea says, "Timing." | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "nod" | ||||
Floyd | The Confounder has Professor Detective tied up in his secret hideout Floyd | next to the cyclotron. The Confounder cackles and taunts, "Let's see Floyd | if tenure will save you now." Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW asks, "What were we supposed to be writing again?" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "nod" | ||||
Floyd | Professor Detective follows a shadowy figure into one of the steam Floyd | tunnels underneath the engineering building. Floyd | Floyd | > | olethros says, "I think that a device with programmable grimacing would be quite practical" | |||
| olethros says (to davidw), "just stuff" | ||||
| Lucea says, "Dissertation." | ||||
| olethros asks, "thesis?" | ||||
| maga says, "I think a lot of people want to see a Professor Detective game" | ||||
| Lucea says, "er, iirc" | ||||
| Jacqueline says (to DW), "Man, you're really getting into the game!" | ||||
| olethros asks, "detects your profession?" | ||||
| DavidW says (to maga), "I think so too" | ||||
| Jacqueline says, "You're as distracted as the PC." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "nod" | ||||
Floyd | Professor Detective understands that every second counts when you are Floyd | trying to foil a plot to destroy the world, but these are his office Floyd | hours. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "nod\" | ||||
Floyd | You're going to have to use a different verb for me to understand what Floyd | you mean. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "nod" | ||||
Floyd | Professor Detective sighs and clarifies to Undergraduate Constable Floyd | Duffy that, no, what he is explaining about the muddy footprint will Floyd | not be on the test. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says, "ha ha" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "raise right eyebrow" | ||||
Floyd | A mechanical Oz voice announces, "Now playing Primrose Meanwell." She's Floyd | the friend from uni I was telling you about. Absolutely the shyest Floyd | person--then last week I get an e-mail announcing she's recorded an Floyd | album! Floyd | Floyd | You are distracted by Julia saying, "Wait, if today is the 24th, and Floyd | you are 24, that makes this your golden birthday." Well, then. Floyd | Floyd | > | Jacqueline says, "heehee" | |||
| Lucea says, "I would absolutely listen to this, by the way." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "nod" | ||||
Floyd | Primrose sings about how she likes to write in her journal. Floyd | Floyd | > | Jacqueline steps away to take a much-needed post-travel relaxing and headache-reducing bath. | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "nod" | ||||
Floyd | Primrose sings about how she has a special purple pen that she uses Floyd | when she writes about boys. I'm not sure I've ever heard a lead singer Floyd | whose voice is so inconspicuous. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "raise right eyebrow" | ||||
Floyd | A mechanical Oz voice announces, "Now playing Warren Tim Harried: Floyd | Greatest Hits" (Hooray! Our favourite!) Floyd | Floyd | You're looking out the window again. Holy [bother]. Somebody built a Floyd | dirigible for this. The outside appears to be covered in aluminium Floyd | foil, so it's good it just missed the power lines as it descends into Floyd | the park. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "nod" | ||||
Floyd | Warren Tim Harried is playing "Please Don't (My Grandma Gave Me That)" Floyd | from Runt with an Accordion, recorded when he was fourteen years old. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "jiggle head clockwise" | ||||
Floyd | You move your head in cute little clockwise circles. The volume is now Floyd | so loud that you cannot hear Julia and Historic Pfister at all. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "load square" | ||||
Floyd | You're going to have to use a different verb for me to understand what Floyd | you mean. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "i" | ||||
Floyd | You're carrying a small chip, a rubber square, a bit of lilac thread, a Floyd | lighter, an empty plastic bottle, a notebook and a shiny little key, Floyd | and you're wearing the platyPod. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing "Someday They'll Go Too Far," which became a hit on Floyd | local pirate radio stations after being discovered by school Floyd | authorities and played on the evening news. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "shoot key at pen" | ||||
Floyd | Hmm. While I didn't have this in mind when I made it, the rubber Floyd | square could be used like a slingshot if you put a suitable object in Floyd | the little pouch. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put key in square" | ||||
Floyd | That isn't a container, spicy biscuit. Unless I'm misunderstanding Floyd | what you are trying to do. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put key in pouch" | ||||
Floyd | As strong and stretchy as the rubber is, you basically have a slingshot Floyd | now that something is in the pouch. You could SHOOT SOMETHING. If I'm Floyd | going to patent this, I should think about whether this unanticipated Floyd | functionality exposes me to any legal risk. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing "No Normal Boy Would Write That Song," recorded Floyd | during a weekend furlough from a private psychiatric facility for Floyd | troubled adolescent boys. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW shoots the harmful Gene Ray at pen, whose lips turn into bulbous green sacs of air. | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "it should understand PUT X IN SQUARE as PUT X IN POUCH." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "shoot pen" | ||||
Floyd | The key isn't going to work. It gets half-stuck coming out of the Floyd | pouch and then just flutters to the floor. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take pen" | ||||
Floyd | You can't reach it. The sprinkler is more than three metres off the Floyd | floor. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take key" | ||||
Floyd | Yours, banana squizzle. Floyd | Floyd | You have got to get over Julia's perfume. I am being indulgent with Floyd | you here. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put chip in pouch" | ||||
Floyd | You put the small chip into the rubber square's "pouch". Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "shoot pen" | ||||
Floyd | The chip isn't really a good shape for this. It flies in a odd arc and Floyd | misses several feet to the right. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take chip" | ||||
Floyd | Yours, toaster strudel. Floyd | Floyd | You're looking out the window again. The zombies and pirates have Floyd | regained their composure and are lurching and marauding (respectively) Floyd | toward the landed aircraft. The hatch at the bottom opens with strange Floyd | green smoke billowing out. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put lighter in pouch" | ||||
Floyd | The lighter is a bit too long to fit in the pouch. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "i" | ||||
Floyd | You're carrying a small chip, a shiny little key, a rubber square, a Floyd | bit of lilac thread, a lighter, an empty plastic bottle and a notebook, Floyd | and you're wearing the platyPod. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x bottle" | ||||
Floyd | The only part of the label in English says "Divine Soda Mega Energy." Floyd | The bottle is empty. Floyd | Floyd | You look up at the ceiling. "Colin wouldn't have forgotten his bag." Floyd | you say ruefully. "Colin would never be without a pen." Please, Floyd | mintchip. This is not a helpful line of thinking. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take quill" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take thorn" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x cactus" | ||||
Floyd | Supposedly the cactus belonged to a business school professor who left Floyd | Madison for another university in a snit. An accidental transposition Floyd | of numbers on a form caused it to be moved in here instead of Floyd | University Botanical Disposal, and your department won't pay to move it Floyd | again so it's been here for years. Floyd | Floyd | Obtrusive, sure, but at least it hides that ugly pipe leading up to the Floyd | sprinkler on your wall. Plus plants are cheery. I'm glad the pot is Floyd | too heavy for you to be able to move it yourself. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x pipe" | ||||
Floyd | The garish chrome pipe was obviously added sometime after the building Floyd | was built, in response to some amendment to the fire code. It is flush Floyd | against the wall and runs all the way up to a sprinkler that is only a Floyd | few inches from the ceiling. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x tag" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "l" | ||||
Floyd | There was a professor at uni in Melbourne who was sacked for living in Floyd | an office smaller than this. He had a few kangaroos loose in the top Floyd | paddock, as my mum would say. Floyd | Floyd | You've a big desk in front of a window, a gorgeous yellow chair, a Floyd | cabinet in one corner, a giant cactus in another, and a tall bookcase Floyd | on the back wall with an incredibly cute stool. The door is west. Floyd | Floyd | On the desk are your computer, my itinerary, a cleverly framed picture Floyd | and a pile you cannot even contemplate. A fabulously intricate origami Floyd | trophy sits on top of the cabinet. The bookcase contains a book and a Floyd | smartly-done snowglobe. A wastebasket is on the floor. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing "My Lonesome Pain is Not A Polka" from We Paid You Floyd | For Happy, the artistic breakthrough composed while he supported Floyd | himself with gigs at family reunions and retirement centres. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "look in wastebasket" | ||||
Floyd | It's the standard issue University Dreary--sullen cousin of University Floyd | Drab--metal wastebasket. Floyd | Floyd | A wad of gum is stuck to the wastebasket's rim. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take gum" | ||||
Floyd | You pull the gum off the wastebasket's rim. Ick. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "roll gum" | ||||
Floyd | You're going to have to use a different verb for me to understand what Floyd | you mean. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put gum in pouch" | ||||
Floyd | You put the piece of Two Bob Slobber bubble gum into the rubber Floyd | square's "pouch". Floyd | Floyd | You're looking out the window again. Two aliens step through the Floyd | hatch, green skin and giant foreheads. Eight other aliens jump out of Floyd | the bushes and start attacking the pirates and zombies with these Floyd | silver sticks that have a chartreuse coil wrapped around them. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "shoot pen" | ||||
Floyd | The gum is maybe not quite dense enough to work. It flies in a looping Floyd | arc and hits the ceiling several inches from the sprinkler without much Floyd | velocity. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take gum" | ||||
Floyd | Yours, crunchie. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "look under desk" | ||||
Floyd | Underneath your desk you see the amethyst-encrusted Sword Of Floyd | Dissertator Melancholia. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing from Drumsticks, the bootleg album recorded during a Floyd | performance at a family fried chicken restaurant. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x sword" | ||||
Floyd | Wallaroo. I was just kidding about there being a hitherto unnoticed Floyd | "Sword Of Dissertator Melancholia" under your desk. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x sword" | ||||
Floyd | Don't belabour the joke. There is no sword here. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says, "haha" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "xyzzy" | ||||
Floyd | That time on the sixth floor of the library: Floyd | "Violet, that was-- that was--" Floyd | "Magical?" Floyd | "How did you do that?" Floyd | "Any sufficiently awesome girlfriend is indistinguishable from magic." Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says, "very nice" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "move wastebasket" | ||||
Floyd | Moving the wastebasket around your office isn't going to accomplish Floyd | anything, cheese nip. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing "You With the Notepad," the stunning and entirely Floyd | improvised final track done without once breaking eye contact with a Floyd | woman later identified as Francine Kinkle, music editor for a local Floyd | college newspaper. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "disassemble frame" | ||||
Floyd | You're going to have to use a different verb for me to understand what Floyd | you mean. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x frame" | ||||
Floyd | As I said, I took the concert flier from our first "date" and made it Floyd | into a hard plastic laminate--you know, like a Shrinky Dink. I made a Floyd | clear plastic sheet the same size to go over the front of the Floyd | photograph. Then I fused a sturdy binder clip to the two pieces to Floyd | hold everything in place. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x clip" | ||||
