  
 
The idea behind ClubFloyd is that each week at a pre-arranged time, a group of people meet online to cooperatively play a game of interactive fiction. Below is a transcript of Hoosegow, written by Jack Welch and Ben Collins-Sussman. Hoosegow was originally released in 2010 as part of the Jay is Games Casual Gameplay Design Competition 7, where it took first place. You can learn more about the game, including how to download it, by visiting the ifWiki.WARNING! Below you will find a transcript of people playing this game, and it goes without saying that the transcript is full of spoilers. So, if you've never played this game, and think you might like to at some point, I do not recommend reading any further. Instead, you might want to return to the interactive fiction page. |
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| Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "load hoosegow" | ||||
Floyd | Welcome to the Cheap Glk Implementation, library version 0.9.0. Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | As the sun sets on the plains, Sheriff Cheney angrily snaps on the Floyd | cuffs. You are shoved into the coach and land on top of Muddy Charlie Floyd | and a pile of silver dollars, which until recently had been the Floyd | property of the Missouri, Kansas & Texas Line. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy whispers, "Don't fret none, Rick! You done good blowing up that Floyd | tunnel -- I just didn't plan on the sheriff getting word ahead of Floyd | time, is all. That were powerful bad luck." Floyd | Floyd | The sheriff climbs onto his horse, spits, and you begin to rumble Floyd | forward. "You boys really got it coming this time," he yells back Floyd | cheerfully. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy shakes his head. "No offense, Sheriff, but I reckon you got the Floyd | wrong men. We was just on our way to the theater." Floyd | Floyd | The sheriff disagrees. "The only place you boys are heading is Floyd | straight to the... Floyd | Floyd | Hoosegow Floyd | A Wild West Wreck by Ben Collins-Sussman and Jack Welch Floyd | Release 15 / Serial number 100209 / Inform 7 build 5Z71 (I6/v6.31 lib Floyd | 6/12N) Floyd | Type "help" for instructions and "hints" for hints -- or just roll Floyd | into town guns a-blazin'. Floyd | | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "i" | ||||
Floyd | [Press Space To Continue] Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | In the twilight, you sight the sheriff's sturdy brick office near the Floyd | edge of town. "That's mighty fine construction," notes Muddy, sounding Floyd | less feisty now. "Mighty fine indeed." The coach rolls to a halt and a Floyd | thick arm yanks you roughly from your seat. You land awkwardly in the Floyd | rutted street, where the sheriff holds you in place with the heel of Floyd | one boot. He yells to his men, "Bring the coach around back, we got to Floyd | impound that evidence." You are shoved into the sheriff's office and Floyd | then into a small holding cell. Floyd | Floyd | The deputy wakes with a start, whips his dusty boots off the desk and Floyd | stands, tucking his shirt back into his pants. The sheriff gives him a Floyd | brief, judgmental glance and offhandedly tosses an arrest warrant on Floyd | the desk. He barks, "Jimbo, listen up. Picked up these two down near Floyd | the train. A federal marshal will be coming for them at eight o'clock Floyd | tomorrow morning. There's going to be a hanging!" The deputy nods Floyd | slowly. The sheriff continues, "Please take care of our 'guests'. I Floyd | got to head down to Wichita Falls to discuss my invention with some Floyd | investors, so you is in charge." The deputy smiles until the sheriff Floyd | adds, "Jimbo, don't screw up," as he heads out the door. Floyd | Floyd | Jail Cell Floyd | Why are you not surprised to have landed right back in the hoosegow Floyd | after another one of Muddy's dubious plans? Will you ever learn? How Floyd | did it come to this? Floyd | Floyd | The small jail cell is brick on three sides, metal bars on the other, Floyd | with a tightly locked gate. A small window is set into the brickwork Floyd | above your head. Through the jail bars you can see the sheriff's Floyd | office. Floyd | Floyd | A broken stool lies on the floor. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy leans against the wall tapping a harmonica on his arm. Floyd | Floyd | In the corner of the cell, a disheveled man in a black suit is Floyd | stretched out on a crude wooden bench and is snoring loudly, oblivious Floyd | to your presence. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "i" | ||||
Floyd | You're carrying your pocketwatch and a scrap of paper. You are wearing Floyd | your hat, pants, overcoat, left boot, and right boot. Floyd | Floyd | Your revolver was confiscated, it seems. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy puts his hands in his pockets and seems to be daydreaming. Floyd | Floyd | > | Nitku says, "'Hoosegow' is a funny word" | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x paper" | ||||
| zarf arrives, full of fun, but no funk. | ||||
Floyd | Muddy's scribbled instructions for holding up the train, which you Floyd | carried out faithfully before the Sheriff showed up. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy closes his eyes and rubs his temples. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "read paper" | ||||
Floyd | In smeared scribbles: "DEER RICK, 1. GET DYNA-MITE FROM MTNSIDE, 2. Floyd | INSERT SPARKER, 3. BLOW UP TUNNEL, 4. WAIT FOR ME". Floyd | Floyd | That was Muddy's cunning plan, and unlike most of his plans, it went Floyd | off without a hitch: you got the silver, nobody got hurt. Yup, not a Floyd | single hitch -- except for getting caught. Floyd | Floyd | A faint breeze wafts by. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x watch" | ||||
Floyd | It's the wind-up timepiece you received when you were commissioned as Floyd | an officer in the Confederate Army. You may have lost everything else Floyd | in that war, but at least you have this fine pocket watch. It Floyd | currently reads eighteen minutes past seven in the evening -- less Floyd | than thirteen hours until you and Muddy are hanged. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Nitku says (to Floyd), "x me" | ||||
Floyd | Big boots, pants, a plains hat, a tattered overcoat, and some Floyd | attitude. Not so different from the uniform you once wore, just more Floyd | lived-in. Floyd | Floyd | Back in the office, the deputy stares at Muddy. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x deputy" | ||||
Floyd | Big and strong, but lacking numerically in ancestors. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says, "heh" | |||
| Roger says (to floyd), "x stool" | ||||
Floyd | A small stool, with legs a couple of feet long. It's three-legged by Floyd | design, but two-legged in practice, hence its inability to stand Floyd | upright. There's an empty socket where the third leg should be. All Floyd | of the paint has been worn off the seat by your illustrious Floyd | predecessors who inhabited this cell. Those same occupants carved Floyd | every square inch of the stool's seat with their initials (and the Floyd | initials look intriguing!) A small bronze plate has been nailed to Floyd | the bottom of the stool. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy stares out the window. Floyd | Floyd | > | Jacqueline asks, "Hm. A faint breeze? We're inside. Is that 'cause there's a window and the front door is open, or 'caue there's a hole behind something on the wall and there's a pre-dug tunnel outta this place?" | |||
| Benjor asks, ""Which channel for commentary?" | ||||
| inky says, "#cf-spoilers" | ||||
| inky says, "if it's spoilers" | ||||
| inky says, "otherwise here is fine" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "read initials" | ||||
Floyd | You notice a set of initials. "It says here, "RH"". Floyd | Floyd | Muddy nods knowingly, "That'd be Ricochet Howard. Cattle rustling, hog Floyd | hauling and snake twizzling". Floyd | Floyd | "Snake twizzling?" Floyd | Floyd | "All right, I made that one up. But the rest is true." Floyd | Floyd | A couple of other sets of initials catch your eye. Floyd | Floyd | Over in the office, the deputy sniffles loudly and wipes his nose on Floyd | his sleeve. Floyd | Floyd | > | Nitku says, "#cfspoilers" | |||
| Benjor says, "Once 'x self' included the word 'isquiesque' as it did in the prequel, but I think we decided to remove the inside joke." | ||||
| inky says, "er, whoops" | ||||
| Nitku says, "maybe #cf-spoilers should be an alias" | ||||
| Jacqueline says, "Huh." | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "read initials" | ||||
Floyd | "Here's some more initials, Muddy: S.X." Floyd | Floyd | Muddy smiles slyly, "Oh sure. That's Sixshooter Xavier, the roughest Floyd | Friar west of the Mississippi. An ornery character with a taste for Floyd | mead, and he plays a mean five-card stud." Floyd | Floyd | "What'd he do?" Floyd | Floyd | "Knocked over the Tulsa Casino, but donated it to orphans." Floyd | Floyd | "That don't sound so bad." Floyd | Floyd | "They wasn't orphans when he started." Floyd | Floyd | One other set of initials catches your eye. Floyd | Floyd | > | Jacqueline says, "And aw." | |||
| inky says, "ha ha" | ||||
| Jacqueline says, "Haha - that's great." | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "read initials" | ||||
Floyd | "Hey, how about this one, Muddy: MTO. That's a strange one." Floyd | Floyd | "That's got to be Tymme O'Malley, or the Leprechaun Kid like they call Floyd | him in Kansas. Wicked fast with a rifle." Floyd | Floyd | "Nah, I said MTO, must be someone else." Floyd | Floyd | "Nope, that's him all right. Dyslexic as all get out. Feds caught him Floyd | red-handed with a bag of tool." Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says, "I was expecting these initials to be the betatesters." | |||
| inky says, "ha ha more" | ||||
| Benjor says, "(If folks haven't noticed, this game is a sequel to my introcomp game, which I do *not* recommend to anyone.)" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Benjor), "aw. Trainstopping is better than my first game." | ||||
| Benjor says, "At least we preserved the characters. :-)" | ||||
| inky says, "oh, excellent" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x gate" | ||||
Floyd | (the gate) Floyd | A metal gate stands between you and freedom. The gate is set into the Floyd | metal bars that surround your cell, and its hinges must be internal. Floyd | The gate has a massive padlock that clicked definitively behind you Floyd | when you were thrown into the cell. You've seen banks with poorer Floyd | locks. At least this is a quality institution. Floyd | Floyd | Back in the office, the deputy reaches into his pocket, produces a Floyd | strip of beef jerky, and chews on it for a while. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x padlock" | ||||
Floyd | A cast-iron padlock of diabolical ingenuity. It is like no lock you've Floyd | ever seen. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "read plaque" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't able to see no such thing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "pick lock" | ||||
Floyd | You don't know how. The thing doesn't even have a keyhole. Floyd | Floyd | Just to the side of the desk, the metal contraption rumbles for a Floyd | moment and then stops. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x contraption" | ||||
Floyd | All bronze and shiny, with lots of pipes, rivets, and flanges, the Floyd | word "Protocappuccinomatic" is engraved on the main body of the Floyd | machine. The device stands about five feet high and must weigh a ton. Floyd | A sturdy iron pipe runs from the machine to the boiler. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "ha ha" | |||
| Nitku says (to Floyd), "x man" | ||||
Floyd | The man crumpled in the corner wears black vestments and a pastor's Floyd | necktie. He'd almost look respectable, if it weren't for the immediate Floyd | environment. He reeks of booze and snores loudly. A pamphlet is Floyd | sticking out of his pocket. You don't consider yourself a common Floyd | pickpocket, but it makes you wonder what else he might have on him. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW asks, "A COFFEE MACHINE?" | |||
| Jacqueline says, "mmm... coffee" | ||||
| Roger says, "There's such a long traditional history behind poisoning people's coffee in IF" | ||||
| Nitku says, "No, a protocappuccinomatic" | ||||
| Jacqueline asks, "There is?" | ||||
| Benjor whistles innocently | ||||
| DavidW says (to Roger), "yes indeed" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "get pamphlet" | ||||
Floyd | You carefully slip the pamphlet out of the sleeping man's pocket. He Floyd | almost wakes up, but doesn't. Floyd | Floyd | "Whatizit?", Muddy rasps. Floyd | Floyd | On the other side of the jail bars in the office, the deputy runs his Floyd | hand through his sparse hair. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "read it" | ||||
Floyd | You read it aloud: Floyd | Floyd | "The Prairie Gospel Church of Uncanny Righteousness (copyrighteous Floyd | 1871)" Floyd | Floyd | "For lo, the impetuous and retributive spirit of FINAL JUDGEMENT is Floyd | stirring in the heart of the unfaithful, and a FIERY thunderhead of Floyd | retribution is gathering across the plains of the undeserving, the Floyd | bereft of propriety, and promulgators of heresy, and the scalding hot Floyd | sparks of TRUTH are spraying forth, catching light the arid and HIGHLY Floyd | FLAMMABLE and veritably kerosene-soaked sawdust of the weak-willed. Floyd | And into this fray, the unwholesome BEAST shall arise and the earth Floyd | shall tremble. Its body shall tower above like a mountain, and upon Floyd | the body shall be nineteen heads, each like unto a serpent. Upon each Floyd | head, twelve horns, like that of the ram, the bull, and the elephant, Floyd | say four of each. And upon each horn, sixteen stalks, not unlike Floyd | celery in some respects, yet more flexible, more like the arms of an Floyd | octopus, except being twice as numerous. And upon each stalk, eighty Floyd | eyes, or forty pairs of eyes, if you prefer!" Floyd | Floyd | Muddy, who had been staring intently at his boot tips, looks up, Floyd | eyebrows knit in concentration. "I don't get it. Why would anything Floyd | need two hundred ninety-one thousand, eight hundred and forty eyes?" Floyd | Floyd | "What?" you remark, looking up from the pamphlet. "Are you kidding me? Floyd | How could you figure that out?" Floyd | Floyd | "Don't rightly know. Just something I do. Same way as I know there's Floyd | 69,105 railroad ties between here and Muskogee. Ma said I was some Floyd | kind of idiot savage." Floyd | Floyd | Dumbfounded, you stop reading halfway through the pamphlet to stare Floyd | incredulously at Muddy, who picks his nose. "Yeah, go on. What else's Floyd | it say?" Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "read it" | ||||
Floyd | You straighten out the pamphlet and skim it, paraphrasing for Muddy. Floyd | Floyd | "Well let's see. It keeps going on like that for a ways without really Floyd | saying much. By and by there's this part about a revival meeting. Some Floyd | kind of doxology works, but out in the open, like under a circus tent. Floyd | It says they'll be some preaching, some healing and even some dancing. Floyd | I'd allow it sounds like a right pleasant shindig, it do." Floyd | Floyd | Muddy pauses. "Can I see that pamphlet a minute?" asks Muddy Floyd | Floyd | "Ain't you gonna ask me about my plan?" Muddy whispers. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy scrapes some dust off his boots. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky asks, "wait, he said he had a plan?" | |||
| Benjor exclaims, "ooh! a missing period!" | ||||
| dhakajack says, "Like the cylons, but better." | ||||
| Gerynar arrives, full of fun and funk. | Roger says, "No, I'm going to ask you about your breasts." | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "give pamphlet to muddy" | ||||
Floyd | Muddy grabs it from you, squinting and sounding out words silently Floyd | with his mouth. His eyes open wide in amazement. Floyd | Floyd | "Pete? Wait a gosh darn... PASTOR Pete? That really him? Hot diggity!" Floyd | Floyd | Muddy jumps to his feet, runs to the bench and shakes Pete wildly; Floyd | Pete screams and throws his hands into the air, gesticulating to Floyd | heaven as he's awoken from his dream -- Floyd | Floyd | "BEGONE, daemons! The Prince of Piety shall SMITE thee! He who brushes Floyd | the Celestial Cavalier's horses shall not clean the stables of Floyd | PARADISE!" Floyd | Floyd | The grubby preacher collapses back on the bench, eyes closed and Floyd | snoring before either of you can take a step. Floyd | Floyd | "This time my plan is surefire -- go ahead, ask me. C'mon." Muddy Floyd | jibes quietly. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "ask muddy about pastor" | ||||
Floyd | There ain't no reply. Floyd | Floyd | "Ain't you even a speck curious to ask me about my plan?" taunts Floyd | Muddy. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy tugs down on his vest, which had ridden up a bit. Floyd | Floyd | > | Benjor opens the IDE to fix | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "ask muddy about pastor pete" | ||||
Floyd | Muddy replies, "Seems mostly harmless." Floyd | Floyd | "Truthful, Rick," whispers Muddy solemnly, "this ain't like all my Floyd | other plans, this one is iron-clad. Ask me about it. Go ahead." Floyd | Floyd | Over in the office, the deputy looks tired. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "muddy, count bricks" | ||||
Floyd | You can ASK someone ABOUT something or SHOW something TO someone. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy vibrates with excitement and gushes, "I got to tell you, Rick, Floyd | or this new plan of mine is going to drive me plumb crazy!" Floyd | Floyd | "Let's keep this between us, though," he whispers. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy leans towards you, his face barely an inch from your ear and his Floyd | buzzard-worthy breath even less so from your nose. "Okay, Rick, I'm Floyd | a-going to tell you my plan." Muddy pauses dramatically. "Here it is: Floyd | we got to break out of this jail before we get strunged up." Floyd | Floyd | "That's it? That's your whole damn plan? That don't count as no plan!" Floyd | you fume. Floyd | Floyd | "Keep it down, Rick!" Muddy's gaze darts over to your third cellmate. Floyd | "Yeah, that's it for now. It takes time to cook up a good plan. You Floyd | need lots of ingredients." Floyd | Floyd | "Muddy Charlie," you retort, "I heared you was the worst cook in the Floyd | Confederate Army. Your cooking like as did more damage than Sherman's Floyd | March." Floyd | Floyd | Muddy gives you a hurt look and sulks in the corner. After a while, Floyd | you regret being so quick-tempered with your old buddy. Floyd | Floyd | > | Roger says, "This sorta reminds me in tone of O Brother Where Art Thou so far (in a good way)" | |||
| inky says, "ha ha" | ||||
| Nitku says (to Floyd), "search pastor" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "read bronze plate" | ||||
Floyd | You find a tin of chewing tobacco. It looks interesting, so you borrow Floyd | it. Floyd | Floyd | > Floyd | You read aloud the engraving on the bronze plate: "Donated to the Floyd | Crawdad's Gulch Municipal Hoosegow by the Gunslinger's Widows Floyd | Association, Chapter Forty-One." Floyd | Floyd | Muddy shakes his head, "They sure are an upstanding organization." Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Benjor exclaims, "Cool, I'm watching the Svn Corporation Meeting vote to dissolve the corporation. Hooray!" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x tin" | ||||
Floyd | A rectangular tin of "Spitting Image" chewing tobacco. The cover shows Floyd | a cowboy painting a portrait of an Indian, and true to its name, the Floyd | image on the canvas looks just like the Indian. The tin is closed. Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete throws his head back, howls, and stands on the bench. He Floyd | screams, "The ENVELOPE of KNOWLEDGE is sealed with the WAX of PRIDE Floyd | and impressed by the unwieldy RING of TWISTED ASPIRATIONS, but did Floyd | anyone remember to put the LETTER of CIVILITY in the envelope? Does Floyd | the envelope bear the STAMP of HUMILITY, or is it sent cash on Floyd | delivery? Shall it thusly come to pass that FATE arrives one day in Floyd | our letter boxes, and we find ourselves searching and shuffling Floyd | through piles and piles of ADVERTISING, only to find a bill for a life Floyd | of sinfulness? No! Not if we are quick-witted and change our addresses Floyd | or even our names, and leave no forwarding instructions and nail shut Floyd | our letter box, and saw it down, and cast it in a tall VOLCANO and Floyd | watch it sink into the sulfurous lava. Yea! That might just work!" Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete faints onto the bench and resumes snoring without missing Floyd | a beat. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Benjor says, "Subversion has joined the Apache Software Foundation, no more silly nonprofit nonsense for us." | maga says, "yay Pastor Pete" | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "open tin" | ||||
Floyd | You open the tin, revealing a wad of tobacco. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "search pastor" | ||||
Floyd | You don't find anything that Pastor Pete wasn't born with. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy looks like he's about to have a great idea, but then goes back Floyd | to staring at the floor. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "ha ha" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "search tobacco" | ||||
Floyd | You don't find nothing at all. Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete curls up into a ball, muttering to himself. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "l" | ||||
