ClubFloyd Transcript:
Some Random 2011 Games by Various Authors
As played on ifMUD on January 29, 2012

The idea behind ClubFloyd is that each week at a pre-arranged time, a group of people meet online to cooperatively play a game of interactive fiction.

Below is a transcript of Pigpancake by Aubra Penner, Moonwrecked by Colin Sandel and Carolyn VanEseltine, Hangar 22 by Rob O'Hara, and Ecto Horror by Jon Blask (writing as "Roody Yogurt"). The only real common thread between these games is that they were all originally released during 2011. You can learn more about these games, including how to download them, by visiting their sites on the ifWiki: Pigpancake, Moonwrecked, Hangar 22, and Ecto Horror.

If you would like to jump straight to a particular game in the transcript, please click its title:
Pigpancake by Aubra Penner
Moonwrecked by Colin Sandel and Carolyn VanEseltine
Hangar 22 by Rob O'Hara
Ecto Horror by Jonathan Blask as "Roody Yogurt"

WARNING! Below you will find a transcript of people playing this game, and it goes without saying that the transcript is full of spoilers. So, if you've never played this game, and think you might like to at some point, I do not recommend reading any further. Instead, you might want to return to the interactive fiction page.

Floyd | Welcome to the Cheap Glk Implementation, library version 0.9.0.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | pigpancake
Floyd | An Interactive Fiction by Aubra Penner
Floyd | Release 1 / Serial number 110410 / Inform 7 build 5Z71 (I6/v6.31 lib
Floyd | 6/12N)
Floyd |
Floyd | Farm
Floyd | Leaves rustle in the spring breeze, and the soft calls of distant birds
Floyd | add a pleasant background. The barnyard is filled with muck. Nearby, a
Floyd | splintery old post juts from the mud. A rusty old cowbell hangs from
Floyd | the post.
Floyd |
Floyd | A perky pink pig is sleeping in the ooze nearby.
Floyd |
Floyd | A lunchbox lies forlornly on the ground.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | As good-looking as ever.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You are carrying nothing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | It's a post. What more do you want?
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The pig twitches and grumbles in his sleep, oblivious to the outside
Floyd | world.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The pig sighs happily, unperturbed.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by five points.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | It's a plain tin lunchbox. There may once have been some sort of
Floyd | cartoon character on the front, but the paint wore off long ago.  It is
Floyd | tightly latched.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | I didn't understand that sentence.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by five points.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | In the lunchbox is a pancake.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | (first taking the pancake)
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |     *** Taste that? That's the flavor of greed and shame. Enjoy your
Floyd | pancake, because the pig certainly won't. ***
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | In that game you scored 15 out of a possible 25, in 9 turns.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game or QUIT?
Floyd | >

Floyd | Farm
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | (first taking the pancake)
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |     *** Congratulations! You have given a pig a pancake! ***
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | In that game you scored 20 out of a possible 25, in 9 turns.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game or QUIT?
Floyd | >

Floyd | Farm
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG!
Floyd | The pig leaps to his feet with a grunt, and glances around warily.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by five points.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's hardly portable.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You seem to want to talk to someone, but I can't see whom.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | I didn't understand that sentence.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The pig ignores you, snorting forlornly at the mud.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | (first taking the pig)
Floyd | The pig ignores you, snorting forlornly at the mud.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The pig ignores you, snorting forlornly at the mud.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The pig ignores you, snorting forlornly at the mud.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Farm
Floyd | Leaves rustle in the spring breeze, and the soft calls of distant birds
Floyd | add a pleasant background. The barnyard is filled with muck. Nearby, a
Floyd | splintery old post juts from the mud. A rusty old cowbell hangs from
Floyd | the post.
Floyd |
Floyd | The pig yawns and snuffles about lazily.
Floyd |
Floyd | A lunchbox lies forlornly on the ground.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | But you aren't in anything at the moment.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't go that way.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | (first taking the pancake)
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |     *** Congratulations! You have given a pig a pancake! ***
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | In that game you scored 25 out of a possible 25, in 18 turns.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game or QUIT?
Floyd | >

Floyd | Farm
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Are you sure you want to quit?