Floyd | I've fused the binder clip to the rest of the frame. You can't do Floyd | anything to it without breaking the frame, which, it goes without Floyd | saying, has considerable sentimental value for us both. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "DISASSEMBLE FRAME, never thought of that for BREAK." | ||||
| [cfspoilers] inky says, "well, he doesn't want to break it" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "look in trophy" | ||||
Floyd | It's exactly the same shape as the trophy they give to the winner of Floyd | Sydney's Marathon. Bright fuchsia lines curl in and out of the folds. Floyd | Floyd | I am going to be so angry if you're hiding a story about Julia doing Floyd | some kind of Pavlovian conditioning experiments on you with the perfume Floyd | when the two of you dated.* Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Lucea says (to floyd), "aside" | ||||
Floyd | Don't even try to act like that's implausible. Julia is so twisted. Floyd | This is the woman who once asked if she could put on an album of Floyd | recorded 911 calls while the two of you were intimate. (And you Floyd | continued dating her afterwards! Unbelievable!) Floyd | Floyd | > | Lucea asks, "Julia listens to Lisa Germano?" | |||
| olethros says, "oh btw" | ||||
| olethros says (to Floyd), "who is julia" | ||||
Floyd | Oh, you know. You know intimately. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "unfold trophy" | ||||
Floyd | You take the trophy I made for you and methodically unfold it. I Floyd | cannot decide whether to be exasperated or moved by how you are so Floyd | careful not to tear it. You're now holding a crumply sign, about a Floyd | metre square. Floyd | Floyd | Ugh. I was so excited to give you that trophy. I realise you are Floyd | desperate because you don't want me to leave. You can do this. I am Floyd | cheering for you. Floyd | Floyd | > | olethros says, "hee" | |||
| inky says, "ha ha" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x sign" | ||||
Floyd | It's all crumply now. The bright fuchsia letters say: Floyd | Floyd | You are my Floyd | FAVOURITE! Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "cover window with sign" | ||||
Floyd | (putting the crumply sign on the sill) Floyd | You put the sign on the sill. The sign and the blind together now Floyd | block the view out your window entirely. Floyd | Floyd | > | olethros asks, "did we get the message about being sleepy yet?" | |||
| inky says, "we got over being sleepy already" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "yay! one of the four major puzzles down." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "throw rubber at pen" | ||||
Floyd | It's too flappy. It ends up just fluttering to the floor. Floyd | Floyd | You look up at the ceiling again. "Colin finished his Ph.D. Colin has Floyd | a job at Yale." Colin is not germane to your current predicament. Floyd | It's just a pen. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take rubber" | ||||
Floyd | Yours, teacake. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x floor" | ||||
Floyd | It's drab and would look much better if we found a rug that matched the Floyd | chair. (I'm not sure why I am so preoccupied with your office decor Floyd | when what I want is for you to finish so we can get out of Madison.) Floyd | Floyd | The floor slopes alarmingly downward over in the corner by the cactus, Floyd | like that whole part of the room may be about to collapse. Floyd | Floyd | On your floor is a wastebasket. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "teacake was precious blueberry teacake and then i decided that was too much." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x walls" | ||||
Floyd | Remember how Marty hung a couple of his paintings when this was his Floyd | office? I wish you'd put up at least a couple posters. Your walls are Floyd | so dreary and bare. Not anything to worry about today, of course. Floyd | Floyd | The lightswitch is on the wall by the door. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x lightswitch" | ||||
Floyd | It's just an ordinary lightswitch. The light is on. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing the title track from Francine. (Actually, all 37 Floyd | songs on the album are officially titled "Francine.") Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x light" | ||||
Floyd | It's a long, unadorned fluorescent bulb, like there is in all the other Floyd | graduate student offices in the building. I am so glad I bought the Floyd | happy light for my studio. There is no way I would get work done Floyd | during the winter in Madison without it. I'm so glad it's finally Floyd | spring. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x chair" | ||||
Floyd | It was just some dreary old office chair that they dragged up from the Floyd | basement for you, but then I came up one weekend with this amazing Floyd | yellow veloury-pleatherish fabric and upholstered it. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x fabric" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "search chair" | ||||
Floyd | There is nothing on your yellow chair. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "i didn't realize X LIGHT had two sentences starting with 'I'm so glad' in it. ugh." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take snowglobe" | ||||
Floyd | Yours, marshmallow twimble. I still can't believe I stayed up two Floyd | nights straight making it. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing the song unofficially titled "Parking Garage," Floyd | following the convention of identifying tracks on Francine by the Floyd | location of the tryst the liner notes say inspired them. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x it" | ||||
Floyd | It's a glass globe with a plain wooden bottom. Inside is a happy Floyd | winter scene, with a paunchy, smiling figurine in a white outfit and Floyd | snow up to his ankles. His hands look like they are covered with Floyd | chocolate. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple exclaims, "shake the snowglobe! shake it!" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "break it" | ||||
Floyd | But, you said you thought it was brilliant. Why would you want to Floyd | break it? Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "break it" | ||||
Floyd | But, you said you thought it was brilliant. Why would you want to Floyd | break it? Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x base" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "turn over snowglobe" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "see, this maybe i should change and let him break it." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "shake it" | ||||
Floyd | You shake the globe vigorously. The snow starts swirling around the Floyd | globe, turning pink and then red. Floyd | Floyd | Remember? Watching television at midnight: Floyd | "The Saskatoon Strangler. He killed six people before being arrested Floyd | by the mounties in 1986." Floyd | "A documentary about a serial killer at bedtime?" Floyd | "Only six people, Violet. Plus, he worked as a confectioner!" Floyd | "If I can't sleep, you can't complain about the noise when I start Floyd | working on something." Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing "Booth Seven at Steak'n'Shake," the track on Francine Floyd | that got him tour dates opening for ironic death metal icon Jimmy Floyd | Catkicker. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] inky says, "I think so" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "yeah, i think that's better than making the person find the tater tot first." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x snowglobe" | ||||
Floyd | The snow is now a blood red blizzard roiling around the figurine in the Floyd | middle, whose eyes now gleam sinister and whose hands now look like Floyd | they are covered in blood instead of chocolate. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "shake snowglobe" | ||||
Floyd | The snow becomes a beautiful blood red. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put snowglobe in pouch" | ||||
Floyd | The snowglobe is too big to fit in the pouch. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "i didn't realize the tater tot was going to not be immediately found by people." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x bottom shelf" | ||||
Floyd | You see nothing special about the bottom shelf. Floyd | Floyd | You're distracted by Julia's perfume again. I'm sure she sprayed on a Floyd | second gallon this morning just to sidetrack you. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x top shelf" | ||||
Floyd | You see nothing special about the top shelf. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x middle shelf" | ||||
Floyd | You see nothing special about the middle shelf. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x book" | ||||
Floyd | Sure, the book looks like something you'd find interesting. I'm not Floyd | going to describe its contents any further, though, as I don't want to Floyd | risk enticing you to start reading it. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "open book" | ||||
Floyd | I can see why the book is relevant to your dissertation, but it isn't Floyd | what you are building it up in your mind as being. And you know that Floyd | you don't really need to read it in order to start writing. Floyd | Floyd | You look once more to the ceiling. "Colin is never without office Floyd | supplies. Colin never mispronounces 'Aussie' like it rhymes with Floyd | 'bossy'." Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x eraser" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x paper clip" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x pile" | ||||
Floyd | It's detritus from teaching, a couple unfinished side projects, and the Floyd | earlier dissertation topic that you asked We Never Speak Of Again. Floyd | It's been accumulating and now makes you feel too overwhelmed even to Floyd | contemplate. Floyd | Floyd | Except today, when you absolutely must write, you are feeling an Floyd | overwhelming urge to tidy it. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "search pile" | ||||
Floyd | What you really feel compelled to do with the pile is tidy it. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "tidy pile" | ||||
Floyd | You pick up one thing, then put it back down. You pick up another then Floyd | put that down. You start thinking that what you really need is Floyd | comprehensive office-straightening solution. You're thinking about Floyd | making a diagram, maybe a spreadsheet. Floyd | Floyd | STOP. This is not what you should be doing today. Floyd | Floyd | Out of the pile, however, you do pick up a potato gem. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x gem" | ||||
Floyd | (I always forget they aren't called potato gems here. Just like I can Floyd | never remember that it's "cotton candy" instead of "fairy floss.") Floyd | Floyd | I think you brought tater tots for your lunch a fortnight ago. I hope Floyd | it's not older than that. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing from his follow-up album to Francine, which was also Floyd | titled Francine. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put gem in pouch" | ||||
Floyd | You put the tater tot into the rubber square's "pouch". Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "shoot pen" | ||||
Floyd | You're a very good shot. I guess you were serious about that spooky Floyd | bowhunting uncle. The tater tot misses the pen by less than half an Floyd | inch and hits the wall, where it shatters. Floyd | Floyd | I think you've the right idea, though. One more shot and I bet you'll Floyd | hit it. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x gem" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "see, now he can break the globe, but he might be misled into thinking he can't." | DavidW asks, "waa. We need more ammo?" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "tidy pile" | ||||
Floyd | After the earlier try, you've realised that tidying the mess is not a Floyd | good use of your time today. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x desk" | ||||
Floyd | It's an enviable desk, even if someone did die on it. On top are your Floyd | computer, my itinerary, a cleverly framed picture and a pile you cannot Floyd | even contemplate. Floyd | Floyd | The desk's drawer is empty. A wastebasket is on the floor to the left. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing excerpts from "Why?," originally an eighty-three Floyd | minute song in which he stops playing once to cry and twice to leave Floyd | voicemails for Francine. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "yeah, uh, there's a thing you can do now you couldn't do before" | |||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "watching a live play of one's game is even more interesting than reading a beta transcript." | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Lucea says, "maybe a daemon-message type thing? (yeah, I7 doesn't have daemons, I still call them that)" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] inky says, "yeah, the time makes a difference" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "write" | ||||
Floyd | (first sitting on chair) Floyd | Within three minutes you've taken the cable out of the cabinet and are Floyd | watching a video of a dog dressed as a ballerina. Oh, plucky wombat. Floyd | If you can't be disciplined, then you'll have to be clever. Floyd | Floyd | You do unplug the cable again and lock it back in the cabinet. Now, Floyd | what to do with the key? Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "undo" | ||||