Floyd | Jail Cell Floyd | The small jail cell is brick on three sides, metal bars on the other, Floyd | with a tightly locked gate. A small window is set into the brickwork Floyd | above your head. Through the jail bars you can see the sheriff's Floyd | office. Floyd | Floyd | A broken stool lies on the floor. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy leans against the wall tapping a harmonica on his arm. Floyd | Floyd | In the corner of the cell, a disheveled man in a black suit is Floyd | stretched out on a crude wooden bench and is snoring loudly, oblivious Floyd | to your presence. Floyd | Floyd | A dented food bowl sits on the office floor, only a few feet from the Floyd | jail bars. Floyd | Floyd | In the office you can also see the deputy. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Nitku says (to Floyd), "chew tobacco" | ||||
Floyd | (first sticking some in your maw) Floyd | The tobacco is getting juicy and soft. Floyd | Floyd | > | Benjor asks, "Is inky the only one driving?" | |||
| Jacqueline asks, "So, which one of you had sufficient childhood religious trauma as to be able to craft Pastor Pete off the top of your head?" | ||||
| inky says, "goodness no" | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "Ask deputy about stool" | ||||
Floyd | The deputy looks annoyed, but says, "Yeah, go ahead, try it out." Floyd | Floyd | Muddy rubs up and down against the brick wall, scratching an itch. Floyd | Floyd | > | Benjor stares at Jack | |||
| Jacqueline says, "heh" | ||||
| Benjor was my idea, but Jack's words | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x wall" | ||||
Floyd | The jailhouse walls are made of brightly painted white bricks. The Floyd | bricks still smell like fresh paint. Floyd | Floyd | > | Benjor says, "er, pete." | |||
| maga asks, "where's that Pastor Character sketch, again?" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x bricks" | ||||
Floyd | The jailhouse walls are made of brightly painted white bricks. The Floyd | bricks still smell like fresh paint. Floyd | Floyd | > | dhakajack says, "I can't say I was drawing on any particular experience" | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x stool" | ||||
Floyd | A small stool, with legs a couple of feet long. It's three-legged by Floyd | design, but two-legged in practice, hence its inability to stand Floyd | upright. There's an empty socket where the third leg should be. All Floyd | of the paint has been worn off the seat by your illustrious Floyd | predecessors who inhabited this cell. Those same occupants carved Floyd | every square inch of the stool's seat with their initials (and the Floyd | initials look intriguing!) A small bronze plate has been nailed to Floyd | the bottom of the stool. Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete curls up into a ball, muttering to himself. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "touch bricks" | ||||
Floyd | The walls feel rough and a little bit powdery. Floyd | Floyd | In the office, the deputy pokes his head out of the office and yells Floyd | at some passersby. Floyd | Floyd | > | Jacqueline says, "Well, I haven't typed anything because everyone's going just a touch faster than I can read, but I'm keeping up mostly okay and just takin' it all in." | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x bench" | ||||
Floyd | A long wooden bench made of rough, splintery planks. Under the bench, Floyd | you notice a piece of questionable meat, a spoon and a metallic can. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy pats down his wild hair but only makes it worse. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "ha ha" | |||
| inky says, "uh-oh, the game is giving her an accent" | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "question meat" | ||||
Floyd | That ain't no verb I got knowledge of. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take meat, spoon, can" | ||||
Floyd | meat: Yuck. You are holding the rancid meat. Floyd | Floyd | Fetched. Floyd | Floyd | spoon: Fetched. Floyd | Floyd | can of beans: Fetched. Floyd | Floyd | A cockroach scuttles by, making a detour around Muddy. Cockroaches Floyd | have noses, you figure (not that you smell all that flowery neither). Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "take cockroad" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't able to see no such thing. Floyd | Floyd | > | maga says, "('which weighs more - the Bah-ble or the Bagmahagdavita?')" | |||
| Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "take cockroach" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't able to see no such thing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x can" | ||||
Floyd | A closed metal can labeled "BEANS". On the back, some fine print says, Floyd | "Precooked beans. No claim is made regarding the cardioprotective Floyd | nature of this product. May cause abdominal distension if ingested. No Floyd | fitness of purpose is implied. No warranty is provided for personal or Floyd | other injury, or injury or loss related directly or indirectly to the Floyd | use of this product. By opening this can, you agree to the terms of Floyd | service posted in town." Floyd | Floyd | Muddy rubs his eyes, "I didn't get a good night's sleep last night Floyd | either. I'm bushed." Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "smell paint" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't able to see no such thing. Floyd | Floyd | > | Jacqueline says, "Aw - it's a Fire Tower kind of cockroach." | |||
| Nitku says (to Floyd), "i" | ||||
Floyd | You're carrying a can of beans, a spoon, a hunk of meat, a tin, a Floyd | pamphlet, your pocketwatch, and a scrap of paper. You are wearing your Floyd | hat, pants, overcoat, left boot, and right boot. Floyd | Floyd | > | zarf says, "'No claim is made regarding the cardioprotective nature of this product' is my favorite line" | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "ask jimbo about padlock" | ||||
Floyd | There ain't no reply. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy cracks his knuckles loudly. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Ellison arrives, ready to play with the toys. | DavidW says, "I didn't know Microsoft had a brand of beans." | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x spoon" | ||||
Floyd | A bent old spoon. Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete bounces from wall to wall. He exclaims, "The ENVELOPE of Floyd | KNOWLEDGE is sealed with the WAX of PRIDE and impressed by the Floyd | unwieldy RING of TWISTED ASPIRATIONS, but did anyone remember to put Floyd | the LETTER of CIVILITY in the envelope? Does the envelope bear the Floyd | STAMP of HUMILITY, or is it sent cash on delivery? Shall it thusly Floyd | come to pass that FATE arrives one day in our letter boxes, and we Floyd | find ourselves searching and shuffling through piles and piles of Floyd | ADVERTISING, only to find a bill for a life of sinfulness? No! Not if Floyd | we are quick-witted and change our addresses or even our names, and Floyd | leave no forwarding instructions and nail shut our letter box, and saw Floyd | it down, and cast it in a tall VOLCANO and watch it sink into the Floyd | sulfurous lava. Yea! That might just work!" Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete falls onto the bench and falls back to sleep immediately. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Nitku says (to Floyd), "wake pete" | ||||
Floyd | Floyd | Suddenly, Pastor Pete leaps up and rants, "The desires of an earthly Floyd | PRINCE are met not by gold or myrrh or power over his enemies, but by Floyd | HERRING. Salted, preserved herring from a can. Kippered Herring. Floyd | Sweet, sweet, kippered herring. Who could desire more? Indeed, after a Floyd | few, who could desire more KIPPERED herring, at least for a little Floyd | while, having filled up on the first tin of them? They're indeed Floyd | salty, harmless to you and me, but for a SLUG or snail, lethal. This Floyd | is part of the divine wisdom, and why herrings live in the sea (prior Floyd | to being canned) and slugs do not (and are, therefore, unlikely to be Floyd | canned). To argue with this is sheer madness". He then collapses on Floyd | the bench again and falls fast asleep. Floyd | Floyd | Over in the office, the sheriff's invention ticks like a clock. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "ask jimbo about invention" | ||||
Floyd | The deputy looks annoyed, but says, "Sheriff Cheney done rigged up Floyd | that machine and the steam whistle, both of them run off that steam Floyd | boiler stove. Near as I can tell, the machine makes coffee, but oh, Floyd | what fine coffee it do make. I can't as much as figure, though, how Floyd | he's paying for all the inventing he does. Well, I guess sheriffs is Floyd | paid more than deputies is." Floyd | Floyd | Halfway between the door to the outside and your jail cell, the boiler Floyd | rumbles for a moment and then stops. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x stove" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't able to see no such thing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Nitku says (to Floyd), "sit on stool" | ||||
Floyd | The deputy folds down the warrant he is reading and smiles Floyd | encouragingly, "Please, go ahead. The stool is stronger than it Floyd | looks." Floyd | Floyd | You carefully climb onto the precariously balanced two-legged stool Floyd | and subsequently find yourself face down on the dusty jail floor. Floyd | Muddy helps you up and brushes you off. Floyd | Floyd | The deputy laughs himself hoarse. "I declare, that were powerful Floyd | entertaining!" The deputy continues to chuckle to himself, even as he Floyd | turns back to his newspaper, "I said, please go ahead, and he sits on Floyd | it. That were rich. Maybe he'll try again." Floyd | Floyd | On the other side of the jail bars in the office, the deputy watches Floyd | you with a bored expression. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "he's a mercurial guy" | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x boiler" | ||||
Floyd | Midway between the jail cell and the door to the sheriff's office Floyd | stands a pot-bellied inferno. Through a small grate on its front, you Floyd | can see flames burning within. Above the combustion chamber, there is Floyd | a round, rivet-studded ball, which in turn leads into a junction. One Floyd | pipe runs sideways to the bronze machine behind the desk, while the Floyd | main pipe runs straight up through the roof. There is a lever at the Floyd | junction which looks like it could swing either towards the front door Floyd | or towards the rear of the office. Right now, it is nearer to neither Floyd | position. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x newspaper" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't able to see no such thing. | inky says, "dang" | |||
Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x warrant" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't able to see no such thing. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says, "We have an embarassment of items to examine." | |||
| Ellison has disconnected. | ||||
| Ellison has connected. | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x dish" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't able to see no such thing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Ellison gets bored and wanders off to the Toyshop. | ||||
| Ellison arrives, ready to play with the toys. | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x bowl" | ||||
Floyd | A beat-up mining pan full of dents and scratch marks. The bowl seems Floyd | to be nailed (yes, nailed!) to the office floor. Floyd | Floyd | > | dhakajack says, "When you only have one room -- that room better have some toys." | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "ask deputy about bowl" | ||||
Floyd | There ain't no reply. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x lever" | ||||
Floyd | A swinging metal arm that pivots on the pipe junction. The arm can Floyd | swing towards either the door or the back of the office. Right now, it Floyd | is nearer to neither position. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy burps loudly and remarks, "Oh, that's much better." Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "push lever" | ||||
Floyd | You can reach through the bars, but not far enough to touch the lever. Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete froths at the mouth. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "i" | ||||
Floyd | You're carrying a can of beans, a spoon, a hunk of meat, a tin, a Floyd | pamphlet, your pocketwatch, and a scrap of paper. You are wearing your Floyd | hat, pants, overcoat, left boot, and right boot. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "throw tin at lever" | ||||
Floyd | Your throwing arm ain't been any good since the accident with the musk Floyd | ox and the hedge clippers. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "ha ha" | |||
| inky says, "those aren't period!" | ||||
| DavidW says, "Muddy can probably throw." | ||||
| Jacqueline says, "YAY MUSK OXEN" | ||||
| Nitku says (to Floyd), "x watch" | ||||
Floyd | It's the wind-up timepiece you received when you were commissioned as Floyd | an officer in the Confederate Army. It is some small consolation that Floyd | your jailers were so incompetent as to overlook your one treasure. It Floyd | currently reads three minutes past eight in the evening -- less than Floyd | twelve hours until you and Muddy are looking all so peaceful and Floyd | serene. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy strokes his whiskers. Floyd | Floyd | > | dhakajack says, "hedge clippers meant something else back then..." | |||
| Benjor says, "lol" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "muddy, throw tin at lever" | ||||
Floyd | You can ASK someone ABOUT something or SHOW something TO someone. Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete rolls back and forth on the bench. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "ask muddy about lever" | ||||
Floyd | Muddy replies, "I don't rightly know." Floyd | Floyd | Muddy rocks back and forth on the balls of his feet. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "give tin to muddy" | ||||
Floyd | Muddy glances at the tin and says, "I ain't got no idea what I'd do Floyd | with a tin. No thanks." Floyd | Floyd | Over in the office, the deputy inspects his LeMat revolver lovingly. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "he doesn't seem big on taking orders" | |||
| inky says, "(unlike pastor pete)" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x window" | ||||
Floyd | Pretty far up on the wall, as wide as your shoulders, and secured by Floyd | four vertical iron rods as thick as your thumb. And you have thick Floyd | thumbs. The green tip of a vine pokes in from outside and lies on the Floyd | narrow window sill. Floyd | Floyd | On the other side of the jail bars in the office, the deputy peeks Floyd | through the jail cell window at the saloon across the street. It's Floyd | clear he'd rather be there. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "oho" | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x vine" | ||||
Floyd | Only the leafless tip of a wiry vine pokes into the cell through the Floyd | window. Floyd | Floyd | Over in the office, the deputy warms his hands near the boiler. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "pull vine" | ||||
Floyd | You yank on the wiry vine and it yanks back. It's too tough to break Floyd | off. From outside the window, you hear the bulk of the plant rustling Floyd | as it swings back and forth. Floyd | Floyd | In the office, the deputy repeatedly counts his fingers, but is unable Floyd | to get a firm answer. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "pull vine" | ||||
Floyd | You yank on the wiry vine and it yanks back. It's too tough to break Floyd | off. From outside the window, you hear the bulk of the plant rustling Floyd | as it swings back and forth. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "hmm, interesting" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "tie vine to can" | ||||
Floyd | You would achieve nothing by this. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x meat" | ||||
Floyd | The deputy has been watching you and he smiles sardonically. "I see Floyd | you found your dinner. Or was that last week's dinner? Har, har!" Floyd | Floyd | You are distracted by his comment and forget what you were doing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put meat in bowl" | ||||
Floyd | You can reach through the bars, but not far enough to touch the food Floyd | bowl. Floyd | Floyd | Back in the office, the deputy makes you nervous as he waves his gun Floyd | back and forth, jerking the barrel up and shaping the words "Pow! Floyd | Pow!" with his lips. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "ask deputy about saloon" | ||||
Floyd | The deputy looks annoyed, but says, "I get my best work done there." Floyd | Floyd | Muddy seems lost in thought. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x left boot" | ||||
Floyd | A cowhide boot that has been rubbed smooth. The heel is worn-down, and Floyd | the spurs have broken clear off. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x right boot" | ||||
Floyd | A cowhide boot that has been rubbed smooth. A metal riding spur is Floyd | about ready to fall off the worn-down heel. Floyd | Floyd | Over in the office, the bronze machine ticks like a clock. Floyd | Floyd | > | zarf asks, "did oyu examine the vine?" | |||
| DavidW says, "I think we only pulled it." | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x vine" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x vine" | ||||
Floyd | Only the leafless tip of a wiry vine pokes into the cell through the Floyd | window. Floyd | Floyd | In the office, the deputy pokes his head out of the office and yells Floyd | at some passersby. Floyd | Floyd | > Floyd | Only the leafless tip of a wiry vine pokes into the cell through the Floyd | window. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy spends some time looking over at the machine in the office. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "oops" | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "get spur" | ||||
Floyd | You yank the spur off your right boot, careful not to cut yourself in Floyd | the process. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "cut vine with spur" | ||||
Floyd | That don't work none. What kind of crazy talk is you up to? Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "ha ha" | |||
| Jacqueline says, "heh" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "give spur to muddy" | ||||
Floyd | Muddy glances at the spur and says, "I ain't got no idea what I'd do Floyd | with a spur. No thanks." Floyd | Floyd | Just to the side of the desk, the boiler gurgles and bubbles quietly. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW asks, "Maybe open the can of beans with it?" | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "open beans with spur" | ||||
Floyd | Muddy cranes his neck to see what you're doing. He's never seen Floyd | someone open a can with heel spurs. You slide the spur into the groove Floyd | along the top of the can, and wiggle it back and forth. The can Floyd | revolves, and the lid is nearly sawn off. It is hard to tell which of Floyd | you is more surprised that this worked. Floyd | Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by five] Floyd | Floyd | Over in the office, the deputy sniffles loudly and wipes his nose on Floyd | his sleeve. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "excellent" | |||
| Benjor says, "Jack really likes playing with default messages..." | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x lid" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't able to see no such thing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "i" | ||||
Floyd | You're carrying a spur, a can of beans, a spoon, a hunk of meat, a Floyd | tin, a pamphlet, your pocketwatch, and a scrap of paper. You are Floyd | wearing your hat, pants, overcoat, left boot, and right boot. Floyd | Floyd | On the other side of the jail bars in the office, the deputy inspects Floyd | his LeMat revolver lovingly. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x beans" | ||||
Floyd | An open metal can labeled "BEANS". The can is full of plump, Floyd | glistening, little beans. On the back, some fine print says, Floyd | "Precooked beans. No claim is made regarding the cardioprotective Floyd | nature of this product. May cause abdominal distension if ingested. No Floyd | fitness of purpose is implied. No warranty is provided for personal or Floyd | other injury, or injury or loss related directly or indirectly to the Floyd | use of this product. By opening this can, you agree to the terms of Floyd | service posted in town." Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete sits bolt upright, howls at the moon, and flips back over, Floyd | fast asleep. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "eat beans" | Benjor exclaims, "ooh, we can't see the score!" | |||
Floyd | When you were a child, you remember visiting your cousins, who all Floyd | liked beans. Your aunt insisted that if they could eat beans, so could Floyd | you. You choked on them, and coughed them up, and they made fun of Floyd | you. Since then, you don't even like the way they smell. The beans, Floyd | that is. Actually, your cousins are kind of rank too. Floyd | Floyd | Nonetheless, your stomach is growling and you could do with a meal. Floyd | Floyd | [You have dealt with a repressed childhood memory in a constructive Floyd | manner, your score just went up by two points] Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete pedals the air with his feet, while making sounds like a Floyd | ringing bell. Floyd | Floyd | > | Benjor exclaims, "no status line!" | |||
| inky says, "ha ha" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "undo" | ||||
Floyd | jail cell Floyd | You done backtracked some. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "score" | ||||
Floyd | You have so far scored 5 out of a possible 24, in 74 turns. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Benjor excellent. | Benjor needs to stop using irc commands in ifmud | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "pull bars" | ||||