Floyd |

Floyd | Welcome to the Cheap Glk Implementation, library version 0.9.0.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | "Please ... please hurry. My suit's almost out of air."
Floyd |
Floyd | "I'm almost to you. I've just left my buggy at the gate you described.
Floyd | How in the world did you find these ruins?"
Floyd |
Floyd | "Keep going ... there's a fountain up ahead. I'm ... leaning against
Floyd | the side facing away from you."
Floyd |
Floyd | "I can see the fountain. I'm approaching you now."
Floyd |
Floyd | "Thank you. Thank you. I thought I was going to die out here."
Floyd |
Floyd | "Uh ... there's nothing here. Is ... are there more fountains?"
Floyd |
Floyd | "..."
Floyd |
Floyd | "Hello?"
Floyd |
Floyd | "Sucker."
Floyd |
Floyd | Your pressure suit's short-range radio goes dead as the communication
Floyd | dies. Then, all you can hear is the sound of your own breathing.
Floyd |
Floyd | Moonwrecked
Floyd | An Interactive Fiction by Colin Sandel and Carolyn VanEseltine
Floyd | Release 1 / Serial number 110309 / Inform 7 build 6G60 (I6/v6.32 lib
Floyd | 6/12N)
Floyd |
Floyd | Plaza
Floyd | Earthlight sheds a dim glow across the tall spire and broad basin of an
Floyd | empty fountain. The fountain is ringed with recessed lamps, but the
Floyd | lamps are currently off. The tall shadows of buildings block out the
Floyd | stars in all directions except west and south (the way you just came).
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see a fountain (empty) here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't see much of yourself through the all-covering pressure suit,
Floyd | and you suppose no one would be able to see much of you, either.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You are carrying:
Floyd |   a pressure suit (being worn)
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | It's a basic but serviceable model - large and bulky, with a built-in
Floyd | short-range radio.  The orange and grey logo of the Prometheus
Floyd | Corporation is printed prominently on the chest.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | This short interactive fiction game was written on Wednesday, March 8,
Floyd | 2011 as a "practice" speed IF prior to PAX East 2011.  We used Glen and
Floyd | Karen Bledsoe's random prompt generator for inspiration at 6:00 PM,
Floyd | discussed our game (and took the subway home, and made dinner, and ate
Floyd | dinner) until 7:50 PM, and then wrote our game from about 8 PM to 11
Floyd | PM.  And then I added this help file.
Floyd |
Floyd | And then we celebrated with ice cream with maple syrup and rum.  (Colin
Floyd | wants you to know about the dessert.  Apparently, it's very important.)
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The fountain is empty.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not something you can enter.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Obscured by the tall buildings of the city, no earthlight illuminates
Floyd | the area. You don't dare face unseen obstacles with no illumination.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | It's absolutely beautiful.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The Earth is too far away.
Floyd |
Floyd | That's hardly portable.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The  Moon's atmosphere is far too thin for you to breathe.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The fountain is empty.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You feel nothing unexpected.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | By the time you make it back to the gate of the mysterious city, you
Floyd | find an unpleasant welcome. Peeling away from the gate in a cloud of
Floyd | moon dust you see a lunar rover emblazoned with the logo of the Titan
Floyd | corporation, an exploratory rival to your own employer. You prepare to
Floyd | sprint to your own buggy, only to discover that it has been badly
Floyd | damaged.
Floyd |
Floyd | Someone, likely the "man in distress" whom you just tried to save, has
Floyd | taken a plasma welder to your buggy. Its tires and radio are completely
Floyd | destroyed, leaving you stranded in this beautiful but empty ruin and
Floyd | completely unable to contact your coworkers in the Prometheus Corp
Floyd | shuttle floating overhead.
Floyd |
Floyd | You look up at the shuttle, plainly visible in the earthlight but too
Floyd | far away to stand any chance of seeing you. You turn back toward the
Floyd | retreating form of the rover, barely visible now. Assured now that you
Floyd | will be stranded here for hours before the shuttle begins to worry
Floyd | about your safety, Titan will report exclusive discovery of this ruin,
Floyd | leaving you and your company in the dust.
Floyd |
Floyd | Immediately your mind begins to race, seeking a way to signal the
Floyd | shuttle. If only that spotlight overhead were pointed upward! If only
Floyd | it were turned on....
Floyd |
Floyd | Near the Gate
Floyd | This is the entrance to the mysterious city where you arrived in
Floyd | response to the distress call.  There is no pressure dome, leaving the
Floyd | dusty streets exposed to near-vacuum, but the buildings have the tall,
Floyd | rectangular shapes familiar to you from the Tokyo skyline.  Only the
Floyd | blue marble of the Earth high above sheds any light on your
Floyd | surroundings.
Floyd |
Floyd | There's a doorless building to the east.
Floyd |
Floyd | A massive gate stands wide open to the south.  A waist-high pedestal
Floyd | stands at the center of the gate, apparently preventing it from ever