Floyd | I'm doing jazz hands right now. Floyd | Floyd | [Previous turn undone.] Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple asks, "what's a daemon message?" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Lucea says, "It's like the every-turn rules, or the "at the time _____ happens" rules, kind of" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put key in pouch" | ||||
Floyd | You put the shiny little key into the rubber square's "pouch". Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "shoot pen" | ||||
Floyd | The key isn't going to work. It gets half-stuck coming out of the Floyd | pouch and then just flutters to the floor. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take key" | ||||
Floyd | Yours, plucky wombat. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put gum in pouch" | ||||
Floyd | You put the piece of Two Bob Slobber bubble gum into the rubber Floyd | square's "pouch". Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing "It's Because He Plays Guitar, Isn't it?" Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Lucea says, "so maybe "you get a clue about really wanting to break things all of a sudden five turns from now" except maybe not so obvious." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "shoot pen" | ||||
Floyd | The gum is maybe not quite dense enough to work. It flies in a looping Floyd | arc and hits the ceiling several inches from the sprinkler without much Floyd | velocity. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take gum" | ||||
Floyd | Yours, honeytoast. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put gum on key" | ||||
Floyd | Clever, wonkabar. Unfortunately, the gum's not that sticky. You'd Floyd | just peel it off again. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "chew gum" | ||||
Floyd | When I made you try it before, you said that it tastes sort of like Floyd | American bubble gum, only if one added soy sauce, pieces of pickled Floyd | meat, and a bit of blood. Floyd | Floyd | And add to that now a strong mildew taste. Yuck. You gag and spit the Floyd | gum back out. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put gum on key" | ||||
Floyd | Unfortunately, the gum's not that sticky. You'd just peel it off Floyd | again. Floyd | Floyd | Don't think you can stealthy-sniff and I won't notice. You need to get Floyd | over that perfume. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put gum in nose" | ||||
Floyd | You wouldn't be able to concentrate with the mildewy meat-gum smell. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "close nose" | ||||
Floyd | That might block out Julia's maddening perfume for a few moments, but Floyd | you can't hold your nose all afternoon. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "break frame" | ||||
Floyd | You try to break the frame gently. I fused the binder clip well, Floyd | however, so you end up having to pull and twist to get it apart. When Floyd | you do, the front and back each break into several pieces, and so what Floyd | is now on the desk along with the binder clip and photograph are some Floyd | pitiful little plastic shards. Floyd | Floyd | Obviously I won't be able to repair it. Floyd | Floyd | I loved that frame. I'm not sure what you are expecting me to say. Floyd | Hooray? Floyd | Floyd | Remember when I handed you the itinerary last night? Your response: Floyd | "So I have tomorrow. What do I need to do?" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take clip" | ||||
Floyd | Floyd | "Please," I told you, "I don't want yet another promise." Floyd | "I will write tomorrow. I will write every day until it is done." Floyd | "You won't. You'll have reasons, excuses. Maybe more lies. I can't Floyd | believe you've been lying--" Floyd | "Violet, I will write one thousand words tomorrow. I will bring the Floyd | pages to you as proof. I will do this every day." Floyd | | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put clip in pouch" | ||||
Floyd | Then I covered my face with my hands because otherwise I wouldn't have Floyd | been able to say it: Floyd | "You won't. I know you believe that you will. But you won't actually Floyd | do it." Floyd | "Of course I will, Violet. I have to." Floyd | "And yet you won't. That's how we're stuck. I can't keep waiting and Floyd | pretending. Every day? Budgie, you won't even do it tomorrow." Floyd | "I will. One thousand words. Nothing will stop me." Floyd | Floyd | I need for you to write today. I wish you could just sit and type. I Floyd | realise you can't. Of course it hurts to watch you destroy things I Floyd | spent days making for you. But do whatever you must. I don't want to Floyd | leave you. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "yay! second puzzle almost done. (except, it's not clear it's a cutscene, is it?)" | ||||
| K-Y pushes the green 'space' button. | ||||
Floyd | Just because you are imagining me doesn't mean I'm a mindreader. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put clip in pouch" | ||||
Floyd | You need to be holding the binder clip before you can put it into Floyd | something else. Floyd | Floyd | You start doing your Colin imitation. "Why, Violet, as I was reading Floyd | the proofs of my second book last night, I started thinking about that Floyd | boyfriend of yours. How is he? Still fussing about not having a pen?" Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take clip" | ||||
Floyd | Yours, jellysquish. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put clip in pouch" | ||||
Floyd | You put the binder clip into the rubber square's "pouch". Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put clip on nose" | ||||
Floyd | (first taking the binder clip) Floyd | You've put the binder clip on your nose. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x frame" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "smell" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > Floyd | You can't smell anything now that you've a binder clip on your nose, so Floyd | you're liberated from Julia's perfume ruining your concentration. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "write" | ||||
Floyd | (first sitting on chair) Floyd | Within three minutes you've taken the cable out of the cabinet and are Floyd | watching a video of a dog dressed as a ballerina. Oh, chutney. If you Floyd | can't be disciplined, then you'll have to be clever. Floyd | Floyd | You do unplug the cable again and lock it back in the cabinet. Now, Floyd | what to do with the key? Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "undo" | ||||
Floyd | Careful! You know how you get nosebleeds. Floyd | Floyd | [Previous turn undone.] Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| vimes arrives, ready to play with the toys. | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "SAVE" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "cf2" | ||||
Floyd | Enter saved game to store: Ok. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x photo" | ||||
Floyd | I've already described the photograph of me with the giant foam lobster Floyd | on my head. I am definitely worth a thousand words. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing from Listen, one of the few known albums in which a Floyd | single artist plays guitar and accordion simultaneously. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "l" | ||||
Floyd | I'm surprised you don't have any pictures from home up, but I can be Floyd | especially sentimental since home for me involves crossing both the Floyd | equator and International Date Line. Floyd | Floyd | You've a great big desk in front of a window, a resplendent yellow Floyd | chair, a cabinet in one corner, a giant cactus in another, and a tall Floyd | bookcase on the back wall with an incredibly cute stool. The door is Floyd | west. Floyd | Floyd | On the desk are some pitiful little plastic shards, a photograph, your Floyd | computer, my itinerary and a pile you cannot even contemplate. The Floyd | bookcase holds a book. A wastebasket is on the floor. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x shards" | ||||
Floyd | The red and black plastic shards were once part of a frame I lovingly Floyd | made for you, and before that they were part of a poster from the Floyd | concert we attended on our first date. Now they are useless. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put gum on shards" | ||||
Floyd | Putting things on the pitiful little plastic shards would achieve Floyd | nothing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put gum on thread" | ||||
Floyd | Putting things on the bit of lilac thread would achieve nothing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "tie thread to key" | ||||
Floyd | In Melbourne we had to be able to tie ten different kinds of knots in Floyd | order to graduate from secondary school. I'm not sure what would be Floyd | accomplished by trying to tie the thread to the shiny little key, Floyd | though. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing "Can Jimmy Do This?," which one music critic called Floyd | "the most ambitious guitar solo ever by someone who had been playing Floyd | the instrument for less than a week." Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x itinerary" | ||||
Floyd | A printout of an airline receipt for a certain Ms. Violet C., for a Floyd | flight from Madison to Chicago to Los Angeles to Auckland to Melbourne. Floyd | One-way, refundable. Departing early tomorrow morning. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "read it" | ||||
Floyd | A printout of an airline receipt for a certain Ms. Violet C., for a Floyd | flight from Madison to Chicago to Los Angeles to Auckland to Melbourne. Floyd | One-way, refundable. Departing early tomorrow morning. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "read notebook" | ||||
Floyd | This page has two drawings of your advisor. On the left she looks Floyd | enthusiastic; on the right, worried and disappointed. The speech Floyd | balloon on the left says "Think big! I've never had a student with so Floyd | much potential!" The balloon on the right says, "THE BEST DISSERTATION Floyd | IS A DONE DISSERTATION." Floyd | Floyd | Your advisor is nutty anyway. I'm still angry about the time she made Floyd | you catsit. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "violet's last name is crumple, btw. violet crumble is an australian candy bar." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put key under door" | ||||
Floyd | You slide the key under the door. It feels good to be rid of it. Floyd | Floyd | A few moments later you hear a noise and look down to see the key Floyd | skidding back under your door. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take key" | ||||
Floyd | Yours, rockmelon. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing "An Inch Too Tall" from Not Exactly Fair To Them, Floyd | recorded during the extended tour that followed Listen. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "break key" | ||||
Floyd | It's a spunky little key. You can't break it. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW asks, "Am I the only one playing?" | |||
| [cfspoilers] McMartin says, "It's not restricted to Australia by any means. I see it here in the States all the time." | Lucea says, "entering in commands, yeah" | |||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "it's the shatter that matters." | Lucea says, "I don't know if that's how it was in the beginning; I showed up late" | |||
| DavidW asks, "any ideas what the 2nd ammo might be? Or how to ditch the key?" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x pile" | ||||
Floyd | The pile is such a reminder of the problems you've had being scattered Floyd | that you cannot even contemplate it without feeling defeated. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Lucea says (to floyd), "contemplate pile" | ||||
Floyd | You can't without becoming a puddle. This is what I'm saying. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x computer" | ||||
Floyd | The PC is old but fine. Applications include a word processor, Floyd | browser, chat, and e-mail. Floyd | Floyd | Your computer is disconnected from the Internet. Floyd | Floyd | > | Lucea says, "heh, that does work" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "move bookcase" | ||||
Floyd | It's bolted to the wall. Floyd | Floyd | You look up. "Colin would never--" ENOUGH. Colin has no relevance to Floyd | this whatsoever. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "he never opened any of the applications on the computer. alas." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x desk" | ||||
Floyd | It's an excellent desk, even if someone did keel over on it. On top Floyd | are some pitiful little plastic shards, a photograph, your computer, my Floyd | itinerary and a pile you cannot even contemplate. Floyd | Floyd | The desk's drawer is empty. A wastebasket is on the floor to the left. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take drawer" | ||||
Floyd | That seems to be a part of your desk. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x knob" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x mouse" | ||||
Floyd | Frankly, chutney, you're in so much trouble if you break your computer Floyd | that I'm not sure I want you mucking about with the peripherals. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW asks, "so much for using the mouseball at ammo, eh?" | |||