Floyd | The deputy looks up from the warrant, annoyed at the distraction. Floyd | "Them jail bars is solid iron, boys. Now stop messing with them. I Floyd | would surely hate to have to shoot you tonight and ruin tomorrow's Floyd | hanging." Floyd | Floyd | > | Jacqueline says, "eep" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "look in can" | ||||
Floyd | The can of beans is empty. Floyd | Floyd | Over in the office, the deputy warms his hands near the boiler. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "ask deputy about coffee" | ||||
Floyd | The deputy looks annoyed, but says, "Nothing is as good as the coffee Floyd | that comes out of the sheriff's machine." Floyd | Floyd | Muddy looks around the sheriff's office. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "ask deputy about machine" | ||||
Floyd | The deputy looks annoyed, but says, "Sheriff Cheney done rigged up Floyd | that machine and the steam whistle, both of them run off that steam Floyd | boiler stove. Near as I can tell, the machine makes coffee, but oh, Floyd | what fine coffee it do make. I can't as much as figure, though, how Floyd | he's paying for all the inventing he does. Well, I guess sheriffs is Floyd | paid more than deputies is." Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete spins in the air. He yells, "The SUN ariseth, the MOON Floyd | setteth and the leaves, they do in a chaotic manner blow themselves Floyd | around and around, presuming it is the time of the year for them to do Floyd | so, and that the weather has cooperated. The latter pertaining to the Floyd | leaves, and not so much to the sun and moon, which are independent of Floyd | the WEATHER, except in so far as being observable only when the Floyd | weather permits. So, it seems that the weather itself is somewhat a Floyd | culprit in these matters, but what will a brisk rainstorm do against Floyd | the fiery, hot flames of eternal damnation? STEAM. Yes, steam. Because Floyd | it's not so much the heat, it's the HUMIDITY. Back on your heads, my Floyd | lads!" Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete crumples onto the bench and is soon lost in dreams again. Floyd | Floyd | > | Benjor exclaims, "nice job opening the beans!" | |||
| inky says, "DavidW is good like that" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "l" | ||||
Floyd | Jail Cell Floyd | The small jail cell is brick on three sides, metal bars on the other, Floyd | with a tightly locked gate. A small window is set into the brickwork Floyd | above your head. Through the jail bars you can see the sheriff's Floyd | office. Floyd | Floyd | A broken stool lies on the floor. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy leans against the wall tapping a harmonica on his arm. Floyd | Floyd | In the corner of the cell, a disheveled man in a black suit is Floyd | stretched out on a crude wooden bench and is snoring loudly, oblivious Floyd | to your presence. Floyd | Floyd | A dented food bowl sits on the office floor, only a few feet from the Floyd | jail bars. Floyd | Floyd | In the office you can also see the deputy. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says, "I'm not sure what it gained us, though, except we have an empty can." | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "put beans in bowl" | ||||
Floyd | You can reach through the bars, but not far enough to touch the food Floyd | bowl. Floyd | Floyd | > | Benjor asks, "empty?" | |||
| DavidW asks, "Didn't we eat the beans?" | ||||
| Nitku says (to Floyd), "?look in ca" | ||||
Floyd | That ain't no verb I got knowledge of. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "I think I undid" | |||
| Nitku says (to Floyd), "look in can" | ||||
Floyd | The can of beans is empty. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "oh, I guess not" | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "eat beans" | ||||
Floyd | When you were a child, you remember visiting your cousins, who all Floyd | liked beans. Your aunt insisted that if they could eat beans, so could Floyd | you. You choked on them, and coughed them up, and they made fun of Floyd | you. Since then, you don't even like the way they smell. The beans, Floyd | that is. Actually, your cousins are kind of rank too. Floyd | Floyd | Nonetheless, your stomach is growling and you could do with a meal. Floyd | Floyd | [You have dealt with a repressed childhood memory in a constructive Floyd | manner, your score just went up by two points] Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "undo" | ||||
Floyd | jail cell Floyd | You done backtracked some. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "oh, just bad messaging" | |||
| DavidW says, "whoops." | ||||
| DavidW says, "I was lied to!" | ||||
| Benjor asks (of Jack?), "What's up?" | ||||
| Jacqueline says, "haha" | ||||
| dhakajack says, "hmm. Not sure what happened there." | ||||
| Benjor says, "looks like a bug" | ||||
| Benjor says, "they shouldn't be empty" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put can in socket" | ||||
Floyd | Putting the can of beans into the socket don't make a lick of sense. Floyd | Not likely to fit well anyway. Floyd | Floyd | Not far from your jail cell, the metal contraption puffs some steam Floyd | into the office. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x ceiling" | ||||
Floyd | The stucco jailhouse ceiling is too high to touch. Floyd | Floyd | Outside, there is a brief cloudburst. The wind comes right behind the Floyd | rain. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "usual thing about liquids and containers, I imagine" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "stand on bench" | ||||
Floyd | You can't! A pastor is passed out on it. There's no room for you. Floyd | Floyd | In the office, the deputy looks tired. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "look under bench" | ||||
Floyd | You peek under the bench but don't find anything new. Floyd | Floyd | Back in the office, the deputy stares at Muddy. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "push pastor" | ||||
Floyd | Floyd | Suddenly, Pastor Pete leaps up and rants, "The KING of RETRIBUTION Floyd | pales in the actinic flame of REVENGE as the knife cuts through a Floyd | length of string: not unlike the string which wraps a package, Floyd | severing the string not into many pieces, but presuming it is simply Floyd | wrapped once around the package, into a single, long piece (likely Floyd | with a knot, the knot being required to secure the package and BIND it Floyd | to its purpose). And yet, consider, gentlefolk, that the package may Floyd | be wrapped many, many times with twine. Ah, yes, you hadn't considered Floyd | that, had you? Thick, difficult-to-cut twine, or even worse, tape or Floyd | glue. FOR MANY ARE THE STATIONERY ITEMS OF HIS MOST ORNAMENTED Floyd | PULCHRITUDE! AND DEEP ARE THE DRAWERS OF HIS WRITING DESK! AND NOT Floyd | LACKING IN THE LEAST SUPPLY IS HE. Thus, sayeth the worker who labors Floyd | at the post: cut once, measure many times. Enlightenment only comes to Floyd | those to whom it is addressed and properly stamped". He then collapses Floyd | on the bench again and falls fast asleep. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "deputy, make coffee" | ||||
Floyd | You can reach through the bars, but not far enough to touch <illegal Floyd | object number 302>. Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete murmurs repeatedly, "Kippered herring, please! Kippered Floyd | herring, please! Kippered herring, please!" Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "whoah dang" | |||
| dhakajack says, "ZOMG. That's a new one." | ||||
| DavidW says, "You can't touch <that>!" | ||||
| inky says, "ha ha" | ||||
| Benjor exclaims, "dang!" | ||||
| dhakajack says, "The issue tracker is going to be busy tonight..." | ||||
| Nitku says, "Makes sense that the deputy would have it, if it's illegal" | ||||
| Crispy says (to floyd), "x watch" | ||||
Floyd | It's the wind-up timepiece you received when you were commissioned as Floyd | an officer in the Confederate Army. It currently reads twenty-four Floyd | minutes to nine in the evening -- less than twelve hours until you Floyd | and Muddy are daid. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "wind watch" | ||||
Floyd | That ain't no verb I got knowledge of. Floyd | Floyd | > | Roger says (to dhaka), "I'm amusing myself by imagining by that you mean, of course, your wife." | |||
| inky says, "anyway, I am assuming the overall solution involves exploding the boiler or something" | ||||
| inky says, "I can't figure out how to get the deputy to use it, though" | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "give beans to muddy" | ||||
Floyd | Muddy takes the can and stares hungrily at the beans. Floyd | Floyd | Even in the most dire situation, Muddy's appetite remains intact. He Floyd | looks expectantly at you and says, "Rick, got a spoon?" Floyd | Floyd | Muddy rubs his belly and says, "I reckon I could do with a snack right Floyd | about now." Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "give spoon to muddy" | ||||
Floyd | Muddy cracks a gap-toothed smile and says, "Much obliged," before Floyd | digging into the can of beans like a miner hot on a fresh gold vein. A Floyd | couple moments later, he finishes circling the inside of the can with Floyd | the spoon, trying to get every last drop of bean juice into his mouth. Floyd | Afterwards, he places the can and spoon on the floor and rubs his Floyd | stomach with satisfaction. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy has an aura of well-fed contentment. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says, "root-a-toot-toot" | |||
| Roger says (to floyd), "break stool" | ||||
Floyd | You reckon violence usually is the answer, but maybe not just now. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy holds his belly and comments, "Got a bit of indigestion, I Floyd | does." Floyd | Floyd | > | Nitku says, "Now we missed the 2 points from trying to eat the beans" | |||
| Jacqueline says (to David), "Classy" | ||||
| Jacqueline says (to Nitku), "Hm, true." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Jacqueline), "Beans, beans, the magical fruit." | ||||
| Jacqueline asks, "Why don't we get two points for being nice to our friend?" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "z" | ||||
Floyd | Time passes. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy wraps his arms around his belly, and moans softly, "I might have Floyd | overdone it with them beans." Floyd | Floyd | The deputy looks up from his reading, curious. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "z" | ||||
Floyd | Time passes. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy doubles over, "Rick, you should get to high ground. I'm feeling Floyd | a mite bloated after them beans, and I think you know what's coming!" Floyd | Floyd | "Where the Sam Hill do you think I'm going to run to, Muddy? We're Floyd | locked up in a hoosegow! Deputy, if'n I was you, I would put some Floyd | distance between Muddy and your nose. " Floyd | Floyd | The Deputy looks concerned, but confused. Floyd | Floyd | > | Jacqueline pats DavidW on the arm. "Like I said... Classy." | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "z" | ||||
Floyd | Time passes. Floyd | Floyd | You hear nothing. The smell nearly knocks you out. Vision fades, the Floyd | room spins. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy whispers in that understated manner of his, "That were a silent Floyd | but deadly." Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "dang" | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x deputy" | ||||
Floyd | Big and strong, but lacking numerically in ancestors. Floyd | Floyd | Suppressing the urge to throw up from the smell, the deputy reaches Floyd | over to the whiskey bottle and half drains it on his way out the door. Floyd | Floyd | The fragrance gradually improves as the universe cools. Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one] Floyd | Floyd | Muddy picks some food from between his teeth. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Roger says, "Huzzah" | inky says, "hmm" | |||
| DavidW says, "buh-bye, deputy" | ||||
| inky says, "so the adding score before was kind of a mislead" | ||||
| inky says, "unless it makes us fart instead or something" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "l" | ||||
Floyd | Jail Cell Floyd | The small jail cell is brick on three sides, metal bars on the other, Floyd | with a tightly locked gate. A small window is set into the brickwork Floyd | above your head. Through the jail bars you can see the sheriff's Floyd | office. Floyd | Floyd | A broken stool lies on the floor. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy leans against the wall tapping a harmonica on his arm. Floyd | Floyd | In the corner of the cell, a disheveled man in a black suit is Floyd | stretched out on a crude wooden bench and is snoring loudly, oblivious Floyd | to your presence. Floyd | Floyd | You can also see an empty can (in which is a spoon) here. Floyd | Floyd | A dented food bowl sits on the office floor, only a few feet from the Floyd | jail bars. Floyd | Floyd | > | Benjor says (to inky), "on a retry, try eating the beans many times." | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "pull vine" | ||||
Floyd | You yank on the wiry vine and it yanks back. It's too tough to break Floyd | off. From outside the window, you hear the bulk of the plant rustling Floyd | as it swings back and forth. Floyd | Floyd | Halfway between the door to the outside and your jail cell, the Floyd | sheriff's invention percolates. Floyd | Floyd | The deputy pokes his head back in the office and remarks, "I've about Floyd | had enough of you characters. You can stew in your own juices here. I Floyd | got important things to do over yonder in the saloon. But I reckon I Floyd | would be dairy licked to leave you jokers alone." Floyd | Floyd | The deputy grabs a dinner bell from the hook where it hangs next to Floyd | the office door, and he rings the bell slowly a few times. Nothing Floyd | happens. He rings it again. Minutes go by and the deputy waits Floyd | impatiently. Finally, a fat bloodhound waddles leisurely through the Floyd | doorway, tempted by the dinner bell. Floyd | Floyd | The deputy reaches into his pocket and retrieves a scrap of beef Floyd | jerky. He pitches it into the dog's bowl, and the bloodhound gobbles Floyd | it down. The deputy leads his mangy old dog towards the office's Floyd | strange-looking steam boiler and ties him to it with a leash. Floyd | Floyd | "This here's Flash, my hunting dog. I got to warn you that he can be Floyd | vicious when he gets riled up, so don't cross him." Flash slowly Floyd | slumps down next to the boiler, enjoying the heat. His heavy eyes Floyd | close, and drool drips from his toothless mouth. Floyd | Floyd | "Flash here's apt to rip your throat out if you so much as look at him Floyd | funny, but I got him hooked up here to the sheriff's fancy steam Floyd | contraption." The deputy narrows his eyes distrustfully. "If you boys Floyd | were so stupid as to make for the jailhouse door, 'ol Flash would yank Floyd | that lever and set off the steam whistle on the roof. The sheriff Floyd | installed it special for me, so as I can come when he wants me. I can Floyd | hear that halfway across town, and if'n I do hear it, then you'll have Floyd | to deal with me *and* Flash." The deputy gives Flash one last pat on Floyd | the head, swigs the whiskey one more time, and departs for the saloon. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "fcunning" | |||
| Nitku says, "I thought we didn't actually eat the beans when we tried that" | ||||
| inky asks, "oh, we didn't?" | ||||
| Nitku says, "We just said that we didn't like them" | ||||
| Roger says, "It's more of a rememberin than a reckonin, I reckon" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "give meat to flash" | ||||
Floyd | Flash don't seem interested. Floyd | Floyd | "That worked out well," says Muddy proudly. Floyd | Floyd | "For you maybe," you reply. "But I near to lost my lunch what with Floyd | that stench." Floyd | Floyd | To which Muddy counters, "Ain't much worse than your feet, I reckon." Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "put meat in bowl" | ||||
Floyd | You can reach through the bars, but not far enough to touch the food Floyd | bowl. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "throw meat into bowl" | ||||
Floyd | You can reach through the bars, but not far enough to touch the food Floyd | bowl. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "throw meat" | ||||
Floyd | Ditched. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "we got some short-type arms if you ask me" | |||
| Roger says, "YOU SUCK, VARMINT" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put tobacco on meat" | ||||
Floyd | You need to be holding the tobacco before you can put it on top of Floyd | something else. Floyd | Floyd | Not far from your jail cell, the metal contraption puffs some steam Floyd | into the office. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "take meat" | ||||
Floyd | Yuck. You are holding the rancid meat. Floyd | Floyd | Fetched. Floyd | Floyd | Halfway between the door to the outside and your jail cell, the Floyd | furnace creaks. Floyd | Floyd | > | Jacqueline asks (of inky), "We're a t-rex, didn't you know?" | |||
| Roger says (to floyd), "X bed" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't able to see no such thing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "dig wall with spoon" | ||||
Floyd | I only twigged your meaning as far as hankering to dig the walls. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "give meat to muddy" | ||||
Floyd | Muddy reaches eagerly, but stops just short of taking it. You've never Floyd | seen Muddy turn down food before, so you're not sure how this Floyd | experiment will work out. He sniffs it tentatively, hoping that the Floyd | smell will be better than the sight. His eyes cross and he staggers Floyd | backward, fanning the air and loosening his collar. "I think I'll Floyd | pass," he says weakly." Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "dig wall" | ||||
Floyd | That's crazy talk. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy scratches his leg. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "but that's a TINY bit awesome" | |||
| Benjor says, "ooh, another typo" | ||||
| Benjor fixes | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "stand on stool" | ||||
Floyd | You teeter momentarily on the stool and then topple face first into Floyd | the floor, like a blacksmith's hammer striking the anvil. This is Floyd | getting old real fast now. Floyd | > | DavidW says, "We need to fix the stool" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "i" | ||||
Floyd | You're carrying a hunk of meat, a spur, a tin, a pamphlet, your Floyd | pocketwatch, and a scrap of paper. You are wearing your hat, pants, Floyd | overcoat, left boot, and right boot. Floyd | Floyd | Flash shifts his tail by an inch. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x overcoat" | ||||
Floyd | The gray riding coat reminds you of past adventures with Muddy Floyd | Charlie: the speckled holes on the side where you caught a shotgun Floyd | blast when a bank transaction done gone awry, the hole on the other Floyd | side from the time you and Muddy got to fooling around with a bow, an Floyd | arrow, and a bottle of whiskey, and the charred, frayed edges of the Floyd | coat from the time you and Muddy were almost burnt as witches. Each Floyd | flaw in the garment reminds you of one of Muddy's plans, each of which Floyd | sounded so reasonable at the time.... Floyd | Floyd | Flash sneezes, but somehow he manages to do it slowly. Floyd | Floyd | > | Roger says, "Or completely destroy it, or both; not sure which yet" | |||
| Jacqueline says (to Benjoy), "You are a machine." | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "break stool" | ||||
Floyd | You reckon violence usually is the answer, but maybe not just now. Floyd | Floyd | > | Roger says, "slashfic in 3, 2, 1..." | |||
| Benjor says, "You guys are the best bug-testers ever. :-)" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x stool" | ||||
Floyd | A small stool, with legs a couple of feet long. It's three-legged by Floyd | design, but two-legged in practice, hence its inability to stand Floyd | upright. There's an empty socket where the third leg should be. All Floyd | of the paint has been worn off the seat by your illustrious Floyd | predecessors who inhabited this cell. Those same occupants carved Floyd | every square inch of the stool's seat with their initials (and the Floyd | initials look intriguing!) A small bronze plate has been nailed to Floyd | the bottom of the stool. Floyd | Floyd | A yellow-fringed surrey trots past the sheriff's office. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x surrey" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't able to see no such thing. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says (to inky), "I really think we need to put something in the stool's socket." | |||
| Roger says (to floyd), "x socket" | ||||
Floyd | Once upon a time, a stool leg about two feet long must have occupied Floyd | the now empty hole in the stool seat. Without that leg, the stool Floyd | isn't much good. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "take leg" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't able to see no such thing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x bars" | ||||
Floyd | You look across the street at the saloon. Oh wait, did you mean the Floyd | prison bars? Yeah, probably. Anyhow, the bars to your cell reach from Floyd | floor to ceiling and are made of matte black metal. All except one, Floyd | which is sort of gray in color and as short as a table leg. They are a Floyd | bit under an inch thick, and they are reinforced by three tiers of Floyd | horizontal bars. The gate to your cell is framed in the same black Floyd | metal and inset into this meshwork of bars. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x gray bar" | ||||
Floyd | The gray bar is just a shade lighter than the surrounding jail bars. Floyd | You notice that the gray bar is held to the ceiling by a screw the Floyd | size of a railroad spike. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky asks, "the only definition I see is carriage, but do carriages really trot?" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x screw" | ||||