Floyd | closing.  There is a tall spotlight nearby, but the spotlight is off.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see a moon buggy (empty) here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The spotlight is mounted on a tall pole and pointed down at the vacant
Floyd | pedestal.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You don't see a power switch on the spotlight.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | (the moon buggy)
Floyd | Your simple but trusty moon buggy is out of commission. Its tires have
Floyd | been utterly slagged under plasma fire, its rims partially melted and
Floyd | resting in the dust. While the battery housing is still intact and the
Floyd | dashboard controls look like they probably work, your saboteur took
Floyd | pains to specifically melt the long-range radio transmitter.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The dashboard is mostly intact, though it looks like your friend from
Floyd | Titan decided to shoot a hole in your radio controls, rendering them as
Floyd | useless as the transmitter. The only thing you could really operate to
Floyd | any effect at this point are the headlights.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The headlight switch is currently in the "off" position.
Floyd |
Floyd | The headlight switch is currently switched off.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The headlights of the ruined buggy flare to life, casting light into
Floyd | the opening of the building to the east.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You see nothing special about the pedestal.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not something you can enter.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | I don't think much is to be achieved by that.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | It won't budge from its current position.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Maintenance Recess
Floyd | This building is more like an alcove - hardly big enough to call itself
Floyd | a building at all, for all that it has three walls and a doorway
Floyd | leading back outside.
Floyd |
Floyd | Your buggy's bright headlights are visible through the doorway to the
Floyd | west.
Floyd |
Floyd | There's a control panel mounted to the back of the wall.  In the dim
Floyd | radiance cast by the buggy's headlights, you can make out three
Floyd | switches on the panel.  The switches are labelled "Gate", "Plaza", and
Floyd | "Residential".
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Nothing obvious happens.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Which do you mean, the power switch labelled "Gate", the power switch
Floyd | labelled "Residential" or the power switch labelled "Plaza"?
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | There are three switches on the panel.  All three switches are in the
Floyd | OFF position.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | As you flip the switch to provide power to the gate, a bright light
Floyd | comes on from behind you, where you left your buggy.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | As you flip the switch to provide power to the plaza, the gate power
Floyd | switch clicks off.
Floyd |
Floyd | As you flip the switch to provide power to the residential area, the
Floyd | plaza power switch clicks off.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Near the Gate
Floyd | This is the entrance to the mysterious city where you arrived in
Floyd | response to the distress call.  There is no pressure dome, leaving the
Floyd | dusty streets exposed to near-vacuum, but the buildings have the tall,
Floyd | rectangular shapes familiar to you from the Tokyo skyline.  To the
Floyd | north and west, you glimpse a yellow glow.
Floyd |
Floyd | There's a doorless building to the east illuminated dimly by your
Floyd | buggy's headlights.
Floyd |
Floyd | A massive gate stands wide open to the south.  A waist-high pedestal
Floyd | stands at the center of the gate, apparently preventing it from ever
Floyd | closing.  There is a tall spotlight nearby, but the spotlight is off.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see a moon buggy (empty) here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You try a door to the west and find it locked.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Plaza
Floyd | Earthlight sheds a dim glow across the tall spire and broad basin of an
Floyd | empty fountain. The fountain is ringed with recessed lamps, but the
Floyd | lamps are currently off. The tall shadows of buildings block out the
Floyd | stars in all directions except west and south.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see a fountain (empty) here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Residential Quarters
Floyd | Rows of elegantly-designed but otherwise spartan buildings line this
Floyd | road. The lack of any furnishings, vehicles, or signage increases the
Floyd | eerily sparse feel of the place.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see a box of crockery here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | A cardboard box lies on its side on the ground here. Broken ceramic
Floyd | spills from its opening.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You open the box, immediately prompting a small avalanche of broken
Floyd | dishware. Delicately pawing through the rubble, you are able to find
Floyd | only a single intact dish. You pick it up.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The dish is somewhere between a shallow bowl and a high-sided plate.