| [cfspoilers] vimes asks, "Did you indeed add some comp games?" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Lucea says, "wait. Comp games are offline." | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Lucea says, "The protagonist is doomed." | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "no, i was tempted, but things like the ngah angah would have had hard syntax." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x tot" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "search shards" | ||||
Floyd | The red and black plastic shards were once part of a frame I lovingly Floyd | made for you, and before that they were part of a poster from the Floyd | concert we attended on our first date. Now they are useless. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "i had ideas for a julia-related lucuburator joke." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take shards" | ||||
Floyd | Yours, marble munch. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing "Hedge Clippers" from This Is What You Drove Me To, Floyd | Mrs. Kinkle-Catkicker. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "lick gum" | ||||
Floyd | You're going to have to use a different verb for me to understand what Floyd | you mean. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "chew gum" | ||||
Floyd | No way are you putting that back in your mouth. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x gum" | ||||
Floyd | It's a slightly wet pink blob with little specks of brown. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "squeeze gum" | ||||
Floyd | You achieve nothing by this. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "davidw keeps trying to lick things." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put gum on key" | ||||
Floyd | Unfortunately, the gum's not that sticky. You'd just peel it off Floyd | again. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "i" | ||||
Floyd | You're carrying some pitiful little plastic shards, a shiny little key, Floyd | a pink sticky blob of bubble gum, a deftly-crafted snowglobe, a rubber Floyd | square, a small chip, a bit of lilac thread, a lighter, an empty Floyd | plastic bottle and a notebook, and you're wearing the platyPod. Floyd | Floyd | You also have a binder clip on your nose. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing "Bagel Slicer," in which his playing is spirited but Floyd | clearly far below his usual skills. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "i think he's forgotten about the stool." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "open snowglobe" | ||||
Floyd | Of course you can't open the snowglobe. I sealed it with industrial Floyd | glue. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple exclaims, "break it! break it!" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put gum on chip" | ||||
Floyd | Putting things on the small chip would achieve nothing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "ugh. that was definitely a design failure on my part." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x platypod" | ||||
Floyd | Presumably it looks like a three-legged space creature is attacking Floyd | your head. Comfy, though. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x lighter" | ||||
Floyd | The lighter is promoting some race car driver whose car is #67. Our Floyd | Number. Floyd | Floyd | I was tipsy at a party and you were one of four random dudes trying to Floyd | talk to me at once. I interrupted to tell my favourite joke. "Why is Floyd | six afraid of seven?" Floyd | "Because seven eight--" Floyd | "No!" I shouted, "Because seven [the sickest thing I could come up with Floyd | at the moment] nine." Floyd | Floyd | The other men chuckled uncomfortably. You laughed so hard you spit Floyd | Guinness on my face. That was when I decided I liked you. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "open lighter" | ||||
Floyd | That's not something you can open. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing "Teeth," in which obviously substandard musicianship Floyd | is accompanied by complaints about the difficulty playing with only one Floyd | finger. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says, "hm. The only reason I can see the lighter used for is to start a fire to make the sprinkler turn on." | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "pull pot" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what the purpose of doing that would be. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "push pot" | ||||
Floyd | The pot is incredibly heavy and you cannot move it anywhere. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "dig pot" | ||||
Floyd | This is perhaps not the best day to evince a new interest in gardening. Floyd | Floyd | > | vimes says, "#tangent >POL POT" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x cabinet" | ||||
Floyd | It's University Drab, about a metre high with a silly fake wood front. Floyd | It's closed and locked. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x front" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "open door" | ||||
Floyd | You are going to open the door while your ex-girlfriend is hooking up Floyd | with someone right across the hall? And then what? Do you really Floyd | think that whatever happens is going to be something where you'll be Floyd | able to write afterwards? You need to stay here and focus. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "turn off light" | ||||
Floyd | Done. The room is much dimmer, with most of the light coming from the Floyd | computer. Floyd | Floyd | You pause for a moment. Your shoulders slump. You say "Colin--," then Floyd | stop. You're thinking about the pen again, aren't you? Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "l" | ||||
Floyd | Here in your office, you have a huge desk, a gorgeous yellow chair, a Floyd | cabinet, a giant cactus, a tall bookcase, and an incredibly cute stool. Floyd | Floyd | On the desk are a photograph, your computer, my itinerary and a pile Floyd | you cannot even contemplate. The bookcase contains a book. A Floyd | wastebasket is on the floor. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple exclaims, "stool! stool!" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "turn on light" | ||||
Floyd | Fine. That's better than having the light only coming from the Floyd | computer. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "stand on bookcase" | ||||
Floyd | This is how office furniture at Wisconsin works: the bookcase is bolted Floyd | to the wall, and yet the shelves are so rickety that I'm sure if you Floyd | try to climb the bookcase, one of them will collapse and you'll sprain Floyd | something. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple exclaims, "he's so close! stool! stool!" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "move stool to bookcase" | ||||
Floyd | The stool is now back in its intended location by the bookcase. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "stand on stool" | ||||
Floyd | The stool creaks once again as you climb onto it. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing "So I Lied (Pathetic, I Know)," from the compilation Floyd | of songs he mailed to his manager at erratic intervals from different Floyd | locations in the rural West. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x bookcase" | ||||
Floyd | I think it was smart of you to take away your books, although of course Floyd | now the bookcase does look dreary. Floyd | Floyd | On the second shelf is a book. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x whatever" | ||||
Floyd | (first getting off the stool) Floyd | It's broken now. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x blind" | ||||
Floyd | As I've already said, I wish the blind was more colourful. I also wish Floyd | it wasn't stuck halfway down the window. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x sill" | ||||
Floyd | The sill is behind and slightly below the desk. It's painted white. Floyd | Floyd | On the sill is a crumply sign. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple wills davidw to get back on the stool. | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "roll gum" | ||||
Floyd | You're going to have to use a different verb for me to understand what Floyd | you mean. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "mold gum" | ||||
Floyd | You're going to have to use a different verb for me to understand what Floyd | you mean. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "reshape gum" | ||||
Floyd | You're going to have to use a different verb for me to understand what Floyd | you mean. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says, "any ideas? I'm kinda floundering." | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "search pipe" | ||||
Floyd | The garish chrome pipe was obviously added sometime after the building Floyd | was built, in response to some amendment to the fire code. It is flush Floyd | against the wall and runs all the way up to a sprinkler that is only a Floyd | few inches from the ceiling. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing "Your Cult Sounds Pretty Cool," his last known Floyd | recording. Floyd | Floyd | > | vimes asks, "What's the current distraction?" | |||
| DavidW says, "The pen, I guess." | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple exclaims, "no! it's the internet!" | DavidW says, "I shot at it with the potato gem, but the gem shattered and I need something else." | |||
| DavidW says, "I also need to ditch the key." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "open window" | ||||
Floyd | For a graduate student like yourself, having an office with a window Floyd | and a great view is almost too much to hope for. A window that Floyd | actually opens is, in fact, too much to hope for. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "keyhole" | ||||
Floyd | You're going to have to use a different verb for me to understand what Floyd | you mean. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x keyhole" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Nitku asks, "Is there a command that would tell what the current distraction is?" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "eat key" | ||||
Floyd | Not to suggest you're wimpy, but I could swallow that key if I had to. Floyd | I don't know if you are too squeamish or what. You gag wildly and Floyd | cough up the key almost immediately. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put gum on key" | ||||
Floyd | Unfortunately, the gum's not that sticky. You'd just peel it off Floyd | again. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "WRITE" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] vimes says, "'write'" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "eat key" | ||||
Floyd | It's not going to work, sticky pudding. You are lucky you didn't vomit Floyd | the last time. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Nitku says, "Ah of course." | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "it's also on the status line, but that doesn't carry over to Floyd." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "open gum" | ||||
Floyd | That's not something you can open. Floyd | Floyd | Warren Tim Harried is playing "Please Don't (My Grandma Gave Me That)" Floyd | from Runt with an Accordion, recorded when he was fourteen years old. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x wastebasket" | ||||
Floyd | It's the standard issue University Dreary metal wastebasket. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "look in it" | ||||
Floyd | It's the standard issue University Dreary metal wastebasket. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "look under desk" | ||||
Floyd | Underneath your desk is a portal to an enchanted realm about to be Floyd | destroyed by an evil sorcerer who can only by stopped by you--you, the Floyd | lost prince, possessor of hitherto untapped wizarding powers that are Floyd | your sacred birthright. Floyd | Floyd | Plus, if you succeed, a team of faerie elves will write your Floyd | dissertation for you. Floyd | Floyd | > | vimes says, "ha ha" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x realm" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x portal" | ||||
Floyd | I wish there really was a portal. Faerie elves rock. Floyd | Floyd | Okay. You should go back to trying to write. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says, "best. desk. evar." | |||
| DavidW asks (of inky), "What's the thing I can do now that I couldn't before?" | ||||
| vimes says, "no argument there. My desk sucks. (The portal to the realm from my office was the otherwise-worthless closet.)" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "originally there were four things under the desk. but that got a little much." | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "break the snowglobe." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "move stool to door" | ||||
Floyd | The stool is now by the door. Floyd | Floyd | You pause and look wallowy. You slouch. It's just a pen. Please. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "stand on stool" | ||||
Floyd | The stool creaks once again as you climb onto it. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x vent" | ||||
Floyd | The vent has a square metal grill. You try to look into the vent but Floyd | it's dark and you are still maybe 30 centimetres or more below it. You Floyd | won't be able to see into the vent from here. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "light lighter" | ||||