Floyd | A large, rusty screw. It's holding a gray bar in place. Floyd | Floyd | > | Roger says, "okay what" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "unscrew it" | ||||
Floyd | Nothing obvious happens. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "unscrew it with spoon" | ||||
Floyd | I only twigged your meaning as far as hankering to unscrew the screw. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take screw" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "pull screw" | ||||
Floyd | The screw is too high for you to reach. Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete stares wide-eyed at the ceiling for a moment and then Floyd | falls back asleep. Floyd | Floyd | > Floyd | Nothing obvious happens. Floyd | Floyd | Flash has died. Wait. Sorry. He's just really immobile. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "unscrew gray bar" | ||||
Floyd | Nothing obvious happens. Floyd | Floyd | Flash has a nightmare and growls quietly before returning to a deep Floyd | slumber. Floyd | Floyd | > | dhakajack says, "surreys are pulled by horses. Transitively, surreys trot." | |||
| Jacqueline says, "haha" | ||||
| zarf says, "a surrey is a carriage. It's got horses attached. Trotting occurs in the vicinity." | ||||
| zarf says, "timing." | ||||
| Benjor loves flash | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "Muddy, hold stool" | ||||
Floyd | Muddy ain't having none of your balderdash. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy drums his fingers against the wall. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "I assume flash is also giving sermons, just in dog language" | |||
| (From dhakajack) Flash loves Benjor | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "stand on stool" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't gonna get onto the stool unless it stands solidly on three Floyd | good legs. Floyd | Floyd | Not far from your jail cell, the metal contraption gurgles and bubbles Floyd | quietly. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "remove boot" | ||||
Floyd | Which all do you mean, the left boot, or the right boot? Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "left" | ||||
Floyd | Oh, you really don't want to do that. Not indoors at least. Are you Floyd | sure? Floyd | Floyd | (yes or no) >> | inky says, "ha ha" | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "no" | ||||
Floyd | Muddy murmurs a prayer of thanks to whatever he sometimes prays to Floyd | when he's running away from something bigger or badder than he is. Floyd | Floyd | Halfway between the door to the outside and your jail cell, the Floyd | furnace hisses, venting some steam. Floyd | Floyd | > | Jacqueline says, "oh dear" | |||
| inky says, "perhaps that is an alternate solution to the beans thing" | ||||
| DavidW says, "ha ha" | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "X hat" | ||||
Floyd | An unusually capacious, wide-brimmed hat to protect you from the sun. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy counts the number of stars he can see out the window, divides by Floyd | the number of bars in the jail cell, and takes the natural logarithm. Floyd | "Yup," he says, "that's what I thought." Floyd | Floyd | > | Jacqueline asks, "Have we been using the save thing?" | |||
| Benjor hands a prize to inky | ||||
| inky says, "no" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "remote hat" | ||||
Floyd | That ain't no verb I got knowledge of. Floyd | Floyd | > | Jacqueline says, "I don't remember it being cleared, but perhaps I missed it." | |||
| Jacqueline clears the save counter. | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "remove hat" | ||||
Floyd | You take off the hat. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "ask muddy about stars" | ||||
| Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "SAVE" | ||||
| Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "cf1" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "look in hat" | ||||
Floyd | There ain't no reply. Floyd | Floyd | Flash starts to rub a flea but then decides it to be too much work. Floyd | Floyd | > Floyd | Enter saved game to store: Ok. Floyd | Floyd | > Floyd | Ten gallons of nothing. You sure could shove a lot of loot in there, Floyd | you reckon. Floyd | Floyd | Flash snores loudly, his jowls fluttering with each breath. Floyd | Floyd | > | Jacqueline says, "Now take off our boot!" | |||
| Benjor says, "Floyd says, "ooh, are we about to do something dangerous?"" | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "chew tobacco" | ||||
Floyd | It tastes pretty horrid. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "remove right boot" | ||||
Floyd | There are people within a thousand yards. Are you sure? Floyd | Floyd | (yes or no) >> | Jacqueline says, "haha" | |||
| Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "y" | ||||
Floyd | You rock back and forth on the floor, locked in a death struggle with Floyd | your foot. Beads of sweat form on your head, as you struggle to twist Floyd | and pull the boot off. With a sudden sucking pop, the boot relents and Floyd | you tumble backwards. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy's eyes water as he complains, "Ain't you got no sense of smell Floyd | in that head of yours?" Floyd | Floyd | To which you reply, "Not after I been downwind of you around feeding Floyd | time, nope. This ain't nothing next to what you can do with a can of Floyd | beans!" Floyd | Floyd | Flash wakes with a start and sneezes loudly. The fur on his back Floyd | bristles, and he opens his eyes to stare in horror at your feet. He Floyd | backs away, towards the front door. The leash pulls taut. He seems Floyd | caught in the balance between an urge to run away from your stinky Floyd | foot and his own laziness, which holds him to the spot. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "ha ha" | |||
| Roger exclaims, "the other one!" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "remove left boot" | ||||
Floyd | In some states that would be a felony. Are you sure? Floyd | Floyd | (yes or no) >> | Jacqueline says (to Roger), "Exactly!" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "yes" | ||||
Floyd | You rock back and forth on the floor, locked in a death struggle with Floyd | your foot. Beads of sweat form on your head, as you struggle to twist Floyd | and pull the boot off. With a sudden sucking pop, the boot relents and Floyd | you tumble backwards. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy's eyes water as he complains, "Not again! My poor nose!" Floyd | Floyd | One foot was bad enough, but two is more than the old dog can handle. Floyd | Trying not to sniff the air, Flash turns tail and breaks for the door, Floyd | straining against his leash, which is tied to the steam pipe lever. Floyd | The lever swings towards the door, and from the roof you hear the Floyd | ear-splitting drone of a railway steam whistle. Floyd | Floyd | You agree with Muddy that the deputy is not likely to be in a good Floyd | mood when he arrives, so you put your boots back on. Floyd | Floyd | > | Benjor says, "uhoh" | |||
| inky says, "we did save" | ||||
| Jacqueline says, "Well, that is why we saved." | ||||
| inky says, "I tghink" | ||||
| inky says, "-g" | ||||
| Jacqueline says, "Timing, yes." | ||||
| Roger says, "The pastor knows only THE LORD can save" | ||||
| Jacqueline says, "Even if he shoots us for that, it was totally worth it." | ||||
| Jacqueline says (to Roger), "ha" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put gray bar in socket" | ||||
Floyd | You flip the stool over and wiggle the hollow gray tube into the empty Floyd | socket. It fits perfectly and remains in place when you let go of the Floyd | bar, but you think you could yank the gray bar out again if you needed Floyd | it. You now have a stool with three even legs: two wood, one metal. Floyd | Floyd | The Deputy slams through the swinging doors to the office, lurching to Floyd | the side as he struggles to put his other leg into his pants. He is Floyd | bare-chested and empty-handed, aside from a nearly drained bottle of Floyd | whiskey. Floyd | Floyd | The deputy thunders, "What the cluster-chucking blazes is the matter Floyd | here?" The deputy surveys the office quickly and then rattles the gate Floyd | to make sure it is still locked. In his drunken rage, he doesn't Floyd | notice the missing metal bar. Floyd | Floyd | Satisfied that you haven't escaped, he pushes the lever back to the Floyd | middle position and warns, "I don't know what you were up to what made Floyd | old Flash trigger-happy, but don't let it happen again." Floyd | Floyd | "Dumb dog," he mumbles, "I was doing important business." The deputy Floyd | shakes his head in frustration and sets off again towards the door. Floyd | Floyd | > | Roger says, "Great we've been incarcerated by R Lee Ermey" | |||
| inky says, "oh yeah" | ||||
| Benjor asks, "Wait, you guys got the gray bar?" | ||||
| Jacqueline says, "Wait." | ||||
| DavidW says, "I might've now, yes." | ||||
| Jacqueline asks, "What if we'd kept out boots off? Would it repel the deputy?" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x stool" | ||||
Floyd | A small stool, with legs a couple of feet long. One of its three legs Floyd | is a piece of gray jail bar, but it seems relatively solid. All of the Floyd | paint has been worn off the seat by your illustrious predecessors who Floyd | inhabited this cell. Those same occupants carved every square inch of Floyd | the stool's seat with their initials (and the initials look Floyd | intriguing!) A small bronze plate has been nailed to the bottom of Floyd | the stool. Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete pedals the air with his feet, while making sounds like a Floyd | ringing bell. Floyd | Floyd | > | Benjor asks, "How did you get the gray bar?" | |||
| Nitku says (to Floyd), "sit on stool" | ||||
Floyd | Muddy holds it steady as you climb up. Your head is now even with the Floyd | top of the window. Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete shakes and twists spasmodically. Floyd | Floyd | > | Jacqueline says, "Also, cool. Now he's leaving to go back to the brothel, and there's no guard dog." | |||
| Jacqueline says, "Sweet." | ||||
| DavidW says, "I put the gray bar into the socket, of course." | ||||
| Crispy says, ".. floyd stand on stool" | inky asks, "but how did you get it out of the window?" | |||
| DavidW says, "It didn't test if I *had* the gray bar." | ||||
| inky says, "or the gate or whatever it was" | ||||
| Crispy says (to floyd), "stand on stool" | ||||
Floyd | You are already high enough up. | inky says, "ha ha" | |||
Floyd | Floyd | Muddy murmurs to himself about not being able to recall a limerick he Floyd | once heard that had something to do with cowboys and farmers. Floyd | Floyd | > | zarf says, "huh" | |||
| inky says, "ok we'd better undo, hunh" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "/undo" | ||||
Floyd | jail cell Floyd | You done backtracked some. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "/undo" | ||||
Floyd | jail cell Floyd | You done backtracked some. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "/undo" | ||||
Floyd | jail cell Floyd | You done backtracked some. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "/undo" | ||||
Floyd | jail cell Floyd | You done backtracked some. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "/undo" | ||||
Floyd | | Jacqueline asks, "Oh wait, so... did you just put the bar in the stool without taking the bar from the window and we're really not s'posed to have it?" | |||
| DavidW asks, "aw, did I mess everything up?" | ||||
| zarf says, "yes" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Jacq), "yes" | ||||
| inky says, "well, I assume there is a puzzle we have otherwise missed" | ||||
| Jacqueline says, "huh" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x window" | ||||
Floyd | Pretty far up on the wall, as wide as your shoulders, and secured by Floyd | four vertical iron rods as thick as your thumb. And you have thick Floyd | thumbs. The green tip of a vine pokes in from outside and lies on the Floyd | narrow window sill. Floyd | Floyd | The Deputy slams through the swinging doors to the office, lurching to Floyd | the side as he struggles to put his other leg into his pants. He is Floyd | bare-chested and empty-handed, aside from a nearly drained bottle of Floyd | whiskey. Floyd | Floyd | The deputy thunders, "What the cow-poking sheep-sheering bear-baiting Floyd | turkey-trotting blazes is the matter here?" The deputy surveys the Floyd | office quickly and then rattles the gate to make sure it is still Floyd | locked. Floyd | Floyd | Satisfied that you haven't escaped, he pushes the lever back to the Floyd | middle position and warns, "I don't know what you were up to what made Floyd | old Flash trigger-happy, but don't let it happen again." Floyd | Floyd | "Dumb dog," he mumbles, "I was doing important business." The deputy Floyd | waves his fist at you and sets off again towards the door. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x gate" | ||||
Floyd | (the gate) Floyd | A metal gate stands between you and freedom. The gate is set into the Floyd | metal bars that surround your cell, and its hinges must be internal. Floyd | The gate has a massive padlock that clicked definitively behind you Floyd | when you were thrown into the cell. You've seen banks with poorer Floyd | locks. At least this is a quality institution. Floyd | Floyd | Flash basks in the glow of the boiler. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x grey bar" | ||||
Floyd | The gray bar is just a shade lighter than the surrounding jail bars. Floyd | You notice that the gray bar is held to the ceiling by a screw the Floyd | size of a railroad spike. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy murmurs to himself about not being able to recall a limerick he Floyd | once heard that had something to do with cowboys and farmers. Floyd | Floyd | > | Benjor says, "I don't remember getting the gray bar, but I may have just missed it." | |||
| zarf says, "you didn't skip a pile of plot, just that one puzzle" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "turn screw" | ||||
Floyd | Nothing obvious happens. Floyd | Floyd | > | Benjor says, "whoa, that's a BIG BUG" | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "tie vine to screw" | ||||
Floyd | You would achieve nothing by this. Floyd | Floyd | Flash nuzzles up to the boiler. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Ellison has disconnected. | ||||
| Ellison has connected. | DavidW asks, "I think we need to stand on the bench to pull the screw?" | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "pull screw" | ||||
Floyd | Nothing obvious happens. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "I can't tell" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "give tin to paster" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't able to see no such thing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "give tin to pastor" | ||||
Floyd | Floyd | Suddenly, Pastor Pete leaps up and rants, "The SHIP of INTEGRITY Floyd | floats merrily on the sea of justice, and we on the shore are lapped Floyd | by the waves of righteousness, drizzled upon by the REIGN of Floyd | PROPRIETY, and spat upon by the unyielding sense of honor and Floyd | self-worth that could be extracted from fried food if one had the time Floyd | and inclination to do so. We are doused by a fire brigade of good Floyd | works, immersed in the RIVER of NOBLE DEEDS, pulled under by the Floyd | CURRENT of good will, and drowned within an inch of our very lives in Floyd | the deep, dark well of DUTY. Thus, I say, swimming is something that Floyd | should be learned at an early age, and then avoided". He then Floyd | collapses on the bench again and falls fast asleep. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy leans against the wall and sighs. Floyd | Floyd | > | Roger says, "I'm having problems picturing how the screw is affixing the grey bar and the general positioning of the grey bar" | |||
| inky says, "none of these error messages are making it clear what the issue is with tryign to turn the screw" | ||||
| Benjor files the bug immediately | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "give tin to muddy" | ||||
Floyd | Muddy glances at the tin and says, "I ain't got no idea what I'd do Floyd | with a tin. No thanks." Floyd | Floyd | Muddy paces back and forth impatiently. Floyd | Floyd | > | Roger says, "Because it's a short bar, right, so... like, what." | |||
| inky says, "I think the bar must have a flat perpendicular section at one end which is flush against the ceiling" | ||||
| Benjor says, "It's a bug. The gray bar is apparently still attached to the ceiling and part of the stool, all at once. Fail." | ||||
| inky says, "but yeah, I dunno" | ||||
| Benjor says, "Thanks for finding the bug. Roll with it for now." | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "push grey bar" | ||||
Floyd | The gray bar is loose, but still held in place by a large screw that Floyd | connects it to the ceiling. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "pull grey bar" | ||||
Floyd | The gray bar is loose, but still held in place by a large screw that Floyd | connects it to the ceiling. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "remove screw" | ||||
Floyd | (first taking the screw) Floyd | The screw is too high for you to reach. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy hums "Camptown Races", singing the "Doo-Dars" off key. The Floyd | effect is annoying. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "climb muddy" | ||||
Floyd | I don't think much is to be achieved by that. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says (to Benjor), "well, we undid" | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "jump" | ||||
Floyd | You dance about like a niner soaked full of nose paint. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "stand on stool" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't gonna get onto the stool unless it stands solidly on three Floyd | good legs. Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete shakes and twists spasmodically. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "lift muddy" | ||||
Floyd | That ain't no verb I got knowledge of. Floyd | Floyd | > | Roger asks, "a niner?" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "snort tobacco" | ||||
Floyd | That ain't no verb I got knowledge of. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "eat tobacco" | ||||
Floyd | (first taking the tobacco) | inky says, "miner forty-niner, perhaps" | |||
Floyd | You take a pinch of tobacco. Floyd | Floyd | "Glmph." Floyd | Floyd | "You didn't just swallow that chaw, did you?" asks Muddy Floyd | incredulously. Floyd | Floyd | "I reckon I done just that -- and it didn't go down pretty." Floyd | Floyd | You galoot. You're supposed to chew it. Hain't I learned you nothing?" Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "chew tobacco" | ||||
| Crispy says (to floyd), "get on muddy" | ||||
Floyd | (first sticking some in your maw) Floyd | You wonder if tobacco is really good for you, like the doctors say. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy glances over at you, and seems about to speak, but then walks Floyd | away again. Floyd | Floyd | > Floyd | That ain't something what you can loiter on. Floyd | Floyd | A fly buzzes past your ear and lands on the ceiling. Floyd | Floyd | > | Jacqueline says, "MINER FORTY-NINER WAS AWESOME - INKY WINS!" | |||
| Roger says (to floyd), "climb bars" | ||||
Floyd | I don't think much is to be achieved by that. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "spit tobacco at bowl" | ||||
Floyd | The tobacco hits the food bowl, but drops off. Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete somersaults from the bench into the center of the jail Floyd | cell. He chants, "The mystery of unfounded knowledge knows not the day Floyd | of its own destruction, nor whence it came. It is a PUZZLE wrapped in Floyd | an enigma, boarded up in a box lined with straw, and surrounded by Floyd | another metal box with RIVETS, and finally an even larger metal box Floyd | that is encased in concrete and thrown into the ocean, where it is Floyd | swallowed by a whale, which is in turn swallowed by a sea turtle of Floyd | unusual proportions. That SEA TURTLE is subsequently swallowed by a Floyd | still larger sea turtle, and from there on, it's turtles all the way Floyd | down!" Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete collapses onto the bench and resumes his previous position Floyd | as if nothing had happened. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "spit tobacco at pete" | ||||
Floyd | Floyd | Suddenly, Pastor Pete leaps up and rants, "There shall be an Floyd | ACCOUNTING and it shall come swiftly, and with little notice, most Floyd | likely in a four hour time slot in the morning, but perhaps in the Floyd | late afternoon or evening if they're running late. THE WAGES OF SIN Floyd | shall be entered into the ledgers, in duplicate, after first deducting Floyd | the withholdables of sin and carrying over any offsetting credits from Floyd | previous GOOD WORKS, and taking into consideration the INFLATION of Floyd | EVIL, the DEVALUATION of MORALS and the exchange rate with PAGAN Floyd | BELIEFS". He then collapses on the bench again and falls fast asleep. Floyd | Floyd | Flash half opens one eye and looks at you and Muddy. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "ha ha" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "spit tobacco at flash" | ||||
Floyd | (first chewing some tobacco) Floyd | The stomach-churning mass of glistening tobacco pulp splashes on the Floyd | floor, just in front of Flash. His nose twitches, as his finely honed Floyd | bloodhound sense of smell detects tobacco ball. Your stomach churns as Floyd | he stretches lazily forward and laps it up, swallowing it in one gulp Floyd | before falling asleep again. Floyd | Floyd | > | Jacqueline asks, "Wait, though... wasn't it MINER 2049er?" | |||
| Roger says (to floyd), "Twist grey bar" | ||||
Floyd | Nothing obvious happens. Floyd | Floyd | > | Limax says, "Jacq's right" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "spit tobacco at screw" | ||||