Floyd | The lighter ultimately doesn't work well, just flickering enough that Floyd | you can maybe BURN something. (Burning things! Yay!) You wouldn't be Floyd | able to use it as a source of illumination. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "burn cactus" | ||||
Floyd | (first getting off the stool) Floyd | When my brother did his year abroad in the US, it was at a place called Floyd | the Burning Cactus ranch. Did I ever tell you that? I guess I Floyd | must've. Anyway, it would be fabulous to set the cactus on fire, but Floyd | you don't seem to be able to manage it with the lighter. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "burn snowglobe" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see how you'd be able to burn that. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing "Someday They'll Go Too Far," which became a hit on Floyd | local pirate radio stations after being discovered by school Floyd | authorities and played on the evening news. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x stool" | ||||
Floyd | Remember? Me, looking triumphant as I haul the flimsy stool into our Floyd | apartment: Floyd | "Look what I found in the dumpster! Just what you need!" Floyd | "Do you think it will collapse if I stand on it?" Floyd | "Not immediately. Just be careful." Floyd | "I can't believe the secretary said I was 'undeserving' when I asked if Floyd | I could have a stool." Floyd | "This stool is better, anyway. Maybe I'll paint it!" Floyd | Floyd | > | Jacqueline says, "hahaha portal... I never saw that. This game has so many tiny bits that give me joy." | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "look under desk" | ||||
Floyd | OK. I'm done with this. There's actually nothing under your desk. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "look under desk" | ||||
Floyd | There's nothing under your desk. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x finneal" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple asks, "what's a finneal?" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x photo" | ||||
Floyd | I've already described the photograph of me with the giant foam lobster Floyd | on my head. I am definitely worth a thousand words. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "turn photo over" | ||||
Floyd | I understand neither what you are wanting to do nor why. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing "No Normal Boy Would Write That Song," recorded Floyd | during a weekend furlough from a private psychiatric facility for Floyd | troubled adolescent boys. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x plastic" | ||||
Floyd | The red and black plastic shards were once part of a frame I lovingly Floyd | made for you, and before that they were part of a poster from the Floyd | concert we attended on our first date. Now they are useless. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x laminate" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x dissertation" | ||||
Floyd | You've made some really handsome margin and font choices already for Floyd | your dissertation, wallaroo. Now all you need is text. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Lucea says, "http://www.denninger.com/whatisf.htm" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x me" | ||||
Floyd | You look tired, which is understandable given the length of our Floyd | "discussion" last night. Floyd | Floyd | You're carrying some pitiful little plastic shards, a shiny little key, Floyd | a pink sticky blob of bubble gum, a deftly-crafted snowglobe, a rubber Floyd | square, a small chip, a bit of lilac thread, a lighter, an empty Floyd | plastic bottle and a notebook, and you're wearing the platyPod. Floyd | Floyd | You also have a binder clip on your nose. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put key in bottle" | ||||
Floyd | I'm not sure what that would accomplish. If you put the key in the Floyd | bottle, you'll just be able to get it back out again. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "burn bottle" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see how you'd be able to burn that. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing "My Lonesome Pain is Not A Polka" from We Paid You Floyd | For Happy, the artistic breakthrough composed while he supported Floyd | himself with gigs at family reunions and retirement centres. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "i don't know why X ME doesn't provide the inventory more commonly." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "melt bottle" | ||||
Floyd | You're going to have to use a different verb for me to understand what Floyd | you mean. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "burn gum" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see how you'd be able to burn that. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "i wish he'd turn the channel to MC Dingo." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x notebook" | ||||
Floyd | It's a smallish notebook, about 10x15 centimetres. As you're holding Floyd | it now, the cover features Professor Detective telling Undergraduate Floyd | Constable Duffy, "In both my vocations, intelligence means little Floyd | without DISCIPLINE." Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple exclaims, "read notebook! read notebook!" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "discipline me" | ||||
Floyd | You're going to have to use a different verb for me to understand what Floyd | you mean. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "read notebook" | ||||
Floyd | On the top half of this page are a few beginnings of sentences, all Floyd | crossed out. On the bottom you've written: Floyd | Floyd | lazy lazy Floyd | lazy lazy lazy Floyd | lazy lazy Floyd | lazy lazy lazy Floyd | lazy lazy Floyd | lazy lazy lazy Floyd | lazy lazy Floyd | Floyd | Wallaroo. You are not lazy. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "read notebook" | ||||
Floyd | On this page you've just written: Floyd | Floyd | FAILURE Floyd | FAILURE Floyd | FAILURE Floyd | FAILURE Floyd | FAILURE Floyd | FAILURE Floyd | FAILURE Floyd | Floyd | You are such a drama queen. We are going to get your dissertation Floyd | unstuck today. You'll wish you'd thought to bring me along sooner. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "read notebook" | ||||
Floyd | The remaining pages of the notebook are blank. Floyd | Floyd | You pause and look morose. You do the thing where you put your hands Floyd | on your temples and start tugging your hair. Please forget about the Floyd | pen. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "burn notebook" | ||||
Floyd | Given your conviction that you must have a pen and notebook handy in Floyd | order to write on your computer, you'd better not. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says (to DavidW), "#belated you can break something now" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "break window" | ||||
Floyd | It's hard for me to see what purpose breaking your window would serve. Floyd | More importantly, someone would almost certainly see and call campus Floyd | security, and that will introduce new hassles to your afternoon and Floyd | prevent you from getting any writing done. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "(I can get more explicit, but you're running out of stuff to break)" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "break key" | ||||
Floyd | It's a spunky little key. You can't break it. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "break stool" | ||||
Floyd | Why would you do that? Besides my having painted the stool so lovely Floyd | for you, you wouldn't be able to get to anything on top of the bookcase Floyd | anymore. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "break snowglobe" | ||||
Floyd | Ugh. Okay. You break the snowglobe against the pipe. You pick up the Floyd | figurine and the base, the latter of which you realise now was just a Floyd | coaster I took from the kitchen. You leave the broken glass on the Floyd | floor. Floyd | Floyd | I can make another snowglobe easy enough. The figurine is intact, and Floyd | that's the part that took more than two days. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing from Drumsticks, the bootleg album recorded during a Floyd | performance at a family fried chicken restaurant. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x coaster" | ||||
Floyd | It's a University of Wisconsin coaster, with a photo of the mascot Floyd | Bucky Badger on the front. Bucky's beady eyes never fail to creep me Floyd | out. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put coaster in pouch" | ||||
Floyd | The coaster is too big to fit in the pouch. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x figurine" | ||||
Floyd | Luckily he's not damaged. He looks smaller outside the globe. I don't Floyd | know if I will want to make another snowglobe or do something Floyd | different. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put figurine in pouch" | ||||
Floyd | Done. I'm not sure I like this. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says, "ha ha" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "shoot pen" | ||||
Floyd | The Saskastoon Strangler sails through the air and hits the pen Floyd | headfirst, knocking it loose. The pen falls to the floor. The figurine Floyd | careens ahead into the wall and shatters. Floyd | Floyd | Unbelievable. Un-be-[bother]ing-lievable. Floyd | Floyd | Remember? That night sitting on the swings, shortly after we started Floyd | dating? I was emphatic that we had to end this before we got serious. | ||||
| DavidW pushes the green 'space' button. | ||||
Floyd | "But, Violet," you said, "I'm already serious." Floyd | "Coming to Wisconsin was supposed to be a great adventure. I didn't Floyd | know it was so cold. I thought Madison was bigger. I miss my family. Floyd | My friends are all leaving when they finish their MFAs. Mine is Floyd | already done. We only have a future if I stay. And if I stay, I would Floyd | just be waiting." Floyd | | ||||
| DavidW pushes the green 'space' button. | ||||
Floyd | We had that conversation the day after you turned 28, because I was Floyd | determined to break up with you and thought only a cretin would dump Floyd | someone on their birthday. Floyd | Floyd | You convinced me to stay. You said you would be done in a year, a year Floyd | and a half at the most. Instead: two years now. Two years. And this Floyd | is what you need to do because you can't just sit your [bother] down Floyd | and write? Floyd | Floyd | I know you aren't doing this to hurt me. I'll try go back to being Floyd | Your Upbeat Aussie Girlfriend. But, honestly: what am I supposed to Floyd | think here? How am I supposed to feel? Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take pen" | ||||
Floyd | Yours, weet-bix. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing "You With the Notepad," the stunning and entirely Floyd | improvised final track done without once breaking eye contact with a Floyd | woman later identified as Francine Kinkle, music editor for a local Floyd | college newspaper. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "read pen" | ||||
Floyd | I cannot be blamed for Marty leaving you a pen with "You do not deserve Floyd | Violet" etched on the side. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x sprinkler" | ||||
Floyd | It looks like an ordinary sprinkler. Nothing intriguing about it. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple asks, "whoa! bug?" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] inky says, "hmm, it's "weet-bix" and not "weetabix", hunh" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "it's weet-bix in australia, weetabix in the uk." | ||||
| [cfspoilers] inky says, "aha" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "SAVE" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "cf3" | ||||
Floyd | Enter saved game to store: Ok. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x glass" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "water" | ||||
Floyd | You're going to have to use a different verb for me to understand what Floyd | you mean. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x water" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "write" | ||||
Floyd | (first sitting on chair) Floyd | Within three minutes you've taken the cable out of the cabinet and are Floyd | watching a video of a dog dressed as a ballerina. Oh, dundeecake. If Floyd | you can't be disciplined, then you'll have to be clever. Floyd | Floyd | You do unplug the cable again and lock it back in the cabinet. Now, Floyd | what to do with the key? Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "he just has the internet puzzle left" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "i" | ||||
Floyd | You're carrying a shiny little key, a pen, a coaster, some pitiful Floyd | little plastic shards, a pink sticky blob of bubble gum, a rubber Floyd | square, a small chip, a bit of lilac thread, a lighter, an empty Floyd | plastic bottle and a notebook, and you're wearing the platyPod. Floyd | Floyd | You also have a binder clip on your nose. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "burn shards" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see how you'd be able to burn that. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "you actually saw the solution to this already" | |||
| inky says, "not that that helps you much" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "well, no, i guess the platypod and the book, as well. the book hasn't even shown itself as a problem because he hasn't solved the internet puzzle." | DavidW says, "I tried eating the key and sticking the gum to it." | |||
| DavidW says, "and pushing it under the door and putting it in the vent" | ||||
| Lucea says, "you're not going to be able to do anything if you've still got access to that key" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "eat key" | ||||
Floyd | It's not going to work, berry smush. You are lucky you didn't vomit Floyd | the last time. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing the title track from Francine. (Actually, all 37 Floyd | songs on the album are officially titled "Francine.") Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "yeah, those are all reasonable (just not correct)" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put key under door" | ||||
Floyd | A few moments later someone has slid the key back into your office. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take key" | ||||
Floyd | Yours, wallaroo. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "the vent is probably the closest to the right idea" | |||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "he hasn't noticed the theme with the puzzles." | DavidW says, "I would guess there's a drain under the cactus." | |||
| DavidW says, "The floor tipping that way and the sprinkler would argue for a drain there." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x drain" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "the reason for the cactus is to disallow a whole lot of ways of trying to get to the pen." | inky says, "hmm, I think the floor is just tippy there to keep you from getting at the sprinkler conveniently" | |||
| DavidW says, "I can't toss the key out the window" | ||||
| inky says, "that is correct" | ||||
| DavidW says, "There doesn't seem to be a way to open the grill of the vent." | ||||
| inky says, "that is also correct" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put gum on thread" | ||||
Floyd | Putting things on the bit of lilac thread would achieve nothing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "there isn't. the vent is just there for the ending." | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Jacqueline says, "Oh please tell me he tried putting the key under the door. I'm afraid I have a headache and I'm only half paying attention, unfortunately." | inky says, "it is generally true that you have to put the key somewhere and then do something so you can't get it back again" | |||
| [cfspoilers] inky says, "he did" | DavidW says, "The lighter is explicitly not a lightsource, so it can't help me see into the vent." | |||
| Lucea says, "It's a good thing Marty isn't the one writing; he might have considerably more trouble." | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Jacqueline says, "yay" | DavidW says, "I wanted to melt the plastic shards or bottle onto the key to make it unusable." | |||
| [cfspoilers] Lucea says, "I hope that wasn't too obvious." | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "the message for PUT KEY UNDER VENT is better if you don't have the platypod on though." | DavidW asks, "Does the cabinet autolock? I can't just put the key in the cabinet WITH the cable, can I?" | |||
| inky says, "alas no" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put key in pouch" | ||||
Floyd | You put the shiny little key into the rubber square's "pouch". Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put pouch under door" | ||||
Floyd | I don't really see what that would accomplish, dundeecake. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take key" | ||||
Floyd | Yours, wallaroo. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing the song unofficially titled "Parking Garage," Floyd | following the convention of identifying tracks on Francine by the Floyd | location of the tryst the liner notes say inspired them. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put key on cactus" | ||||
Floyd | Putting things on the giant cactus would achieve nothing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put key in pot" | ||||
Floyd | That won't work. You would just fish it out again later, dundeecake. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put key in computer" | ||||
Floyd | That isn't a container, wallaroo. Unless I'm misunderstanding what you Floyd | are trying to do. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "unscrew pen" | ||||
Floyd | Nothing obvious happens. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x pen" | ||||
Floyd | With its cap on it looks like a bright lavender tube. Crudely etched Floyd | on the side is a message: Floyd | Floyd | You do not deserve Violet Floyd | Floyd | Eek. Apparently Marty had it for me worse than I realised. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "remove cap" | ||||
Floyd | When you take off the cap, purple gunk sprays out of it and all over Floyd | your clothes. Marty! Floyd | Floyd | I don't know how he rigged that. I also don't know why men conclude Floyd | that the best way of expressing anguish over me is through some display Floyd | of mechanical cleverness. Remember Colin and the 50-foot aluminium Floyd | peacock? Floyd | Floyd | The pen itself actually works. Of course, your clothes are ruined. Floyd | Worse, you are starting to itch. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing "Booth Seven at Steak'n'Shake," the track on Francine Floyd | that got him tour dates opening for ironic death metal icon Jimmy Floyd | Catkicker. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "there is some kind of bug with X PEN, although it won't otherwise affect gameplay." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x clothes" | ||||
Floyd | I don't know what the purple gunk is, but it's certainly making you Floyd | itch. Floyd | Floyd | You are itchy. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "remove clothes" | ||||
Floyd | You place your clothes neatly next to the cactus. Floyd | Floyd | So now you're standing in your office naked, with a red binder clip on Floyd | your nose and what looks like a furry three-legged space creature on Floyd | your head. Floyd | Floyd | You are ready to write now. I can feel it. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says, "ha ha" | |||
| inky says, "hee hee" | ||||
| Jacqueline says, "Hooray." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x cap" | ||||
Floyd | It's a completely ordinary pen cap. I still don't understand how Marty Floyd | rigged it to squirt that purple gunk. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says, "hm. Still don't know what to do about the key." | |||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "it shouldn't have said he's ready to write now, though. none of the beta testers this part before solving the internet puzzle, but i should have anticipated the possibility." | inky says, "ok, bigger hint: you need to put it someplace, then ensure you can't reach it again" | |||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "davidw would be an awesome beta tester, i suspect." | DavidW says, "hm. I see no bondage equipment here." | |||
| [cfspoilers] Jacqueline says, "Yes, he is." | inky says, "ha ha ha" | |||
| Lucea says, "uh" | ||||
| inky says, "you're already naked, how much more fanservice do you want from this game" | ||||
| DavidW asks, "Violet, where's the handcuffs?" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "lucea was a completely excellent beta tester." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "find handcuffs" | ||||
Floyd | I didn't understand that sentence. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x tattoo" | ||||
Floyd | "TYVTWD" in red marker on the back of your right hand. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x birthmark" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Lucea exclaims, "Thanks!" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "throw key at sprinkler" | ||||
Floyd | There's no point to doing that now that the pen is no longer wedged Floyd | above the sprinkler. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "throw key at light" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what that would accomplish. Please just write. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing from his follow-up album to Francine, which was also Floyd | titled Francine. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put key on light" | ||||
Floyd | Putting things on the fluorescent light would achieve nothing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Lucea says, "maybe it'd help if he hadn't gotten the trophy yet" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Lucea says, "since it mentions that the trophy's on top of the cabinet" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put key on whatever" | ||||
Floyd | Putting things on the whatever would achieve nothing. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "hee hee" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put key on bind" | ||||
Floyd | I don't see what you are talking about. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put key on blind" | ||||
Floyd | Putting things on the blind would achieve nothing. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "you do have to put it someplace high, yeah" | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "look" | ||||
Floyd | Here in your office, you have a huge desk, a resplendent yellow chair, Floyd | a cabinet, a giant cactus, a tall bookcase, and an incredibly cute Floyd | stool. Floyd | Floyd | On the desk are a photograph, your computer, my itinerary and a pile Floyd | you cannot even contemplate. The bookcase holds a book. In addition, Floyd | on the floor are your clothes, fake snow and a wastebasket. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put key on top of bookcase" | ||||
Floyd | The bookcase is too tall for you to put anything on top of it unless Floyd | you are standing on the stool. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "move stool to bookcase" | ||||
Floyd | The stool is now back in its intended location by the bookcase. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing excerpts from "Why?," originally an eighty-three Floyd | minute song in which he stops playing once to cry and twice to leave Floyd | voicemails for Francine. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "stand on bookcase" | ||||
Floyd | This is how office furniture at Wisconsin works: the bookcase is bolted Floyd | to the wall, and yet the shelves are so rickety that I'm sure if you Floyd | try to climb the bookcase, one of them will collapse and you'll sprain Floyd | something. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put key on top of bookcase" | ||||
Floyd | The bookcase is too tall for you to put anything on top of it unless Floyd | you are standing on the stool. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "stand on stool" | ||||
Floyd | The stool creaks once again as you climb onto it. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put key on top of bookcase" | ||||
Floyd | Curious, dundeecake. Done. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "stand" | ||||
Floyd | You are already on the stool. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "get off stool" | ||||
Floyd | You get off the stool. Floyd | Floyd | Warren is playing "It's Because He Plays Guitar, Isn't it?" Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "break stool" | ||||
Floyd | Gently, but irreparably, you break the stool. Floyd | Floyd | I know it was practically broken already, but I loved that stool. I Floyd | know I said to do "whatever you must." It still hurts to watch what Floyd | that "must" is taking from us. Floyd | Floyd | Ultimately, yes, I understand. Then again, I'm speaking just as your Floyd | imaginary rendition of me. Actual-Me was already fed up enough to buy Floyd | a plane ticket; I'm not sure how you expect to explain this. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] inky says, "oh yeah, I would like it if 'stand' got down off the thing you were on" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple exclaims, "hooray!" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "write" | ||||
Floyd | (first sitting on chair) Floyd | You try again. Within a few seconds you start wondering what the fear Floyd | of writing is called. Scribophobia? Graphophobia? You go to look it Floyd | up online. You can't. You itch to check your e-mail. You can't. Floyd | Floyd | So you start thinking about Chapter 3 again. Woo-woo! The train of Floyd | ideas is finally pulling into keyboard station. I can see the first Floyd | sentence now. Floyd | Floyd | But the music is so loud that it spoils your concentration and Floyd | everything derails. Ugh. It's like trying to write while sitting next Floyd | to the amps at a concert. I didn't think I could possibly hate Julia Floyd | any worse than after she posted my cell phone # on those marsupial Floyd | fetish listservs. You cannot let her win. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] inky asks, "isn't that an inform standard?" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "i don't know. i wrote the code for getting on and off myself because it didn't do something else the way i wanted. i'll put it on my list, though." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "raise right eyebrow" | ||||
Floyd | The platyPod clicks and the oz-hop you fail to properly appreciate Floyd | resumes. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "write" | ||||