Floyd | (first chewing some tobacco) Floyd | You're not keen to spit at anything in the jail cell with you. A man Floyd | don't spit where he lives (excepting maybe on the floor, of course). Floyd | Floyd | Just to the side of the desk, the boiler gurgles and bubbles quietly. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Limax arrives, full of fun and funk. | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "spit tobacco at lever" | ||||
Floyd | (first chewing some tobacco) | Jacqueline says, "That was (and remains) one of my favorite games evar." | |||
Floyd | The tobacco sails right past the thin lever, hits the boiler pipe and Floyd | slides down, out of sight. Floyd | Floyd | Flash sniffs his food bowl. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "I was talking about the song, not the game" | |||
| Jacqueline says, "Oh. You don't win, then." | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "i" | ||||
Floyd | You're carrying a hunk of meat, a spur, a tin, a pamphlet, your Floyd | pocketwatch, your hat, and a scrap of paper. You are wearing your Floyd | right boot, left boot, pants, and overcoat. Floyd | Floyd | Halfway between the door to the outside and your jail cell, the metal Floyd | contraption puffs some steam into the office. Floyd | Floyd | > | Limax says (to Jacqueline), "My sister really loved that game too... it was one of the ones that she was better than me" | |||
| Roger says (to floyd), "x pants" | ||||
Floyd | Rugged, blue denim. Floyd | Floyd | Flash raises an ear halfway and then lets it flap back down. Floyd | Floyd | > | Limax asks (of inky), "My Darling, Clementine?" | |||
| Roger says (to floyd), "l" | ||||
Floyd | Jail Cell Floyd | The small jail cell is brick on three sides, metal bars on the other, Floyd | with a tightly locked gate. A small window is set into the brickwork Floyd | above your head. Through the jail bars you can see the sheriff's Floyd | office. Floyd | Floyd | A broken stool lies on the floor. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy leans against the wall tapping a harmonica on his arm. Floyd | Floyd | In the corner of the cell, a disheveled man in a black suit is Floyd | stretched out on a crude wooden bench and is snoring loudly, oblivious Floyd | to your presence. Floyd | Floyd | You can also see an empty can (in which is a spoon) here. Floyd | Floyd | A dented food bowl sits on the office floor, only a few feet from the Floyd | jail bars. Floyd | Floyd | In the office you can also see Flash. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "ask muddy about harmonica" | ||||
Floyd | Muddy replies, "Give it a toot, Rick." Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "play harmonica" | ||||
Floyd | You got to be holding it first. Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete pedals the air with his feet, while making sounds like a Floyd | ringing bell. Floyd | Floyd | > | Limax asks, "Is Muddy's last name Waters?" | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "get harmonica" | ||||
Floyd | "I ain't never seen you play the mouth organ, Muddy." Floyd | Floyd | Your partner turns the harmonica back and forth. "That's 'cuz I ain't Floyd | never learned how," he replies. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy hands the harmonica to you. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "play harmonica" | ||||
Floyd | Tentatively, you blow a few notes. The bars in the jail cell rattle Floyd | sympathetically. Floyd | Floyd | "Look at that, boy", Muddy laughs, "I swear that screw up there Floyd | holding that bar is wiggling loose!" Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "play harmonica" | ||||
Floyd | Again, the room resonates with the rich and vibrant tones of a bagpipe Floyd | connected to the blowhole of a beluga whale. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy points excitedly towards the top of the gray bar, "When you Floyd | played, that screw worked its way out more. It's like you got some Floyd | kind of sonic screwdriver or something! I think one more time will do Floyd | it." Floyd | Floyd | Muddy tugs down on his vest, which had ridden up a bit. Floyd | Floyd | > | Jacqueline asks, "Wait wait wait. Why is Flash here? Didn't he run away? Or did we undo that much?" | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "play harmonica" | ||||
Floyd | The screw vibrates out of the ceiling, rebounds off the concrete floor Floyd | in a shower of sparks, and rolls under the deputy's desk. A hollow Floyd | gray tube falls loose from the upper reaches of the jailbars and lands Floyd | at your feet. Floyd | Floyd | "You done it!" shouts Muddy. Floyd | Floyd | Flash drools. Floyd | Floyd | > | Roger says, "WEAK" | |||
| inky says, "ha ha sonic screwdriver" | ||||
| DavidW says, "ha ha" | ||||
| dhakajack says, "Flash is still attached by his leash." | ||||
| inky says, "I thought the deputy just reset the whistle lever but didn't actually take the dog away" | ||||
| maga's studied dalliance with his venal muses is little to our taste. | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "hollow?" | ||||
Floyd | That ain't no verb I got knowledge of. Floyd | Floyd | > | zarf says, "I'm afraid the "sonic screwdriver" line is not my favorite line" | |||
| Limax asks, "It's not?" | ||||
| Jacqueline says, "I thought the dog ran away, taking the leash with it, then the dupity reset the lever but the dog wasn't around. huh" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "get tube" | ||||
Floyd | You grab the bar. Floyd | Floyd | You hold it lengthwise and stare down its hollow shaft at Muddy. He Floyd | looks back at you. Floyd | Floyd | "Don't that just beat all," ponders Muddy. Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one] Floyd | Floyd | Flash lazily sniffs the machine. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says, "A *hollow* tube." | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "look through it" | ||||
Floyd | The bar is a hollow tube, with an inner diameter of about a half-inch. Floyd | If you look carefully, you can see a spiral groove running up the Floyd | length of the inside of the shaft, kind of like a rifle. Floyd | Floyd | Over in the office, the bronze machine creaks. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "hmm" | |||
| Jacqueline must not have very good reading comprehension skillz. | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "Put meat in tube" | ||||
Floyd | You don't reckon there's much point in that. Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete curls up into a ball, muttering to himself. Floyd | Floyd | > | Benjor has just fixed the put-gray-bar-in-socket-always-succeeds bug. | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put bar in socket" | ||||
Floyd | You flip the stool over and wiggle the hollow gray tube into the empty Floyd | socket. It fits perfectly and remains in place when you let go of the Floyd | bar, but you think you could yank the gray bar out again if you needed Floyd | it. You now have a stool with three even legs: two wood, one metal. Floyd | Floyd | Not far from your jail cell, the boiler rumbles for a moment and then Floyd | stops. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "stand on stool" | ||||
Floyd | Muddy holds it steady as you climb up. Your head is now even with the Floyd | top of the window. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x window" | ||||
Floyd | Pretty far up on the wall, as wide as your shoulders, and secured by Floyd | four vertical iron rods as thick as your thumb. And you have thick Floyd | thumbs. The green tip of a vine pokes in from outside and lies on the Floyd | narrow window sill. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "look out window" | ||||
Floyd | The jail is at the end of a long street. Directly across the street is Floyd | a saloon, which is open, unlike the stores on both sides of the street Floyd | that have pulled down their shades for the evening. Below the window Floyd | there is a covered barrel; you can almost touch its top. Just to the Floyd | left of the window, a berry-covered vine has grown up the side of the Floyd | building, and pokes in the window, lying on the narrow window sill. Floyd | Floyd | Up in the sky, you notice a couple of hungry, circling vultures. Floyd | Floyd | Flash looks admiringly at the dinner bell. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "oho" | |||
| Limax asks, "Are there four rods or three now?" | ||||
| zarf says, "the grey bar was on the cell bars, not the rods" | ||||
| DavidW asks, "The meat is for the vultures?!?" | ||||
| Limax says, "Ah. Okay" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x barrel" | ||||
Floyd | It's a weathered oak barrel. You can't tell what's inside it, if Floyd | anything. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "open barrel" | ||||
Floyd | You know, that ain't something you can open. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x sill" | ||||
Floyd | A three or four inch wide ledge just inside the small window that Floyd | looks out onto the street. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take sill" | ||||
Floyd | That ain't hardly what a body would aim to carry about. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says (to DavidW), "I imagine" | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x berry" | ||||
Floyd | Each berry is plump and red, and got no short of mystery about it. Floyd | Don't look so edible. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "get berry" | ||||
Floyd | You pluck a plump juicy red berry from the part of the vine growing Floyd | outside the window. Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one] Floyd | Floyd | Flash gazes at the dinner bell. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "eat berry" | ||||
Floyd | Muddy stops you, "Don't be a coward -- if'n you eat that, you'll sleep Floyd | clear through to the afternoon -- and we only got till eight in the Floyd | "A" of "M" to get out of here." Floyd | Floyd | Muddy leans against the wall and sighs. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x bell" | ||||
Floyd | A shiny silver bell with a black handle. It is hanging on a small hook Floyd | by the doorway. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "throw berry at bell" | ||||
Floyd | Your throwing arm ain't been any good since the accident with the musk Floyd | ox and the hedge clippers. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "give berry to flash" | ||||
Floyd | Flash don't seem interested. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put berry in bowl" | ||||
Floyd | You can reach through the bars, but not far enough to touch the food Floyd | bowl. Floyd | Floyd | Flash moves his front leg slightly. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "spit at bell" | ||||
Floyd | Muddy shifts around too much for you to even attempt the shot. Floyd | Floyd | > | Limax asks, "What about using the berry in the tube and blowing it?" | |||
| DavidW says, "yes" | ||||
| Jacqueline says, "oHO" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "put berry in tube" | ||||
Floyd | You don't have the gray bar in hand. Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete leaps into the middle of the jail cell. He rants, "Blessed Floyd | is the terribly, terribly DISMAL. How glorious in unpleasantness, how Floyd | lovely in loathing, how simply pleasing in depravity. In the whole Floyd | world full of pain and suffering and plagues, not to mention sock Floyd | monkeys and advertising, how refreshing is the endless potential Floyd | bounty of disappointment. How much more character we might build were Floyd | we but marginally more afflicted by adversity, we can only pray. Let Floyd | us extol the joyfulness of misery and cheer the horrifying facts Floyd | underlying the production of sausages, and revel in the lack of things Floyd | we have to celebrate!" Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete dives onto the bench and resumes snoring without missing a Floyd | beat. Floyd | Floyd | > | Jacqueline says, "Good idear." | |||
| DavidW says, "I was about to say" | ||||
| inky says, "oh, wait" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "get off stool" | ||||
Floyd | You jump down to the ground again. Floyd | Floyd | A fly buzzes past your ear and lands on the ceiling. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "unscrew bar" | ||||
Floyd | Nothing obvious happens. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy drums his fingers against the wall. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take grey bar" | ||||
Floyd | You yank the gray tube out of the stool's socket. Floyd | Floyd | Flash keeps an eye on his food bowl. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put berry in tube" | ||||
Floyd | You drop the berry into the gray tube. Floyd | Floyd | "Oh, I get it!" nods Muddy, "You're making some kind of berry gun. I Floyd | seen the Injuns do something like that, except you ain't got no darts Floyd | in there to blow at people." Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete froths at the mouth. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "ha ha" | |||
| DavidW says, "okay, how to phrase this..." | ||||
| Roger says, "You're a goddamned liar, muddy" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "shoot berry at bowl" | ||||
Floyd | The berry hits the food bowl, then bounces away out of sight. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy murmurs to himself about not being able to recall a limerick he Floyd | once heard that had something to do with cowboys and farmers. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "undo" | ||||
Floyd | jail cell Floyd | You done backtracked some. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "shoot berry at bell" | ||||
Floyd | Ding! The bell is hit so hard that it spins around on the hook several Floyd | times, clanging like a church bell on Sunday. Floyd | Floyd | The amoeba-like mass of fat and fur known to you as Flash leaps Floyd | immediately to his feet, saliva dripping from his toothless jowls. He Floyd | lunges like a champion fencer for his food bowl. His leash snaps taut, Floyd | pulling the lever away from the front door and towards the strange Floyd | machine. Floyd | Floyd | The boiler hisses and gurgles, steam jets from the rivet joints in the Floyd | pipe that connects to the machine, and the machine itself vibrates and Floyd | rumbles for a minute. A white cup drops from a chute and brown liquid Floyd | squirts from a nozzle and fills the cup. The smell of fresh coffee Floyd | pervades the office. Floyd | Floyd | Finding no food in his bowl, Flash snorts perfunctorily and resumes Floyd | his former position, pulling the lever back to the middle position. Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one] Floyd | Floyd | > | Benjor apologizes for the puzzlefest | |||
| Benjor says, "But, well, it's one-room. :-)" | ||||
| DavidW says, "... we made coffee." | ||||
| Limax asks, "Let's see... so if you lose, the berry, you're in an unwinnable state?" | ||||
| dhakajack says, "It's worse than one room -- it's two rooms, with an arm-shortening barrier between them." | ||||
| inky says, "I assume we can get another berry" | ||||
| Limax says, "Dang.. that sounds like Shatner" | ||||
| Benjor says, "zarfian cruelty rating is completely merciful." | ||||
| inky says, "hmm" | ||||
| Touchy says, "re" | ||||
| inky says, "anyway, I assume the puzzle involves making the boiler overheat or something" | ||||
| Roger says, "So merciful you don't even need to solve the puzzles sometimes" | ||||
| inky says, "but maybe not" | ||||
| Touchy says (to Floyd), "l" | ||||
Floyd | Jail Cell Floyd | The small jail cell is brick on three sides, metal bars on the other, Floyd | with a tightly locked gate. A small window is set into the brickwork Floyd | above your head. Through the jail bars you can see the sheriff's Floyd | office. Floyd | Floyd | A broken stool lies on the floor. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy leans against the wall. Floyd | Floyd | In the corner of the cell, a disheveled man in a black suit is Floyd | stretched out on a crude wooden bench and is snoring loudly, oblivious Floyd | to your presence. Floyd | Floyd | You can also see an empty can (in which is a spoon) here. Floyd | Floyd | A dented food bowl sits on the office floor, only a few feet from the Floyd | jail bars. Floyd | Floyd | On the machine is a cup (in which is some coffee). Floyd | Floyd | In the office you can also see Flash. Floyd | Floyd | > | Ellison says, "I just know that it has succeeded in making me want coffee" | |||
| Roger says, "So Flash is inside this building made of, whatdyacallit, mud bricks" | ||||
| Jacqueline says, "I think I already said this, but I'll just say it again: I love coffee." | ||||
| inky asks, "adobe?" | ||||
| Alex says (to inky), "Awwwk! Word on the street is that Adobe is a software company that makes high-priced, excellent productivity software including Photoshop, Illustrator, GoLive, After Effects, and InDesign." | ||||
| Limax says (to Ellison), "Yeah. I should see if we have any more here" | ||||
| dhakajack says, "Ben -- add coffee to the scratch-and-sniff feelie." | ||||
| Limax says (to Jacqueline), "I'm right there with you... I've got an orker 'trained' now to go for coffee with me in the morning" | ||||
| Roger asks, "Have we given up on the door lock?" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x hinges" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't able to see no such thing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Touchy says (to Floyd), "x dor" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't able to see no such thing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Touchy says (to Floyd), "x door" | ||||
Floyd | The cabinet's door covers the front of the cabinet and opens on brass Floyd | hinges. The contents of the cabinet are recognizable through the Floyd | cabinet's uneven glass. Despite the distortion, you see what looks Floyd | like a gun belt some kind of shiny yellow object. Maybe gold, you Floyd | think, hopefully. Floyd | Floyd | > | Ellison says (to Jacqueline), "the way it warms your stomach. it's like a hug FROM INSIDE!" | |||
| DavidW asks, "cabinet?!?" | ||||
| DavidW asks, "what cabinet?" | ||||
| inky asks, "yeah, where the heck did that come from?" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "l" | ||||
Floyd | Jail Cell Floyd | The small jail cell is brick on three sides, metal bars on the other, Floyd | with a tightly locked gate. A small window is set into the brickwork Floyd | above your head. Through the jail bars you can see the sheriff's Floyd | office. | Touchy says, "I was gunning for the celldoor of course." | |||
Floyd | Floyd | A broken stool lies on the floor. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy leans against the wall. Floyd | Floyd | In the corner of the cell, a disheveled man in a black suit is Floyd | stretched out on a crude wooden bench and is snoring loudly, oblivious Floyd | to your presence. Floyd | Floyd | You can also see an empty can (in which is a spoon) here. Floyd | Floyd | A dented food bowl sits on the office floor, only a few feet from the Floyd | jail bars. Floyd | Floyd | On the machine is a cup (in which is some coffee). Floyd | Floyd | In the office you can also see Flash. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "look through bars" | ||||
Floyd | A one-room jailhouse is fitting for this jerkwater town. There's a Floyd | big, wooden desk in the middle of the room. Just behind the desk is a Floyd | fancy cabinet, with real glass in the door. Next to the cabinet, a Floyd | large, framed picture of the sheriff stands on the floor. To the side Floyd | of the desk, there is a weird-looking contraption: clearly, some sort Floyd | of steam boiler which is connected by pipes to a strange-looking Floyd | machine. On the opposite side of the room, two swinging doors lead Floyd | back to town; a small bell hangs on a hook attached to the door. Floyd | Flash's empty dog food bowl is nailed to the floor just in front of Floyd | your jail cell. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x framed" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't able to see no such thing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x picture" | ||||
Floyd | A bombastic portrait of the sheriff, who is dressed in a Napoleonic Floyd | uniform save for the ten gallon hat. In the background, dogs play Floyd | poker. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x desk" | ||||
Floyd | A beat-up old wooden desk with time-worn corners, and a pitted, Floyd | scratched surface. Floyd | Floyd | > | Limax says, "Yup... there's some in the pot... microwaving it now" | |||
| Touchy asks, "You're microwaving coffee?" | ||||
| Jacqueline says, "Are you two coming to PAX? I would like to meet you and see if you are as crazy in real life as your games would make us believe." | ||||
| Roger says, "Knowing the bowl is nailed down eliminates some frobbing" | ||||
| Benjor says, "We'll be at PAX" | ||||
| Limax says, "Yes. We have coffee made all the time. My wife likes making iced coffee, so she usually turns the burner off after making it. I don't mind heating it up" | ||||
| Jacqueline says, "Huzzah" | ||||
| Benjor I'll be the Photojournalist | Roger says, "Alright I'll start getting another berry if that's alright" | |||
| Roger says (to floyd), "put bar in stool" | ||||
Floyd | You flip the stool over and wiggle the hollow gray tube into the empty Floyd | socket. It fits perfectly and remains in place when you let go of the Floyd | bar, but you think you could yank the gray bar out again if you needed Floyd | it. You now have a stool with three even legs: two wood, one metal. Floyd | Floyd | Flash rolls over and takes a few minutes afterwards to catch his Floyd | breath. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "stand on stool" | ||||
Floyd | Muddy holds it steady as you climb up. Your head is now even with the Floyd | top of the window. Floyd | Floyd | Flash is as still as a statue. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "take berry" | DavidW asks, "Will that make a coffee-on-a-coffee?" | |||
Floyd | You pluck a plump juicy red berry from the part of the vine growing Floyd | outside the window. Floyd | Floyd | A cockroach scuttles by, making a detour around Muddy. Cockroaches Floyd | have noses, you figure (not that you smell all that flowery neither). Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "g" | ||||