Floyd | The volume on the platyPod is too loud for you to concentrate. Floyd | Floyd | Not to be morbid, but it's too bad you aren't a bit hard of hearing. Floyd | Then the platyPod could block out the remaining noise without being too Floyd | loud. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "jiggle head clockwise" | ||||
Floyd | You move your head in adorable little clockwise circles. TOO LOUD! Floyd | TOO LOUD! You jiggle your head anticlockwise to turn it back down. Floyd | Floyd | You glance over to the book. You're fidgeting. You know you've Floyd | already more than enough ideas for a first draft. Just put the book Floyd | out of your mind today. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "burn book" | ||||
Floyd | (standing up first) Floyd | Gee, budgie. Far be it from me to be the moral conscience when fire is Floyd | involved, but that's a library book. There's bound to be a hefty fine. Floyd | And it seems a little insane. If you really want to, we can, but it Floyd | shouldn't be a rash decision. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "burn book" | ||||
Floyd | (first taking the book) Floyd | I was secretly hoping you would. You light the book on fire and it Floyd | burns magnificently! Yay! That was epic to watch, and now we don't Floyd | have to deal with you being tempted anymore to read. Floyd | Floyd | The coughing and light smoke damage are well worth it. I'll go Floyd | halfsies on the library fine. Floyd | Floyd | As for the sprinkler: nothing. Not one drop. Don't even pretend to be Floyd | surprised to learn that the University gives graduate students offices Floyd | in a death-trap. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] Lucea says, "out of all the things I had to do, that one was the hardest" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "write" | ||||
Floyd | (first sitting on chair) Floyd | The volume on the platyPod is too loud for you to concentrate. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "jiggle head counterclockwise" | ||||
Floyd | You move your head in jaunty little anticlockwise circles. The volume Floyd | is not loud. You can still sometimes hear Julia and Historic Pfister Floyd | across the hall. (Hopefully the platyPod 2.0 will allow more precise Floyd | volume control.) Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "write" | ||||
Floyd | You're ready to write. Except now you are looking at the door. True, Floyd | you can still sometimes hear Julia and Historic Pfister across the Floyd | hall. The noise not loud enough as to normally be a distraction, but I Floyd | can understand that your ex-girlfriend and some dork hooking up is not Floyd | "normally." Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put gum in ears" | ||||
Floyd | You can't put anything in your ears so long as you are wearing the Floyd | platyPod. Floyd | Floyd | You are distracted by Historic Pfister's shrieking attempts to summon a Floyd | deity. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "remove platypod" | ||||
Floyd | The platyPod automatically turns off when you remove it. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put gum in ears" | ||||
Floyd | You are marvellous. The gum does not block out all sound, but some. Floyd | You can still hear Julia and Historic Pfister when they are being Floyd | especially loud. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "wear platypod" | ||||
Floyd | The platyPod still fits well, as the earpieces nestle nicely into the Floyd | gum. The platyPod is switched off. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "ooh, he got that right away. he's all done except for the peeing." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "scrunch brow" | ||||
Floyd | My voice: "Look, it even lets you record a start-up message! How the Floyd | platyPod works: You cycle through the different playlists by RAISING Floyd | your left or right eyebrow. NOD to skip to the next track. JIGGLE Floyd | your head clockwise to turn the volume up, and jiggle it anticlockwise Floyd | to turn it down." Floyd | Floyd | The platyPod turns on. The platyPod clicks and the oz-hop you fail to Floyd | properly appreciate resumes. Floyd | Floyd | The volume is on low, and it's even lower with the gum in your ears. Floyd | Nonetheless, you can still sometimes faintly hear Julia and Historic Floyd | Pfister across the hall. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] inky says, "ha ha" | ||||
| [cfspoilers] maga asks, "is heteronormativity on?" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "jiggle head clockwise" | ||||
Floyd | You move your head in endearing little clockwise circles. The volume Floyd | is still not that loud given the gum in your ears, but you can no Floyd | longer hear Julia and Historic Pfister at all. Hee. Take that, Julia! Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "write" | ||||
Floyd | You try again. But then you hear MC Dingo rhyme "casino" and "albino" Floyd | and it breaks your concentration entirely. When I put oz-hop on your Floyd | platyPod, I wasn't really thinking of it as writing music. Floyd | Floyd | MC Dingo contends that you're not a real gangsta unless you come from a Floyd | country originally founded as a gangsta colony. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple says, "he didn't do ABOUT, so he didn't see that option." | inky says, "ha ha" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "raise left eyebrow" | ||||
Floyd | The platyPod clicks and Warren is kicking [bother] on his accordion Floyd | again. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "write" | ||||
Floyd | You try again. But then you start doing air accordion to Warren Tim Floyd | Harried. I'm not sure how easy it is going to be able for you to write Floyd | while the most compelling musician ever is playing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "raise left eyebrow" | ||||
Floyd | The platyPod clicks and the nondescript melodies of Primrose Meanwell Floyd | begin once more. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "write" | ||||
| DavidW pushes the green 'space' button. | ||||
Floyd | You write two more sentences. I can tell you're feeling more Floyd | confident. I knew you could do this. You conclude the first paragraph Floyd | with an especially provocative participle. Then you hit enter and Floyd | realise: Floyd | Floyd | You have to pee. Floyd | Floyd | Unbelievable. This must be an anxiety thing. You are killing me. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "SAVE" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "cf4" | ||||
Floyd | Enter saved game to store: Ok. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "pee in bottle" | ||||
Floyd | You do. Obviously I didn't watch. I'm disgusted but proud of your Floyd | perseverance. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| [cfspoilers] crumple asks, "was that a bug?" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "write" | ||||
Floyd | You write a second paragraph. Then a third. You're past a thousand Floyd | words within a few hours. You decide you want to finish the entire Floyd | section. You do. Not your best prose, but that isn't the point. Floyd | Julia and the zombies have long gone when you finish, which you are Floyd | thankful for when you need to run naked out to the car. Floyd | Floyd | You rehearse what you want to tell me all the way home. Instead, Floyd | there's a note on the door: Floyd | | ||||
| [cfspoilers] inky says, "I think it was just pausing to hit a key" | ||||
| DavidW pushes the green 'space' button. | ||||
Floyd | Gone. Sorry. Floyd | Floyd | Violet Floyd | Floyd | You had to have known I was going to leave you anyway. All the clues Floyd | were there. Floyd | | ||||
| DavidW pushes the green 'space' button. | ||||
Floyd | "SURPRISE!" thirty people jump up and shout when you open the door. Floyd | Good thing you were covering your [bother] with the pages you wrote. Floyd | Floyd | One hour and three drinks later, you aren't even that embarrassed. I Floyd | pull you into the kitchen and kiss you. Floyd | Floyd | "You said you wanted something twisted for your birthday." Floyd | "I was thinking more along the lines of you in peculiar lingerie." Floyd | "I spent much of today hyperventilating thinking it was too cruel." Floyd | "I figured out some important things today. So, at worst, it was an Floyd | extremely instructive cruel." Floyd | "I'll still understand if you're angry." Floyd | "You're the one who's going to be angry. I have to tell you something Floyd | about the snowglobe. And the origami trophy. And--" Floyd | Floyd | I put my hand on your chest to stop you. "I've a confession that Floyd | supersedes yours." | ||||
| DavidW pushes the green 'space' button. | ||||
Floyd | Floyd | I open up my laptop and show you. On my screen is your office, as seen Floyd | from the vent above the door. Floyd | Floyd | Of course you're bewildered. I explain: "When I was hiding your Floyd | birthday present, I rigged a camera up there. Not to spy! Or, not to Floyd | spy like that. I needed to know when you were coming home for the Floyd | party. I thought it would just be you at your computer. I didn't know Floyd | you'd end up naked and peeing in a soda bottle." Floyd | Floyd | "I spent the entire day imagining that you were watching me," you say. Floyd | "Maybe it only worked because you actually were." Floyd | "Watching you break everything was maddening," I tell you, "but I'm Floyd | still here. I understand, even. Sort of. So long as you understand Floyd | that you're only getting store-bought presents for a while." Floyd | Floyd | We've reached the hard part. "I'm committed to this, budgie. But I Floyd | don't know what we're going to do with you." | ||||
| DavidW pushes the green 'space' button. | ||||
Floyd | "No, Violet. What are we going to do with you? My turn is done. It's Floyd | the only fair thing." Floyd | "You've been miserable. You'll be happier this way." Floyd | "I'm already happier. Today made it so clear. This is not what I'm Floyd | meant to be doing with my life. I know, I've spent six years in Floyd | graduate school, I should be crying right now. Instead I feel Floyd | wonderful. I love you so much." Floyd | Floyd | Me too, wallaroo. Floyd | Floyd | Three weeks later we are holding hands in the supereconomy section of a Floyd | flight to Australia. My brother is lending me money to open a Floyd | curiosities shop. He's found you a job at a comic book shop until you Floyd | decide what's next. Floyd | | ||||
| DavidW pushes the green 'space' button. | ||||
Floyd | * * * Floyd | Floyd | I know it's not precisely Plan A, but we are happy and unstuck. This Floyd | is winning. What now? I understand if you just want to QUIT now that Floyd | the merry glow of victory is upon us. But you can also UNDO the last Floyd | turn, RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, or (bonus!) view some of the Floyd | so-called AMUSING things you might've missed. Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "amusing" | ||||
Floyd | Apparently a tradition in these games is that a victorious player is Floyd | allowed to view a list of humorous things they may've missed on the Floyd | path to triumph. While I remain nonplussed that a stranger has turned Floyd | one of the more emotionally complicated days of my romantic life into a Floyd | "text adventure" game, I've resolved to be a sport about it. Floyd | Forthwith, then, let me review some possibly-overlooked highlights of Floyd | our neuroses: Floyd | Floyd | 1. ABOUT, CREDITS, and COPYRIGHT were also written by Actual Me. Floyd | Floyd | 2. On your computer, you can OPEN BROWSER (multiple times), OPEN Floyd | E-MAIL (ditto), and OPEN CHAT (eek). Floyd | Floyd | 3. Various commands commonly implemented in other games have their own Floyd | responses here, including QUIT, BUY (something), SING, SCORE, SECRETS, Floyd | TOPICS, TIME, SORRY, NORMAL, SHORT, VERBOSE, THINK ABOUT something, Floyd | REMEMBER, CRY, WAVE, and the traditional magic word XYZZY. Floyd | Floyd | 4. After you SHAKE THE GLOBE, EXAMINE IT for a few successive turns Floyd | and/or EXAMINE THE FIGURINE. Floyd | Floyd | 5. Some things you may have missed examining along the way: ME, JULIA Floyd | (once she's around), LIQUID, GUNK, THREAD (then take something), GUM a Floyd | second time, ZOMBIE (couple of times), PIRATE, CEILING, WALL, and Floyd | FLOOR. Also, the notebook has several pages to READ and its lenticular Floyd | cover changes messages when you examine it. Floyd | Floyd | 6. Some of the ways to achieve less happy endings to the game are to Floyd | BURN PILE, insist on trying to OPEN DOOR once Julia is around, MOVE Floyd | STOOL TO CORNER and STAND ON STOOL, MAKE LOVE TO JULIA, either EXAMINE Floyd | BOOK too many times or carry the book too many turns, and THROW Floyd | WASTEBASKET AT PEN. Floyd | Floyd | 7. Much miscellany, a few examples of which are LOOK UNDER DESK, Floyd | SWALLOW GUM and KEY, DELETE BROWSER or CHAT, BURN Floyd | COASTER/PLATYPOD/CACTUS, PUT SQUARE IN POUCH, OPEN VENT, ASK VIOLET Floyd | ABOUT SOMETHING, PUT KEY IN PILE (after cable is in cabinet), RIP Floyd | CABLE, do anything to the JACK, PUT things in NOSE, KICK something, Floyd | CLIMB BOOKCASE, TAKE VIOLET, and SLIDE KEY UNDER DOOR. Floyd | Floyd | 8. As (bonus!) easter eggs, WARREN EGG presents all the Warren Tim Floyd | Harried tracks, JULIA EGG presents all the main events across the hall, Floyd | and PETNAME EGG greets you with one of my petnames. Floyd | Floyd | I'm debuting a new line of stainless steel numbats at the shop and Floyd | won't keep prattling. My husband has sworn off the Internet and so Floyd | can't type this himself, but he wanted me to tell you hello and that, Floyd | even though he's sometimes wistful about not finishing his Ph.D., it Floyd | was plainly for the best. Floyd | Floyd | Epilogically yours, Floyd | Violet Floyd | Floyd | Now what, wallaroo? Shall we UNDO, RESTART, RESTORE, or just QUIT? Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "hooray" | |||