Floyd | You already got a mighty nice one. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy pats down his wild hair but only makes it worse. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "x barrel" | ||||
Floyd | It's a weathered oak barrel. You can't tell what's inside it, if Floyd | anything. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "look through window" | ||||
Floyd | The jail is at the end of a long street. Directly across the street is Floyd | a saloon, which is open, unlike the stores on both sides of the street Floyd | that have pulled down their shades for the evening. Below the window Floyd | there is a covered barrel; you can almost touch its top. Just to the Floyd | left of the window, a berry-covered vine has grown up the side of the Floyd | building, and pokes in the window, lying on the narrow window sill. Floyd | Floyd | Up in the sky, you notice a couple of hungry, circling vultures. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "x vultures" | ||||
Floyd | They look hungry. Why else would they circle like that? Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says, "I don't know why, but try putting the meat on the barrel." | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "show meat to vultures" | ||||
Floyd | You can only do that to something animate. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "put meat on sill" | ||||
Floyd | You put the hunk of meat on the window sill and almost immediately, a Floyd | vulture drops from the sky, lands just beneath the window and drags Floyd | the meat outside. You can hear it munching away on the meat, and see Floyd | its tail waving back and forth just outside the window. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "get tail" | ||||
Floyd | That seems to be a part of the vulture. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "pull tail" | ||||
Floyd | Nothing obvious happens. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "tie vine to tail" | ||||
Floyd | You would achieve nothing by this. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "take feather" | ||||
Floyd | You pluck a feather from the vulture's tail. The bird twists its head Floyd | momentarily to glare at you before plunging back into its task of Floyd | devouring the rotting meat. Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one] Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete pedals the air with his feet, while making sounds like a Floyd | ringing bell. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "tie vine to vulture" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take vulture" | ||||
Floyd | You would achieve nothing by this. Floyd | Floyd | > Floyd | I don't reckon the vulture would much care for that. Floyd | Floyd | > | Benjor says, "I actually agreed to take photos for Jimmy Maher & SPAG. Plus I'll be making a 'wall of portraits' in the IF suite." | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x feather" | ||||
Floyd | A long, black feather with white stripes. Floyd | Floyd | > | Touchy asks, "IF suite?" | |||
| DavidW says, "hm. Feathers are useful to tickle, as pens, and in darts." | ||||
| Benjor says (to Touchy), "[LINK]" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "tickle pete with feather" | ||||
Floyd | That ain't no verb I got knowledge of. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "write on paper" | ||||
Floyd | That ain't no verb I got knowledge of. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says, "must be a dart." | |||
| Jacqueline refrains from asking DavidW how he knows so much about the usefulness of feathers. | ||||
| Touchy says, "So sad it's so soon. My gf is moving to boston in summer, would have been the perfect time to come and meet you guys." | ||||
| Limax says, "It seems that most of the bigger cons are on the east coast" | ||||
| Limax says (to Jacqueline), "Maybe he owns birds too" | ||||
| Ellison says (to Limax), "specifically Boston, judging by the tv show Leverage" | ||||
| Limax says (to Ellison), "Yeah. I think out here there's the big one in San Diego, one in Seattle and that's pretty much it" | ||||
| Touchy says (to Floyd), "l" | ||||
Floyd | Jail Cell (on the stool) Floyd | The small jail cell is brick on three sides, metal bars on the other, Floyd | with a tightly locked gate. A small window is set into the brickwork Floyd | above your head. Through the jail bars you can see the sheriff's Floyd | office. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy leans against the wall. Floyd | Floyd | In the corner of the cell, a disheveled man in a black suit is Floyd | stretched out on a crude wooden bench and is snoring loudly, oblivious Floyd | to your presence. Floyd | Floyd | You can also see an empty can (in which is a spoon) here. Floyd | Floyd | A dented food bowl sits on the office floor, only a few feet from the Floyd | jail bars. Floyd | Floyd | On the machine is a cup (in which is some coffee). Floyd | Floyd | In the office you can also see Flash. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Touchy says (to Floyd), "x can" | ||||
Floyd | An open metal can labeled "BEANS". Unfortunately for Muddy, the can is Floyd | empty. One end of a spoon sticks out of the can. On the back, some Floyd | fine print says, "Precooked beans. No claim is made regarding the Floyd | cardioprotective nature of this product. May cause abdominal Floyd | distension if ingested. No fitness of purpose is implied. No warranty Floyd | is provided for personal or other injury, or injury or loss related Floyd | directly or indirectly to the use of this product. By opening this Floyd | can, you agree to the terms of service posted in town." Floyd | Floyd | > | Limax asks, "Can you get the spoon?" | |||
| Touchy says (to Floyd), "take spoon" | ||||
Floyd | Fetched. Floyd | Floyd | > | Limax says, "Not sure what that would help, but..." | |||
| inky says (to Ellison), "ha ha" | ||||
| Ellison says (to inky), "ha ha, looking that joke up the other day has proven useful again!" | ||||
| Touchy says (to Floyd), "x spoon" | ||||
Floyd | A bent old spoon. Floyd | Floyd | > | Limax watched it sail over his head without mussing his hair | |||
| Touchy says (to Floyd), "x food bowl" | ||||
Floyd | A beat-up mining pan full of dents and scratch marks. The bowl seems Floyd | to be nailed to the office floor. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "totally" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put feather in berry" | ||||
Floyd | That can't contain things. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "attach feather to berry" | ||||
Floyd | You would achieve nothing by this. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "pry bowl off floor" | ||||
Floyd | That ain't no verb I got knowledge of. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "stab berry with feather" | ||||
Floyd | That ain't no verb I got knowledge of. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "throw feather at pete" | ||||
Floyd | Your throwing arm ain't been any good since the accident with the musk Floyd | ox and the hedge clippers. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "squeeze berry" | ||||
Floyd | That don't get nothing done. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "chew berry" | ||||
| Crispy says (to floyd), "throw feather in bowl" | ||||
Floyd | Tobacco's the only thing worth chewing. Floyd | Floyd | > Floyd | You can reach through the bars, but not far enough to touch the food Floyd | bowl. Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete shakes and twists spasmodically. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "poison feather with berry" | ||||
Floyd | That ain't no verb I got knowledge of. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "drug feather with berry" | ||||
Floyd | That ain't no verb I got knowledge of. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "sharpen feather" | Limax says, "Spit on berry" | |||
Floyd | That ain't no verb I got knowledge of. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says, "Try making a 2nd coffee, see what chaos happens." | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "cut feather with spur" | ||||
Floyd | That don't work none. What kind of crazy talk is you up to? Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "get hollow" | ||||
Floyd | You yank the gray tube out of the stool's socket, lose your balance, Floyd | topple backwards and plant your face smartly in the prison floor. Floyd | Muddy looks away in embarrassment. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "SAVE" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "cf2" | ||||
Floyd | Enter saved game to store: Ok. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "ha ha" | |||
| Touchy asks, "Does the coffee maker have any parts we could destroy?" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "put berry in tube" | ||||
Floyd | You drop the berry into the gray tube. Floyd | Floyd | A yellow-fringed surrey trots past the sheriff's office. Floyd | Floyd | > | Benjor says, "By the way, there's a help system. Though I don't trust floyd to do menus" | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "shoot berry at bell" | ||||
Floyd | Your projectile ricochets off the bell with a metallic "ding!" Floyd | Floyd | Flash reflexively jumps towards his feeding bowl, pulling the lever Floyd | and somehow causing the machine to rattle and buzz. Finding no food, Floyd | the despondent dog returns to his favorite place in front of the Floyd | boiler, shutting off the coffee machine. Floyd | Floyd | > | Limax says, "I think you need to have food in the bowl to keep Flash over there" | |||
| DavidW says, "hm. only one coffee to a customer." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x coffee" | ||||
Floyd | Steaming hot, black joe. Floyd | Floyd | Halfway between the door to the outside and your jail cell, the Floyd | furnace puffs some steam into the office. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take coffee" | ||||
Floyd | You can reach through the bars, but not far enough to touch the Floyd | coffee. Floyd | Floyd | > | Limax says, "I hope the fact that Muddy ate the beans isn't going to prove fatal" | |||
| inky says, "floyd can sort of handle the z-machine menu system" | ||||
| Benjor says, "no zarfian cruelty" | ||||
| Touchy asks, "So if the berries are poisoned...shoot one in the cup?" | ||||
| DavidW says, "oh yes. of course." | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "RESTORE" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "cf2" | ||||
Floyd | Enter saved game to load: Ok. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "shoot berry at cup" | ||||
Floyd | You might use your tube as a blowgun, but it's got an emptiness to it Floyd | right now. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says, "then summon the deputy with the boots trick" | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "put berry in tube" | ||||
Floyd | You drop the berry into the gray tube. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy looks like he's about to have a great idea, but then goes back Floyd | to staring at the floor. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "shoot berry at cup" | ||||
Floyd | The berry splatters against the side of the cup, and its juice Floyd | dribbles downwards. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy jumps up, claps you congratulatorily on the back, and you nearly Floyd | swallow the metal tube still held to your lips. Floyd | Floyd | He beams, "That were a one in a million shot, Rick!" Muddy strokes Floyd | his chin and wags a finger at the cup, "Now, if we can only get the Floyd | deputy to come back and drink some coffee, he might be a whole lot Floyd | more cooperative, I reckon." Floyd | Floyd | You sure like the way Muddy thinks. Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one] Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "remove left boot" | ||||
Floyd | Oh, you really don't want to do that. Not indoors at least. Are you Floyd | sure? Floyd | Floyd | (yes or no) >> | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "yes" | ||||
Floyd | You rock back and forth on the floor, locked in a death struggle with Floyd | your foot. Beads of sweat form on your head, as you struggle to twist Floyd | and pull the boot off. With a sudden sucking pop, the boot relents and Floyd | you tumble backwards. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy's eyes water as he complains, "Man, them feets of yours stinks Floyd | powerful bad!" Floyd | Floyd | Flash wakes with a start and sneezes loudly. The fur on his back Floyd | bristles, and he opens his eyes to stare in horror at your feet. He Floyd | backs away, towards the front door. The leash pulls taut. He seems Floyd | caught in the balance between an urge to run away from your stinky Floyd | foot and his own laziness, which holds him to the spot. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "remove right boot" | ||||
Floyd | In some states that would be a felony. Are you sure? Floyd | Floyd | (yes or no) >> | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "yes" | ||||
Floyd | You rock back and forth on the floor, locked in a death struggle with Floyd | your foot. Beads of sweat form on your head, as you struggle to twist Floyd | and pull the boot off. With a sudden sucking pop, the boot relents and Floyd | you tumble backwards. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy's eyes water as he complains, "Man, them feets of yours stinks Floyd | powerful bad!" Floyd | Floyd | One foot was bad enough, but two is more than the old dog can handle. Floyd | Trying not to sniff the air, Flash turns tail and breaks for the door, Floyd | straining against his leash, which is tied to the steam pipe lever. Floyd | The lever swings towards the door, and from the roof you hear the Floyd | ear-splitting drone of a railway steam whistle. Floyd | Floyd | You agree with Muddy that the deputy is not likely to be in a good Floyd | mood when he arrives, so you put your boots back on. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "z" | ||||
Floyd | Time passes. Floyd | Floyd | The Deputy slams through the swinging doors to the office, lurching to Floyd | the side as he struggles to put his other leg into his pants. He is Floyd | bare-chested and empty-handed, aside from a nearly drained bottle of Floyd | whiskey. Flash is so scared that he yanks the leash and snaps the Floyd | lever clear off the machine. Floyd | Floyd | The deputy thunders, "What the saddle sore slapping blazes is the Floyd | matter here?" The deputy surveys the office quickly and then rattles Floyd | the gate to make sure it is still locked. In his drunken rage, he Floyd | doesn't notice the missing metal bar. Floyd | Floyd | "Dumb dog," he mumbles, "I was doing important business." He looks Floyd | around for Flash, but the dog has already slid out of the office. The Floyd | deputy gives you a mean look and sets off again towards the door. Floyd | Floyd | The deputy brightens. "Ummm. I do smell me some coffee." The deputy Floyd | drains the mug with a single gulp. "That's good. I got to wake me up Floyd | some." Floyd | Floyd | Almost immediately, the deputy spins on his heel and drops to the Floyd | floor just in front of your jail cell. Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one] Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says, "this will be fun." | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x deputy" | ||||
Floyd | You are relieved to find that the deputy is unconscious, but Floyd | breathing. He is wearing only a pair of pants -- no shirt, no gun Floyd | belt, no boots. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy picks some food from between his teeth. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "search pants" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "search deputy" | ||||
Floyd | You rifle through his trouser pockets and find a federal warrant. You Floyd | also find a small brass key. Naturally, you take both. Floyd | Floyd | > Floyd | You don't find anything else but pocket lint. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "read warrant" | ||||
Floyd | "Muddy, this here's a federal warrant!" Floyd | Floyd | "What's it say, Rick?" Floyd | Floyd | I'm a-reading it now: FEDERAL WARRANT. This warrant is issued this Floyd | eleventh day of December in the year of Our Lord Eighteen Hundred and Floyd | Seventy-One and duly executed by the hand of United States Army Major Floyd | General Philip H. Sheridan of Fort Sill, the Indian Territory of these Floyd | United States of America. The fugitives Mudlark Abercromby MacGyver Floyd | alias "Muddy Charlie," alias "Mudshoe," alias "Pensicola Thelma," and Floyd | one Major Richard Carter, alias "Gentleman Rick," alias "Poor Floyd | Richard," alias "Gumball Ricky," both formerly of the Confederate Floyd | States Army, having been implicated by observation and circumstance of Floyd | innumerable delicta, dacoiteries, iniquities, infringements, Floyd | infractions, and indeed immorality, as well as trangressions, Floyd | trespassing and trainstopping, are considered deleterious and Floyd | detrimental to the welfare of the State, and THEREFORE, ordered Floyd | thereupon that a Mittimus be made out to keep them confined until such Floyd | time as they be discharged for proper hanging -- It's signed by the Floyd | General." Floyd | Floyd | "Mittimus?" Floyd | Floyd | "I reckon it's after Thanksgiving, before Easter." Floyd | Floyd | Muddy gives you that familiar old look that always leads to trouble. Floyd | "I got me another cunning plan. C'mon, ask your old buddy Muddy..." Floyd | Muddy leans forward, clearly impatient for you to ask him about his Floyd | latest stroke of (in his opinion) genius. Floyd | Floyd | > | Jacqueline asks, "Are you missing a quotation mark there?" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "ask muddy about plan" | ||||
Floyd | Muddy says excitedly, "Here's my idea: I reckon I could take that Floyd | warrant and forge a different ending. Maybe trick them into releasing Floyd | us." Floyd | Floyd | "That's a great idea, Muddy, let me get my pen and some ink. Oh, wait Floyd | a minute. I don't have either!" You glare at Muddy. Floyd | Floyd | "Oh, yeah. I suppose. I didn't think of that." Muddy considers the Floyd | matter. "Maybe we could make one. If you can find something that I can Floyd | use as a pen, I reckon we can squish something or other up to make Floyd | some kind of ink for it." Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "give feather to muddy" | ||||
Floyd | "Thanks, partner. That'll make a right proper pen." Floyd | Floyd | He continues, "To finish this business with the warrant, I'll need Floyd | something to serve as ink." Floyd | Floyd | Halfway between the door to the outside and your jail cell, the Floyd | sheriff's invention puffs some steam into the office. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says, "oh, it IS a pen." | |||
| Benjor asks, "missing quotation mark? Where?!?" | ||||
| dhakajack says, "yes, at the beginning of the long warrant paragraph" | ||||
| Jacqueline says, "Right before 'I'm a-reading it now'" | ||||
| Benjor me fixes | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "give tobacco to muddy" | ||||
Floyd | (first taking the tobacco) Floyd | You take a pinch of tobacco. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy reluctantly accepts the tobacco, saying, "Well, I suppose I Floyd | could use the tobacco juice." Muddy chews the tobacco some more, fills Floyd | his makeshift pen with the juice, and throws the wad out the window. Floyd | Floyd | He continues, "To finish this business with the warrant, I'll need the Floyd | warrant itself." Floyd | Floyd | A yellow-fringed surrey trots past the sheriff's office. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "give warrant to muddy" | ||||
Floyd | Muddy accepts the document and stares at it for a while, turning it Floyd | this way and that. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy applies his quill to the paper and with a few flourishes, Floyd | scrawls an additional sentence on the warrant. He blows gently on it Floyd | to dry the "ink" and hands the warrant back to you for your Floyd | inspection. Floyd | Floyd | A faint breeze wafts by. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "read warrant" | ||||
Floyd | It says: FEDERAL WARRANT. This warrant is issued this eleventh day of Floyd | December in the year of Our Lord Eighteen Hundred and Seventy-One and Floyd | duly executed by the hand of United States Army Major General Philip Floyd | H. Sheridan of Fort Sill, the Indian Territory of these United States Floyd | of America. The fugitives Mudlark Abercromby MacGyver alias "Muddy Floyd | Charlie," alias "Mudshoe," alias "Pensicola Thelma," and one Major Floyd | Richard Carter, alias "Gentleman Rick," alias "Poor Richard," alias Floyd | "Gumball Ricky," both formerly of the Confederate States Army, having Floyd | been implicated by observation and circumstance of innumerable Floyd | delicta, dacoiteries, iniquities, infringements, infractions, and Floyd | indeed immorality, as well as trangressions, trespassing and Floyd | trainstopping, are considered deleterious and detrimental to the Floyd | welfare of the State, and THEREFORE, ordered thereupon that a Mittimus Floyd | be made out to keep them confined until such time as they be Floyd | discharged for proper hanging of the Sheriff's portrait on the office Floyd | wall. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "ha ha" | |||
| Jacqueline says, "ha" | ||||
| Limax says, "Love it" | ||||
| Ellison says, "nice" | ||||
| DavidW says, "ha ha" | ||||
| Benjor grins | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "score" | ||||
Floyd | You have so far scored 12 out of a possible 24, in 235 turns. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "hunh" | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x key" | ||||
Floyd | You see nothing special about the small brass key. Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete jumps straight up, immediately animate. He hollers, Floyd | "BLESSED is the snail who crawls its time across the face of the earth Floyd | yet, safe in its routine but for the SALT sprinkled upon him, the salt Floyd | of the earth, well not so much earth per se, earth being dirt, but the Floyd | ocean, which covers it, and would not cover him so lightly were he Floyd | not, like a SLUG, so counterintuitively susceptible to its powers. How Floyd | too we, like the SNAIL, curled in our houses made of our own Floyd | SUBSTANCE, that being what differentiates the two, after all, amongst Floyd | other minutiae, which are neither here nor there, nor relevant to the Floyd | topic at hand, except in such a way as all things are relevant being Floyd | made by HIS HAND, that by the end of such an analysis one must Floyd | conclude not based on the FACTS, yet with the INARGUABLE voice of Floyd | FAITH, which rails against the shackles of REASON itself, having lost Floyd | track of the original THESIS. Which, were it important, chances are, Floyd | we would remember. That is why you see so few slugs these days, at any Floyd | rate!" Floyd | Floyd | Pastor Pete falls onto the bench and resumes his previous position as Floyd | if nothing had happened. Floyd | Floyd | > | Touchy says, "holy crap you're reading fast" | |||
| zarf says, "having Muddy be a MacGyver is my other favorite line" | ||||
| Ellison says (to zarf), "yeah, I liked that, too" | ||||
| Limax says, "A salted slug gathers no moss" | ||||
| Benjor exclaims (at dhakajack), "Pete sure sets the mood!" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take trousers" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't able to see no such thing. Floyd | Floyd | > | Ellison asks, "put the warrant back in the deputy's pocket, I guess?" | |||
| DavidW says, "oh, good idea" | ||||
| Jacqueline asks, "Wait, what's the key?" | ||||
| Alex says (to Jacqueline), "Awwwk! Word on the street is that lime is key." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put warrant in trousers" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't able to see no such thing. Floyd | Floyd | > | Limax asks, "Is the deputy gone?" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "put warrant in deputy" | ||||
Floyd | You can reach through the bars, but not far enough to touch the Floyd | deputy. Floyd | Floyd | > | Limax says, "Hmm" | |||
| Ellison says, "weird" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "give warrant to deputy" | ||||
Floyd | The deputy groans deeply and curls up into a ball, rolling towards you Floyd | and blinking quickly. His half-focused eyes drift from you to Pastor Floyd | Pete and finally fix on Muddy, who gives him a full-toothed (as many Floyd | as Muddy still has, at any rate) grin. Floyd | Floyd | The disoriented deputy asks, "What? What in tarnation happened?" Floyd | Floyd | Muddy takes the initiative, "I reckon you must've drunk some potent Floyd | firewater, deputy. You plumb passed out. Now, why don't you get up and Floyd | let us out, we got work to do -- just like it says on that federal Floyd | warrant." Floyd | Floyd | The dull-witted deputy, still stunned by the recent turn of events, Floyd | stares at the warrant. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy leans forward and points out, "Down there, near the bottom. It Floyd | says that we should be discharged to hang up the sheriff's portrait, Floyd | don't it?" Floyd | Floyd | The deputy yawns and rubs his eyes, "I reckon it do. But I thought you Floyd | was criminals." Floyd | Floyd | "Oh shucks, no, deputy." Muddy puts on his most endearing smile. Floyd | "Don't you remember the sheriff asking you to take care of his guests? Floyd | We were just staying here overnight. Now, why don't you let us out? Floyd | The sheriff's going to be mad at us all if that picture ain't hung by Floyd | morning." Floyd | Floyd | The deputy reaches down and does something arcane to the lock. You Floyd | don't quite see what he did, but it clicks open. He slumps wearily Floyd | against the jail bars, and the gate swings open, permitting passage Floyd | eastward into the office. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "ha ha" | |||
| Ellison says, "heh" | ||||
| Limax says, "Hm" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "unlock cabinet" | ||||
Floyd | What do you want to unlock the cabinet with? Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "key" | DavidW says, "We'll want the stuff in the cabinet too." | |||
Floyd | Is you talking plain English? I ain't following the words coming out Floyd | of your lips. Mayhaps it's your accent. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "unlock cabinet with key" | ||||
Floyd | (the cabinet with the small brass key) Floyd | You'd have to go over to the office first. Floyd | Floyd | Just to the side of the desk, the bronze machine ticks like a clock. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "e" | Limax says, "I think you need to head east first" | |||
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by five] Floyd | Floyd | Office Floyd | There's a big, wooden desk in the middle of the room. Just behind the Floyd | desk is a fancy cabinet, with real glass in the door. Next to the Floyd | cabinet, a large, framed picture of the sheriff stands on the floor. Floyd | To the side of the desk, there is a weird-looking contraption: Floyd | clearly, some sort of steam boiler which is connected by pipes to a Floyd | strange-looking machine. On the opposite side of the room, two Floyd | swinging doors lead back to town; a small bell hangs on a hook Floyd | attached to the door. Flash's empty dog food bowl is nailed to the Floyd | floor just in front of your jail cell. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy leans against the wall. Floyd | Floyd | A dented food bowl sits on the office floor, only a few feet from the Floyd | jail bars. Floyd | Floyd | You can also see the deputy here. Floyd | Floyd | A broken stool lies on the floor. Floyd | Floyd | In the corner of the cell, a disheveled man in a black suit is Floyd | stretched out on a crude wooden bench and is snoring loudly, oblivious Floyd | to your presence. Floyd | Floyd | In the jail cell you can also see an empty can (empty). Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "unlock cabinet with key" | ||||
Floyd | (the cabinet with the small brass key) Floyd | That doesn't seem to be something you can unlock. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "open cabinet" | ||||
Floyd | (the cabinet) Floyd | The cabinet opens to reveal two gun belts and a banana. Floyd | Floyd | "Come to papa!" beams Muddy, as he reaches for his gun belt and straps Floyd | it on. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x banana" | ||||
Floyd | Sometimes a banana is just a banana. This is one of those times. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "hmm" | |||
| inky asks, "golden banana?" | ||||
| Alex says (to inky), "Awwwk! Word on the street is that the Golden Banana is the Golden Banana of Discord, which is the prize traditionally awarded to the Comp game whose voting results have the highest standard deviation." | ||||
| Limax says, "It's a banana for banan man" | ||||
| DavidW says, "It has a peel." | ||||
| Benjor says, "It was gold-colored through the glass, for sure." | ||||
| Jacqueline says (to DW), "Groan" | ||||
| Limax says, "Maybe there will be a Keystone moment later" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take banana" | ||||
Floyd | Fetched. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "hang picture" | ||||
Floyd | What do you want to hang the portrait on? Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "wall" | ||||
Floyd | Muddy walks over to the portrait and hangs it on the wall, calling Floyd | back to you, "Do this look centered?" Floyd | Floyd | You regard the portait critically, "A little more to the left." Floyd | Floyd | "Good?" Floyd | Floyd | "A little more..." Floyd | Floyd | "Now?" Floyd | Floyd | "There. I'd say it's well-hung." Floyd | Floyd | Muddy raises his eyebrows, but doesn't say anything. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "har" | |||
| Limax asks, "Hm?" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "eat banana" | ||||
Floyd | You eat the banana, peel and all. Because cowboys are made of stern Floyd | stuff and need the fiber. Floyd | Floyd | > | Jacqueline says, "heh heh" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "undo" | ||||
Floyd | office Floyd | You done backtracked some. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW asks, "so, do we just go?" | |||
| DavidW asks, "Where's our loot?" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "peel banana" | ||||
Floyd | That ain't no verb I got knowledge of. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x desk" | ||||
Floyd | A beat-up old wooden desk with time-worn corners, and a pitted, Floyd | scratched surface. The rear of the desk has a drawer with a small Floyd | lock. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "unlock drawer with key" | ||||
Floyd | You unlock the drawer. Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW says, "ah." | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "open drawer" | ||||
Floyd | You open the drawer, revealing a folder. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "get folder" | ||||
Floyd | Fetched. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "xit" | ||||
Floyd | That ain't no verb I got knowledge of. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x it" | ||||
Floyd | (first opening the folder) Floyd | A manila cardboard folder containing a telegram, a patent, a note, and Floyd | a receipt. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "read telegram" | ||||
Floyd | It says: "AGREE TO YOUR OFFER [STOP] WILL SUPPLY MACHINE PARTS IN Floyd | EXCHANGE FOR 5000 US DOLLARS IN SILVER COIN [STOP] CONGRATULATIONS ON Floyd | WINNING LOTTERY [STOP] SIGNED JEFFRIES & BRAND STEAMWORKS CO LTD Floyd | [STOP][END]". Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "ha ha" | |||
| inky says, "we stole that fair and square" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x patent" | ||||
Floyd | A thick technical document describing the coffee machine invented by Floyd | the sheriff. Reading through it, you can see his plans to make these Floyd | machines in factories and to sell them throughout the country. Your Floyd | mind reels in horror at the prospect of coffee shops on every street Floyd | corner selling fancy, steamed beverages. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x note" | ||||
Floyd | The note is written in a flowing cursive script. It reads: Floyd | Floyd | "Dear Sam, I can't go on like this. When you were just a plain old Floyd | sheriff that was one thing, but since you started inventing stuff, I Floyd | can see what you are made of. A man that kicks my dog isn't cut out Floyd | for marrying anyone. I thought you were an honest lawman, but I can Floyd | see what you've become. Don't come around no more or my pa might just Floyd | take a disliking to you. I was going to send you my ring, but I found Floyd | out it was glass. Why am I not surprised? You are a scoundrel and not Floyd | fit to wear that uniform. Floyd | Floyd | Explicitly not yours, Floyd | Floyd | Ella". Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "x receipt" | ||||
Floyd | A receipt from Jeffries & Brand Steam Works Co Ltd of Witchita Falls. Floyd | The receipt is for four hundred dollars worth of pipes and fittings Floyd | purchased by Sheriff Sam Cheney of Crawdad's Gulch. At the bottom of Floyd | the note, written in red is the following postscriptum: "Your account Floyd | with us is severely in arrears. No further credit will be extended. Floyd | Remit all payments immediately or we will take legal or other actions Floyd | as required.". Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| maga arrives, ready to play with the toys. | DavidW says, "That sherrif is dun crooked!" | |||
| Jacqueline says, "man" | ||||
| DavidW asks, "Show all this to the deputy?" | ||||
| Touchy asks, "a'ight what now?" | ||||
| Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "save" | Jacqueline says, "oops" | |||
| Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "kfdklj" | ||||
Floyd | Enter saved game to store: Ok. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "SAVE" | ||||
| Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "cf3" | ||||
Floyd | Enter saved game to store: Ok. Floyd | Floyd | > | Jacqueline says, "Now show him." | |||
| Limax asks, "What the heck is kfdklj?" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "show telegram to deputy" | ||||
Floyd | (first taking the telegram) Floyd | The marshal demands, "As the senior lawman present, I must be the one Floyd | to examine all evidence." Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Benjor says, "uhoh" | Jacqueline says (to Limax), "It's me typing randomly because I'd saved wrong." | |||
| Limax says, "Heh" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "give telegram to deputy" | ||||
Floyd | The deputy don't seem interested. Floyd | Floyd | > | Limax asks, "When did the Marshal arrive?" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take all from envelope" | ||||
Floyd | You can't take but one thing at a time. You ain't no juggler. Floyd | Floyd | > | Touchy asks, "where d that marshal come from?" | |||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "x marshal" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't able to see no such thing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Benjor says, "bug" | dhakajack says, "no -- sorry, it's a bug." | |||
| Limax asks, "The Marshal's a bug?" | ||||
| Benjor files it stat | ||||
| dhakajack says, "This is one that's been reported but not fixed yet." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "show note to deputy" | ||||
Floyd | (first taking the note) Floyd | The marshal demands, "As the senior lawman present, I must be the one Floyd | to examine all evidence." Floyd | Floyd | > | Benjor unfiles it | |||
| Touchy says (to Floyd), "show note to marshal" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't able to see no such thing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "show envelope to deputy" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't able to see no such thing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "i" | ||||
Floyd | You're carrying a note, a telegram, a folder, a banana, a warrant, a Floyd | small brass key, a gray tube, a spoon, a harmonica, a spur, a tin, a Floyd | pamphlet, your pocketwatch, your hat, and a scrap of paper. You are Floyd | wearing your right boot, left boot, pants, and overcoat. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Touchy says (to Floyd), "play harmonica" | ||||
Floyd | You blow a few more notes, but you're not getting any better. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "show folder to deputy" | ||||
Floyd | The marshal demands, "As the senior lawman present, I must be the one Floyd | to examine all evidence." Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "we could try leaving, and perhaps we'll get captured" | |||
| inky says, "and then have to talk our way out" | ||||
| Touchy says (to Floyd), "give folder to deputy" | ||||
Floyd | The deputy don't seem interested. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "show folder to marshal" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't able to see no such thing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "look in folder" | ||||
Floyd | In the folder are a patent and a receipt. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "show folder to sheriff" | ||||
Floyd | You ain't able to see no such thing. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take all from folder" | ||||
Floyd | You can't take but one thing at a time. You ain't no juggler. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take patent" | ||||
Floyd | Fetched. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "take receipt" | ||||
Floyd | Fetched. Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "show patent to deputy" | ||||
Floyd | The marshal demands, "As the senior lawman present, I must be the one Floyd | to examine all evidence." Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "ask deputy about silver" | ||||
Floyd | The marshal interjects, "I am the senior lawman present. The prisoners Floyd | will address their remarks to me." Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "tell deputy about patent" | Benjor continues to blush | |||
Floyd | The marshal interjects, "Address your remarks to me." Floyd | Floyd | > | Limax smacks the marshal bug | |||
| DavidW says, "hmph" | ||||
| dhakajack face palms | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "l" | ||||
Floyd | Office Floyd | There's a big, wooden desk in the middle of the room. Just behind the Floyd | desk is a fancy cabinet, with real glass in the door. An aesthetically Floyd | questionable portrait of the sheriff hangs on the office wall. To the Floyd | side of the desk, there is a weird-looking contraption: clearly, some Floyd | sort of steam boiler which is connected by pipes to a strange-looking Floyd | machine. On the opposite side of the room, two swinging doors lead Floyd | back to town; a small bell hangs on a hook attached to the door. Floyd | Flash's empty dog food bowl is nailed to the floor just in front of Floyd | your jail cell. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy leans against the wall. Floyd | Floyd | A dented food bowl sits on the office floor, only a few feet from the Floyd | jail bars. Floyd | Floyd | You can also see the deputy here. Floyd | Floyd | A broken stool lies on the floor. Floyd | Floyd | In the corner of the cell, a disheveled man in a black suit is Floyd | stretched out on a crude wooden bench and is snoring loudly, oblivious Floyd | to your presence. Floyd | Floyd | In the jail cell you can also see an empty can (empty). Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| Roger says (to floyd), "talk about patent" | ||||
Floyd | Is you talking plain English? I ain't following the words coming out Floyd | of your lips. Mayhaps it's your accent. Floyd | Floyd | > | Touchy says, "that marshal is pretty persistent for somebody who doesn't exist" | |||
| Benjor says, "Should be easy to fix this bug, tho." | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "out" | ||||
Floyd | Which way? West to the jail cell, or east towards the open range? Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "e" | ||||
Floyd | Muddy relents and says, "All right, Rick. I reckon we done what we can Floyd | do. Let's make for the hills." Floyd | Floyd | As you head out of the office, two men appear in the doorway: Sheriff Floyd | Cheney and Federal Marshal McLuhan. They are followed by a small Floyd | detachment of U.S. Army guards. Floyd | Floyd | Sheriff Cheney surges forward, pointing his finger at you and Muddy, Floyd | "It were these two what blown up that train tunnel! They's escaping Floyd | when we walked in! Look, they done killed my deputy! We should drop Floyd | 'em where they stand." Floyd | Floyd | The marshal looks uncertain and waves the army guards forward. They Floyd | train their pistols on you. Floyd | Floyd | The marshal rests his hand on the sheriff's trigger arm and says, Floyd | "Sheriff, without any evidence to substantiate your accusation Floyd | regarding the train robbery, I was reluctant to see these men hanged Floyd | without a trial. Given the corpse of a lawman in front of us, though, Floyd | even I have to agree that justice should be swift and definitive in Floyd | this instance." Floyd | Floyd | > | DavidW asks, "We're good at breaking games, aren't we?" | |||
| DavidW says, "We broke Slap That Fish too." | ||||
| Jacqueline says, "heh. Yes. Yes, we are." | ||||
| Jacqueline says, "Group hug, everyone!" | ||||
| Benjor exclaims, "Not done yet!" | ||||
| Roger says, "I hope there's going to be a 'well, yes, I did shoot the sheriff... but I ain't never shot the deputy' quip in here" | ||||
| Benjor close, though. | DavidW says, "hooray, Marshal has arrived!" | |||
| Limax says (to DavidW), "We have a good group with lots of betatesting experience" | ||||
| Benjor signs everyone up as future testers | ||||
| Jacqueline says (to Roger), "I am hating you right now, just so you know." | ||||
| Roger cries! | ||||
| Limax asks, "Corpse???" | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "give receipt to marshal" | ||||
Floyd | You show the marshal the receipt and suggest that the sheriff is quite Floyd | in debt, and might turn to illegal activities to pay it off. Floyd | Floyd | The marshal looks disappointed and says, "Being in debt is no crime, Floyd | although it does eat away at the soul. Once, I went an entire week Floyd | owing more than five dollars, and I regret it to this day. However, Floyd | there is nothing to suggest that the sheriff has resorted to any Floyd | illegal measures to fund his plans." Floyd | Floyd | Muddy whispers, "Rick, we ain't got long. I reckon that marshal is Floyd | someone what can be reasoned with." Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "give patent to marshal" | ||||
Floyd | You show the patent to the marshal and intimate that the sheriff had Floyd | extensive business plans, far beyond his mandate as a public servant. Floyd | Floyd | The marshal flips through the patent for the sheriff's invention and Floyd | looks at you questioningly. Floyd | Floyd | "So?" he asks. "It seems like a clever enough invention, and I presume Floyd | this work was not done on public time, or using town resources. I also Floyd | would guess that he will need some big-time investors to put a plan Floyd | like this into action, but I don't see anything wrong with that. The Floyd | sheriff's a businessman pure and simple. There isn't anything more Floyd | American than a man willing to make a profit, when the profit is there Floyd | for the taking." Floyd | Floyd | The marshal advises, "Citizens, I am required by federal law as it Floyd | applies to the Territory to advise you that CAPITAL CHARGES have been Floyd | filed against you, and summary execution will take place, unless Floyd | evidence to the contrary can be brought to light." Floyd | Floyd | The sheriff rolls his eyes, "For the sake of all that's Hog-Tied and Floyd | Rightful, whyn't we shoot 'em dead right here?" Floyd | Floyd | The marshal looks at Sheriff Cheney and answers, "Because some of us Floyd | believe in maintaining some semblance of due process." Floyd | Floyd | > | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "give note to marshal" | ||||