| inky says, "once again you demonstrate your superior puzzle-solving abilities" | ||||
| DavidW says, "heh" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "petname egg" | ||||
Floyd | Please give one of the answers above. Floyd | Floyd | Now what, dundeecake? Shall we UNDO, RESTART, RESTORE, or just QUIT? Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | > | crumple says, "you had an unusual order through the game, partly because you got the gist of the pen puzzle right away." | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "undo" | ||||
Floyd | | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "push space" | ||||
Floyd | Please give one of the answers above. Floyd | Floyd | Now what, wallaroo? Shall we UNDO, RESTART, RESTORE, or just QUIT? Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "undo" | ||||
Floyd | | inky says, "hunh" | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "restore" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), ""cf4"" | ||||
Floyd | Enter saved game to load: Restore failed. Floyd | Floyd | Now what, dundeecake? Shall we UNDO, RESTART, RESTORE, or just QUIT? Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "restore" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "cf4" | ||||
Floyd | Enter saved game to load: Ok. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "petname egg" | ||||
Floyd | Hey, wallaroo. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "petname egg" | ||||
Floyd | You're great, dundeecake. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "petname egg" | ||||
Floyd | I adore you, wallaroo. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "petname egg" | ||||
Floyd | You're the best, dundeecake. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "ha ha" | |||
| Lucea says, "I think this might work better by restarting" | ||||
| inky says, "I'll just do this all day" | ||||
| inky says, "when I am feeling :C" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "julia egg" | ||||
Floyd | 1. Somebody is coming up the stairs. I thought you said no one ever Floyd | comes in on the weekend? Floyd | Floyd | 2. Two voices in the hallway: a man and Julia. Julia hasn't been in Floyd | her office in weeks. She shows up on a Saturday? Floyd | Floyd | 3. Julia is here to sabotage you. I'm sure of it. She's in her Floyd | office across the hall now, talking loudly with her door open. Floyd | Floyd | 4. The dude with Julia sounds like the one she was flirting with at Floyd | Lucy's party. Remember? He was scrawny and said his parents owned a Floyd | hotel in Milwaukee called "The Historic Pfister." Floyd | Floyd | 5. I don't know why I confided in Lucy about our problems. I should Floyd | have known she would tell Julia. Floyd | Floyd | 6. You are distracted by Julia laughing inauthentically and telling Floyd | Historic Pfister "You are so clever." Floyd | Floyd | 7. You are distracted by Julia talking about her abs. Floyd | Floyd | 8. You are distracted by Julia saying especially loudly "...You could Floyd | use mine to calculate pi..."* Floyd | Floyd | 9. You are distracted by Julia going on loudly about how you get a Floyd | discount if you get both tongue piercings at the same time. Floyd | Floyd | 10. You are distracted by Julia talking about her [bother]. I can't Floyd | believe you dated someone so crass. Floyd | Floyd | 11. You are distracted by Julia saying especially loudly, "Impressive, Floyd | huh? When I was in high school my guidance counsellor recommended that Floyd | I become a contortionist." Floyd | Floyd | 12. You are distracted by Julia saying especially loudly, "It's not so Floyd | much that I'm double jointed as just very determined." Floyd | Floyd | 13. You are distracted by Julia saying especially loudly, "Sure, she's Floyd | cute. If you can get past the mole." Floyd | Floyd | Hey! Watch it, Julia. Floyd | Floyd | 14. You are distracted by Julia saying "She makes things that look Floyd | like summer camp crafts and tries to convince people they're art." Floyd | Floyd | I wonder if I'd get away with it if I killed her right before my flight Floyd | leaves tomorrow morning. Floyd | Floyd | 15. You are distracted by Julia loudly saying "I bet when they first Floyd | hooked up, she was like, 'Would you like to see my didgeridoo?'" (That Floyd | has to be the most gallingly inept fake Australian accent I have ever Floyd | heard. She sounds like a Norwegian parakeet.) Floyd | Floyd | 16. You are distracted by Julia laughing and mock-shrieking "Or maybe, Floyd | 'Touch my kiwi! Touch my kiwi!'" Ugh. How can someone almost have Floyd | her Ph.D. and not know that kiwis are New Zealand, not Australia? Floyd | Floyd | 17. You are distracted by Julia saying especially loudly, "You've been Floyd | working out. I've noticed." Floyd | Floyd | Oh no. Floyd | Floyd | 18. You are distracted by Julia squealing, "Wait, it's your birthday, Floyd | too? Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Floyd | Floyd | 19. You are distracted by a startled grunt from Historic Pfister. I Floyd | do not believe this is happening. Floyd | Floyd | 20. You are distracted by Historic Pfister making noises perhaps best Floyd | characterised as mewling. Floyd | Floyd | 21. You are distracted by Julia saying, "Wait, if today is the 24th, Floyd | and you are 24, that makes this your golden birthday." Well, then. Floyd | Floyd | 22. You are distracted by Historic Pfister's shrieking attempts to Floyd | summon a deity. Floyd | Floyd | 23. You are distracted by Historic Pfister saying excitedly, "Okay, Floyd | now you're a princess, and I'm a ninja!" Floyd | Floyd | 24. You are distracted by Historic Pfister making a noise that doesn't Floyd | sound very much like a ninja, unless there is an order of yodelling Floyd | ninja I don't know about. Floyd | Floyd | 25. You are distracted by Historic Pfister making contented little Floyd | yelping sounds. Floyd | Floyd | You have to pee. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "ha ha" | |||
| inky says, "yelping sounds induce a need to pee" | ||||
| DavidW says, "hm. Where was the gender selection made? I don't remember an option." | ||||
| crumple says, "clearly, i need to revisit the design decision behind not letting the player BREAK SNOWGLOBE until after they've shattered the tater tot." | ||||
| inky says, "it's listed in the about" | ||||
| crumple says, "type ABOUT." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "about" | ||||
Floyd | I get sloshed at a dinner party and tell the story, and a few months Floyd | later I receive an e-mail from a man I don't remember announcing that Floyd | I'm a "game." I suppose I should be flattered. Floyd | Floyd | Or perhaps you should be flattered. You are the one who gets to Floyd | pretend to be my boyfriend. Floyd | Floyd | We proceed by you typing what you want to do. Don't get cute: type a Floyd | verb, or a verb and noun, or maybe verb-noun-preposition-noun. The Floyd | following are examples of things you can do: Floyd | Floyd | WRITE Floyd | EXAMINE DESK (or X DESK) Floyd | TAKE ITINERARY Floyd | OPEN DRAWER Floyd | STAND ON CHAIR Floyd | LOOK UNDER DESK Floyd | PUT ITINERARY ON CABINET Floyd | Floyd | I'll report what happens, and we go from there. You can probably trip Floyd | me up if you try to be an arse about it, but what's the fun of that? Floyd | Floyd | You can see an inventory of what you are holding at any time by typing Floyd | I or EXAMINE ME (X ME). If you want a summary description of the room Floyd | you're in, just LOOK. Floyd | Floyd | You can save the game by typing SAVE, and restore a saved game by Floyd | typing RESTORE. I'll be desolate if you QUIT. Floyd | Floyd | What else? CREDITS and COPYRIGHT are available whenever. If you're Floyd | ever stuck, I can give you a HINT. If you want to take back your last Floyd | action, UNDO bends space-time to your regretful will. Floyd | Floyd | Finally: you are male by default (curse you, patriarchy!). I'm not Floyd | changing my gender on your behalf, but you are welcome to change yours. Floyd | Just type FEMALE or, more stylishly, HETERONORMATIVITY OFF. Floyd | Floyd | I would wish you luck, but you don't need luck. You just need to Floyd | write. Floyd | Floyd | Virtually yours, Floyd | Violet Floyd | Floyd | > | Lucea says, "I also have to do this" | |||
| Lucea says (to floyd), "patriarchy off" | ||||
Floyd | I suspect that's a fair bit more difficult to program. Floyd | Floyd | > | Bert says, "The power of a betatester." | |||
| inky asks, "wait, do what?" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "credits" | ||||
Floyd | I know at the beginning it says "by Jeremy Freese," which I would Floyd | deeply resent if me "being a game" wasn't already so absurd. I will Floyd | try to not dwell further on his creepy expropriation of me. I cannot, Floyd | however, sit quiet while the many others who helped Freese go Floyd | egregiously unacknowledged. Floyd | | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "push space" | ||||
Floyd | For starters: Floyd | I wouldn't have my very own all-text adaptation if not for Inform 7, by Floyd | Graham Nelson, Emily Short, and colleagues. Freese also leeched off I7 Floyd | extensions written by Emily Short, David Fisher, and Jon Ingold. Floyd | Freese pestered readers of rec.arts.int-fiction for aid, and among Floyd | those who helped were J.D. Clemens, Eric Eve, Jesse McGrew, Peter Floyd | Pears, Andrew Plotkin, Emily Short, and (especially) Mike Tarbert. Floyd | Freese badgered others into beta testing, including Gemma Bristow, Floyd | Corey Colyer, James Cunningham, Benji Dahood, Molly Geene, Dan Floyd | Hirschman, Javri, Tiffany Julian, Sarah Morayati, Carl Muckenhoupt, Floyd | Lucy Pigpuppet, Reiko, Thomas Say, Stephan Schonberg, and Ramona White. Floyd | Eric Dean Freese made cover art. Floyd | | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "push space" | ||||
Floyd | Worst of all: Floyd | Freese used R. C. M. so thoroughly in creating this that he's an Floyd | absolute [bother] for not dedicating the whole thing to her. Floyd | Floyd | Annoyedly yours, Floyd | Violet Floyd | Floyd | > | crumple says, "i will confess to some ambivalence about the cover art." | |||
| DavidW asks, "I'm wondering what the thread is for. Is that used in the female-PC plot option?" | ||||
| Bert says, "It is foreshadowing of the ending." | ||||
| inky says, "it is a dangling plot thread" | ||||
| crumple says, "no. it foreshadows the ending." | ||||
| DavidW says, "Or was that just a clue abo... ah, oka" | ||||
| DavidW says, "+y" | ||||
| Limax says, "Help me. I'm falling in a pit" | ||||
| crumple says, "there was originally going to be more with the vent, but i cut about part of violet for timing reasons." | ||||
| Limax arrives, full of fun and funk. | Jacqueline if whoever is keeping it sends me the full transcript, I'll work on getting the site updated (there are a couple of back transcripts that need to be processed, I think). | |||
| DavidW says (to Jacqueline), "I'll send it." | ||||
| DavidW says (to crumple), "Good game. That was fun." | ||||
| Lucea asks, "Did we ever open the browser/email/chat?" | ||||
| DavidW says, "no, we never did that." | ||||
| Limax says, "Aw man... too late as usual." | ||||
| Limax cries | ||||
| crumple says (to davidw), "thanks! it was interesting watching you play it. i didn't realize how different watching someone live would be from just reading a transcript." | ||||
| Lucea says (to floyd), "open browser" | ||||
Floyd | You get a "Server Not Found" message. See! Disconnecting yourself Floyd | from the Internet was a good idea! Floyd | Floyd | Primrose sings about how the idea of living with eight housemates Floyd | sounded like fun but she actually spends most weekends hiding from them Floyd | in her room. You pay no attention. Floyd | Floyd | You have to pee. Floyd | Floyd | > | Lucea says, "oh, it's still at the end" | |||
| DavidW says, "I wanted to listen to the whole Prof Adventure thing on the pod, but I can do that later." | ||||
| crumple says (to lucea), "you were the beta-tester who had the idea for a server not found message." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Lucea), "inky undid from the end." | ||||
| Lucea asks, "I did?" | ||||
| vimes says, "Cheers! I'm off to dinner now." | ||||
| vimes was passed by the passive voice. | crumple says (to lucea), "yeah, having a different message for that was your idea." | |||
| Lucea says, "I don't remember that... nice touch, at any ratee" | ||||
| Lucea says, "-e" | ||||
| DavidW asks, "Are we done for today? Or did people want to play with it a bit more?" | ||||
| lunasspecto arrives, ready to play with the toys. | DavidW says, "(I, too, would like food, except lunch,)" | |||
| crumple is off. Thanks DavidW! | ||||
| DavidW says, "thank you!" | ||||
| Limax asks (of DavidW), "Didn't you already have lunch?" | ||||
| crumple goes home. | Lucea says, "Oh, I didn't know we wouldn't be restarting. Sorry about that earlier" | |||
| DavidW says, "I had a late breakfast of oatmeal and o.j." | ||||
| inky says (to lunasspecto), "I am afraid we are just ending" | ||||
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