Floyd | The marshal reads the note and then looks up. He says evenly, "While Floyd | this does speak unkindly of the sheriff, his personal life does not Floyd | interest me. The content of this note is not germane to the matter at Floyd | hand." Floyd | Floyd | The sheriff wholeheartedly agrees, "Exactly. You is exactly right, Floyd | marshal." Floyd | Floyd | The marshal looks back at the sheriff with a hint of annoyance. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy whispers, "We got to show that marshal something. I reckon maybe Floyd | we could make up some kind of excuse or shift the blame, maybe." Floyd | Floyd | > | Jacqueline says, "I quite unexpectedly found myself singing 'I shot the sherrif' out loud in that whiny, high-pitched voice the backup singers use on that song. I am not pleased with you right now, Roger. Not pleased at all." | |||
| inky says, "ha ha" | ||||
| Roger says, "Ever heard Marge Simpson's version? That's something to behold." | ||||
| DavidW says (to Floyd), "give telegram to marshal" | ||||
Floyd | You show the telegram to Marshal McLuhan, telling him that he'll find Floyd | the sheriff's stagecoach full of stolen silver just behind the jail. Floyd | Floyd | Sheriff Cheney wipes his brow nervously, "I forgot that's where we Floyd | left that coach. I do reckon I'm always forgetting where I park. I was Floyd | going to mention the silver as evidence any second now." Floyd | Floyd | The marshal dispatches two guards to search behind the office, and Floyd | when they return with corroboration about the stolen silver, the Floyd | marshal instructs his guards to restrain and disarm the sheriff, Floyd | concluding, "So, now it is clear. The sheriff took advantage of the Floyd | railway incident to rob the train's silver himself in order to finance Floyd | the development of his invention into a business. He framed these two Floyd | itinerant laborers to shift the blame. No wonder he wanted them killed Floyd | so quickly." Floyd | Floyd | The marshal rips the gold star off Sheriff Cheney's shirt and Floyd | instructs the guards, "Place Mr. Cheney behind bars." Floyd | Floyd | With a wide yawn, Pastor Pete walks out of the cell as the guards Floyd | wrestle the sheriff past him. "I do reckon I slept like the dead last Floyd | night. Thank you for a peaceful night, deputy," and he walks out the Floyd | front door. Floyd | Floyd | The marshal raises his eyebrows but continues, "Deputy James Smith Floyd | Bush, by the power invested in me as federal marshal of this district, Floyd | I hereby promote you to Sheriff of the Town of Crawdad's Gulch. Floyd | Congratulations." The newly appointed sheriff grins and shakes his Floyd | hand. The marshal almost pins the star to Jimbo's bare chest, but Floyd | stops short and just hands it to him. The marshal advises him, "James, Floyd | you'll probably want to get yourself some deputies -- men you can Floyd | trust." Floyd | Floyd | Sheriff Jim looks over to you and Muddy. The color drains from Muddy's Floyd | face. Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by five] Floyd | Floyd | *** YOU WIN *** Floyd | Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, see some suggestions Floyd | for AMUSING things to do, or QUIT? Floyd | > | Limax asks, "What about getting that machine going again?" | |||
| Jacqueline says, "w00t" | ||||
| Benjor exclaims, "ooh ooh! amusing!" | ||||
| Benjor says, "you gotta try the easter eggs. :-)" | ||||
| dhakajack says, "Good work, everyone." | ||||
| Roger asks, "Did we ever get to drink some coffee?" | ||||
| Benjor says, "or rather, the easter-egg alternate endings." | ||||
| Limax says, "Ha ha" | ||||
| Limax asks (of Benjor), "Are they tasty?" | ||||
| Ellison says, "ha ha Bush and Cheney" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "amusing" | ||||
Floyd | Congratulations, partner. That sure could have turned a whole mess Floyd | more ugly, but you came out of it with your neck. Before you ride off Floyd | into the sunset, why don't you rest your eyeballs on some of the stuff Floyd | in the game that maybe you ain't run into: Floyd | Floyd | * There are three ways of driving the deputy out of the jail; how many Floyd | did you find? Floyd | Floyd | * Did you try reading the initials engraved on the stool? Repeatedly? Floyd | Floyd | Some other random trivia: Floyd | Floyd | * The game is set in the Indian Territory, which would later become Floyd | the Oklahoma territory and subsequently the state. How many references Floyd | can you find to the musical "Oklahoma!"? Floyd | Floyd | * In the real Old West, it wouldn't have made any sense to put beans Floyd | in a can. They were a cheap staple, transported dry, likely in sacks. Floyd | Floyd | * Boot spurs were referred to as "can openers" in the Old West. Floyd | Really. Floyd | Floyd | * The transcontinental railroad was completed in 1869, but it crossed Floyd | two states to the north of Oklahoma. The first railroads in Oklahoma Floyd | were built in 1870, and the state wasn't crossed until 1871. Floyd | Floyd | * The espresso machine was invented in 1901 in Italy, but we figured Floyd | that so many Old West movies came from Italy, that it would look Floyd | natural enough in our story. Floyd | Floyd | * The slang "hoosegow" comes from the Spanish juzgado, which was a Floyd | type of judge tribunal. Floyd | Floyd | Finally, if you've read this far down the page, you deserve to know Floyd | about the "EASTER EGG" command, which will reveal several alternate Floyd | endings to the story. Explore them at your own risk. Floyd | Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, see some suggestions Floyd | for AMUSING things to do, or QUIT? Floyd | > | dhakajack says, "Actually, you don't get to drink the coffee -- the machine is broken when Flash runs off, neatly sidestepping that issue." | |||
| Benjor says, "some of Jack's best writing, methinks" | ||||
| inky says, "more an espresso western than a spaghetti western, hunh" | ||||
| Benjor exclaims, "easter egg!" | ||||
| Jacqueline says, "haha about the espresso machine" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "easter egg" | ||||
Floyd | Enough of your blatheration. Give one of them answers from above. Floyd | Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, see some suggestions Floyd | for AMUSING things to do, or QUIT? Floyd | > | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "undo" | ||||
Floyd | | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "easter egg" | ||||
Floyd | Enough of your blatheration. Give one of them answers from above. Floyd | Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, see some suggestions Floyd | for AMUSING things to do, or QUIT? Floyd | > | inky says, "bah" | |||
| Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "/undo" | ||||
| inky says (to Floyd), "undo" | ||||
Floyd | Floyd | | ||||
| Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "/undo" | ||||
Floyd | office Floyd | You done backtracked some. Floyd | Floyd | > | inky says, "good idea" | |||
| Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "easter egg" | ||||
Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | > Planned Parenthood Floyd | PC Floyd | A Flare For Design Floyd | Range Rover Floyd | Just Visiting | Jacqueline says, "Oh dear." | |||
| inky presses the yellow enter button. | ||||
Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | The sheriff enters the office, shotgun in hand. You and Muddy freeze Floyd | in your tracks and raise your hands in the air. The sheriff kicks the Floyd | prone deputy, who stirs slowly at first, but then jumps to his feet. Floyd | Floyd | "You." The sheriff points at you. "Your name Muddy?" Floyd | Floyd | "No. I ain't Muddy," you reply. "That there is Muddy. I is Rick." Floyd | Floyd | "Damn. What were she thinking?" growls the sheriff. "Mary Sue, you Floyd | come on in here now, you hear?" Floyd | Floyd | A young woman -- you hesistate to guess her actual age on account of Floyd | propriety -- edges nervously into the office, her eyes cast to the Floyd | ground. By the way she walks, you guess she is in a family way, and Floyd | after she turns towards Muddy, there's no question. Judging by the Floyd | size of her belly, you'd have to say five, maybe six months. She Floyd | raises her eyes to Muddy and her face brightens. Floyd | Floyd | "Oh, Lordie," mutters Muddy, closing his eyes and running his hand Floyd | over his face. "The one thing I don't plan -- and look what happens." Floyd | Floyd | Lowering the shotgun, the sheriff walks over and puts his arm around Floyd | Muddy's shoulders. Distributing cigars to you and the deputy, he Floyd | smiles, "Deputy Jimbo, Rick -- I'd like you to meet my new son-in-law, Floyd | Muddy. Ain't that right, Muddy?" Floyd | Floyd | "I do reckon it's better than a-hanging." Floyd | Floyd | Muddy never sees it coming. Mary Sue's roundhouse punch lands square Floyd | on his jaw, launching him towards the jail bars like a sack of Floyd | potatoes. Floyd | Floyd | "Well," you observe, "maybe this marriage just might work out." Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Please press SPACE to continue. | Limax asks, "Uh what?" | |||
| Roger says, "Gosh dang it" | ||||
| Benjor says, "PC is my favorite evar." | ||||
| Limax says, "That's a ref to Oklahoma, if I recall" | ||||
| Jacqueline says, "ah" | ||||
| Jacqueline pushes the green 'space' button. | ||||
Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | > Planned Parenthood Floyd | PC Floyd | A Flare For Design Floyd | Range Rover Floyd | Just Visiting Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | > Planned Parenthood Floyd | PC Floyd | A Flare For Design Floyd | Range Rover Floyd | Just Visiting | ||||
| Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "/undo" | ||||
Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | > Planned Parenthood Floyd | PC Floyd | A Flare For Design Floyd | Range Rover Floyd | Just Visiting | Jacqueline says, "Oh wait." | |||
| inky says (to Floyd), "n" | ||||
Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Planned Parenthood Floyd | > PC Floyd | A Flare For Design Floyd | Range Rover Floyd | Just Visiting Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Planned Parenthood Floyd | > PC Floyd | A Flare For Design Floyd | Range Rover Floyd | Just Visiting | ||||
| inky presses the yellow enter button. | ||||
Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | The sheriff's wheelchair rolls up the front ramp, and he enters the Floyd | office with his multicultural posse, who represent the diverse members Floyd | of the community of Endangered Arthropod Valley. Two of the named Floyd | women in his posse discuss a subject other than men. The sheriff draws Floyd | a nonlethal weapon that has not been tested on animals, and waves it Floyd | in a non-threatening manner at you and your partner. Floyd | Floyd | The deputy finishes his yoga stretches and stands up, draining his Floyd | bottle of health water and setting the recyclable bottle on the Floyd | renewable hardwood desk. "Sheriff, we had a right pleasant evening, Floyd | and I reckon these gentlemen is sincerely regretful of their Floyd | wrongdoings." Floyd | Floyd | The sheriff agrees, "I do reckon, but they still got to repay their Floyd | crime, even if the blame for that crime ultimately rests on society Floyd | itself, and is the result of a poor educational system and the lack of Floyd | adequate social welfare and state institutions." Floyd | Floyd | The deputy nods sagely, "How about some community service? The Floyd | Gunslinger's Significant Other Association runs a camp for autistic Floyd | spectrum disorder orphan Native Americans on the outskirts of town. I Floyd | reckon they could use a hand running their cruelty-free all-vegetarian Floyd | farm." Floyd | Floyd | There is a murmur of agreement from the posse, and the sheriff claps Floyd | the deputy on his back. "That's mighty forward thinking of you, Floyd | James." Floyd | Floyd | Muddy gives you a distressed look and asks the sheriff, "I reckon I'd Floyd | prefer the hanging. Is that still an option?" Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Please press SPACE to continue. | Benjor says, "lol" | |||
| Roger says, "So mean, but funny" | ||||
| Touchy says, "hrhr" | ||||
| Limax says, "Oh man" | ||||
| inky says, "har" | ||||
| Touchy asks, "what's the pc stand for?" | ||||
| Alex says (to Touchy), "Awwwk! Word on the street is that PC is Player Character. Furthermore, a Pisser is a PC." | ||||
| Limax says, "Politically Correct" | ||||
| maga says (to Touchy), "politically correct" | ||||
| Touchy says, "ah" | ||||
| Touchy says, "hehe" | ||||
| Jacqueline pushes the green 'space' button. | ||||
Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Planned Parenthood Floyd | > PC Floyd | A Flare For Design Floyd | Range Rover Floyd | Just Visiting Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Planned Parenthood Floyd | > PC Floyd | A Flare For Design Floyd | Range Rover Floyd | Just Visiting | dhakajack says, "It's probably coincidence, since this is all fictional, but historically, there was a James Bush and Sam Cheney in the US at this time... remote ancestors of the more familiar comedy duo." | |||
| DavidW says, "ha ha" | ||||
| Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "n" | ||||
Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Planned Parenthood Floyd | PC Floyd | > A Flare For Design Floyd | Range Rover Floyd | Just Visiting Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Planned Parenthood Floyd | PC Floyd | > A Flare For Design Floyd | Range Rover Floyd | Just Visiting | ||||
| Jacqueline presses the yellow enter button. | ||||
Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | The sheriff strolls into the office and immediately notices the Floyd | portrait. Hands on his hips, he admires the painting. "I declare, that Floyd | *do* make the office. It breaks up that entire space. That wall were Floyd | so stark and empty before you done hung it. I owe you two a debt of Floyd | sincere gratitude." Floyd | Floyd | Muddy considers the painting as well and then looks around the room. Floyd | "That seemed the right place to hang it, considering you got all them Floyd | wood tones in the desk and the cabinet, and yonder doorway gives that Floyd | area a bright, natural light most of the day." Floyd | Floyd | The deputy stirs. "Yeah," he adds, "It's a shame we don't got no Floyd | windows in the office, excepting in the jail cell. I reckon we could Floyd | knock out that front wall and put in a bay window, maybe add a window Floyd | treatment that would soften the room a jot. Also, how about a stencil? Floyd | Something rustic, running as a trim, just below the ceiling." Floyd | Floyd | You brew four cups of dark, whole-bodied espresso, sprinkling the top Floyd | with nutmeg. The steam curls upward and fills the room with a rich Floyd | aroma. You settle down on the plush wraparound couch that has appeared Floyd | in the office and join the sheriff, the deputy and Muddy in browsing Floyd | through a book of fabric swatches. Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Please press SPACE to continue. | Jacqueline says, "I almost typed 'press yeller'" | |||
| Jacqueline says, "Seriously." | ||||
| inky says, "ha ha" | ||||
| maga says, "oh man, we should have played this after Jacq's had a couple glasses of bourbon" | ||||
| Limax says, "Ha ha" | ||||
| Benjor says, "awesome." | ||||
| DavidW says, "I love these alternate endings." | ||||
| Touchy says, "haha nice" | ||||
| zarf asks, "Shouldn't that be 'flair'?" | ||||
| maga says, "why do we have to have these things in the morning, I ask ya" | ||||
| Benjor says (to Jacqueline), "see [LINK] for inspiration" | ||||
| Touchy says (to maga), "because it's 9:42pm in the not morning" | ||||
| Jacqueline pushes the green 'space' button. | ||||
Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Planned Parenthood Floyd | PC Floyd | > A Flare For Design Floyd | Range Rover Floyd | Just Visiting Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Planned Parenthood Floyd | PC Floyd | > A Flare For Design Floyd | Range Rover Floyd | Just Visiting | dhakajack says, "yup flare -> flair." | |||
| Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "n" | ||||
Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Planned Parenthood Floyd | PC Floyd | A Flare For Design Floyd | > Range Rover Floyd | Just Visiting Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Planned Parenthood Floyd | PC Floyd | A Flare For Design Floyd | > Range Rover Floyd | Just Visiting | ||||
| Jacqueline presses the yellow enter button. | ||||
Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | The waving fields of wheat are incinerated in the actinic flame of Floyd | fusion rocket exhaust as a quarter-mile long football-shaped metal Floyd | ship extends its landing pylons and sets down across the street from Floyd | the sheriff's office. Floyd | Floyd | The sheriff is transfixed by the sight, and the marshal faints Floyd | outright. Floyd | Floyd | A gangplank extends and a massive cargo door rolls open. A woman in a Floyd | blue flight suit is followed down the ramp by an energetic white dog Floyd | with black spots. She walks to the office and stares at Muddy. Floyd | Floyd | "Janet?" croaks Muddy dryly. "I didn't expect to see you around these Floyd | parts." Floyd | Floyd | "I bet you didn't," she replies matter-of-factly. "We have a situation Floyd | in The Belt, grab your saddle bag." Floyd | Floyd | "I got a buddy, Janet. He's real good with a gun and plays a mean Floyd | harmonica." Muddy turns to you, "Janet, this here is Rick." Floyd | Floyd | Janet nods and is already walking back to the ship before you can so Floyd | much as say "howdy". Floyd | Floyd | "What's with her?" you ask. Floyd | Floyd | Muddy sighs. "It's complicated, I reckon." Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Please press SPACE to continue. | Benjor says (to dhakajack), "a legit typo? I thought it was intentional..." | |||
| dhakajack says, "Oh yeah, sure. That's what I meant...intentional. But I filed it in the bug tracker anyhow." | ||||
| Benjor coughs | ||||
| Roger says, "Not even one slashfic ending. Probably for the best." | ||||
| zarf asks, "so is Janet is reference to anything?" | ||||
| inky says, "we still got one more" | ||||
| Touchy says, "One more..." | ||||
| Jacqueline pushes the green 'space' button. | ||||
Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Planned Parenthood Floyd | PC Floyd | A Flare For Design Floyd | > Range Rover Floyd | Just Visiting Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Planned Parenthood Floyd | PC Floyd | A Flare For Design Floyd | > Range Rover Floyd | Just Visiting | ||||
| Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "n" | ||||
Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Planned Parenthood Floyd | PC Floyd | A Flare For Design Floyd | Range Rover Floyd | > Just Visiting Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Planned Parenthood Floyd | PC Floyd | A Flare For Design Floyd | Range Rover Floyd | > Just Visiting | ||||
| Jacqueline presses the yellow enter button. | Benjor says, ""slashfic?"" | |||
Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | The sheriff walks into the office, followed closely by the marshal. Floyd | The marshal trains his pistol on you while the sheriff examines the Floyd | deputy, who is stretched out on the floor. Floyd | Floyd | "He ain't dead," the sheriff observes. "But he like as hit his head on Floyd | the bars. Wait a minute." The sheriff leans closer to the prone body. Floyd | "This ain't right. Where he lost some skin, I see scales. Like he were Floyd | a lizard, or something." Floyd | Floyd | The marshal hisses and swings his gun to cover the sheriff. The Floyd | hissing is echoed by the cadre of soldiers behind the marshal. Floyd | Floyd | The marshal replies, "A regrettable observation, earthman." He beckons Floyd | some guards forwards. "Glulx, take the sheriff and lock him up. Glk Floyd | and Zil, you go out back and take charge of those iridium discs in the Floyd | stagecoach." Swinging the gun back to you and Muddy, he drawls, "Now, Floyd | as for you two..." Floyd | Floyd | Muddy laughs lightly and pushes the gun aside, "Heck, Zilch, it's me, Floyd | Ifmud, and this here's Rixyzzy. We was sent after that iridium our own Floyd | selves, but we got captured by the earthmen. Good thing I had a backup Floyd | plan!" Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Floyd | Please press SPACE to continue. | dhakajack says, "The Range Rover ending is a self-referential tie-in to Rover's Day Out. Janet is a key character." | |||
| Roger says, "In which Rick and Muddy profess their deep and carnal passion for one another." | ||||
| zarf says, "oops" | ||||
| inky says, "ha ha" | ||||
| dhakajack says, "The lizard ending was added when Jenny (of pissy sausage fame) suggested that the story needed more lizard men." | ||||
| zarf asks, "Rover's Day Out is on my list for this weekend, did I mention?" | ||||
| inky says, "I guess so" | ||||
| dhakajack says, "ah, great." | ||||
| Touchy says, "oh my" | ||||
| Benjor says (to zarf), "and dual transform is on my weekend list. :-)" | ||||
| zarf says, "heh" | ||||
| dhakajack says, "RDO is a lot more debugged than this one. We really had to book to get this in on time." | ||||
| Touchy says, "Well, this was fun." | ||||
| Benjor says (to zarf), "though I tried Shade last week and it gave me nightmares." | ||||
| inky says, "yeah, nice work, guys" | ||||
| dhakajack says, "tnx" | ||||
| Touchy says, "I missed half of it but the other half was fun." | ||||
| DavidW says, "Twas fun." | ||||
| Jacqueline says, "What was that TV series with the lizardme- AH RIGHT... V" | ||||
| Benjor exclaims, "You guys are great testers!" | ||||
| Touchy says, "Though I kind of missed the bigger half. *snkr*" | ||||
| Roger says, "Yep; your win was well-deserved." | ||||
| Limax says, "Did we hit all of them. I missed the flare one" | ||||
| Benjor hears zarf's game was amazing | ||||
| Touchy asks (of Roger), "What did it win?" | ||||
| Roger says, "Flare/flair was an interior-decorating riff." | ||||
| dhakajack exclaims, "Thanks for running this on CF -- Looking forward to seeing everyone that can make it to PAX -- cheers!" | ||||
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