Floyd | Tiny blue flowers are painted around the edge.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't wear that!
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Enter saved game to store: Ok.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Violence isn't the answer to this one.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You achieve nothing by this.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | A cardboard box lies on its side on the ground here. Broken ceramic
Floyd | spills from its opening.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You sift through the shattered dishware, but find nothing of interest.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | It is fixed in place.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You sift through the shattered dishware, but find nothing of interest.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You are carrying:
Floyd |   a china dish
Floyd |   a pressure suit (being worn)
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You achieve nothing by this.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You carefully set the dish down.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Plaza
Floyd | Earthlight sheds a dim glow across the tall spire and broad basin of an
Floyd | empty fountain. The fountain is ringed with recessed lamps, but the
Floyd | lamps are currently off. The tall shadows of buildings block out the
Floyd | stars in all directions except west and south.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see a fountain (empty) here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Near the Gate
Floyd | This is the entrance to the mysterious city where you arrived in
Floyd | response to the distress call.  There is no pressure dome, leaving the
Floyd | dusty streets exposed to near-vacuum, but the buildings have the tall,
Floyd | rectangular shapes familiar to you from the Tokyo skyline.  To the
Floyd | north and west, you glimpse a yellow glow.
Floyd |
Floyd | There's a doorless building to the east illuminated dimly by your
Floyd | buggy's headlights.
Floyd |
Floyd | A massive gate stands wide open to the south.  A waist-high pedestal
Floyd | stands at the center of the gate, apparently preventing it from ever
Floyd | closing.  There is a tall spotlight nearby, but the spotlight is off.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see a moon buggy (empty) here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Maintenance Recess
Floyd | This building is more like an alcove - hardly big enough to call itself
Floyd | a building at all, for all that it has three walls and a doorway
Floyd | leading back outside.
Floyd |
Floyd | Your buggy's bright headlights are visible through the doorway to the
Floyd | west.
Floyd |
Floyd | There's a control panel mounted to the back of the wall.  In the dim
Floyd | radiance cast by the buggy's headlights, you can make out three
Floyd | switches on the panel.  The switches are labelled "Gate", "Plaza", and
Floyd | "Residential".
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | As you flip the switch to provide power to the plaza, the residential
Floyd | power switch clicks off.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Near the Gate
Floyd | This is the entrance to the mysterious city where you arrived in
Floyd | response to the distress call.  There is no pressure dome, leaving the
Floyd | dusty streets exposed to near-vacuum, but the buildings have the tall,
Floyd | rectangular shapes familiar to you from the Tokyo skyline.  To the
Floyd | north, you see dancing rainbow lights.
Floyd |
Floyd | There's a doorless building to the east illuminated dimly by your
Floyd | buggy's headlights.
Floyd |
Floyd | A massive gate stands wide open to the south.  A waist-high pedestal
Floyd | stands at the center of the gate, apparently preventing it from ever
Floyd | closing.  There is a tall spotlight nearby, but the spotlight is off.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see a moon buggy (empty) here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Plaza
Floyd | A silvery, highly reflective liquid rises from the top of the fountain
Floyd | and flows down into the basin. The recessed lamps produce a panoply of
Floyd | delicate rainbow lights that dance softly around the plaza. The tall
Floyd | shadows of buildings block out the stars in all directions except west
Floyd | and south.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see a fountain (in which is a falling stream of mercury) here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | I only understood you as far as wanting to get the falling stream of
Floyd | mercury.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | (first taking the falling stream of mercury)
Floyd |
Floyd | You hold the china dish underneath the silvery stream. Within a few
Floyd | moments, the concave recess of the dish is filled with the heavy,
Floyd | shining fluid.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Which do you mean, the falling stream of mercury or the pool of
Floyd | mercury?
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | There's nothing suitable to drink here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Which do you mean, the pool of mercury or the falling stream of
Floyd | mercury?
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Plaza
Floyd | A silvery, highly reflective liquid rises from the top of the fountain
Floyd | and flows down into the basin. The recessed lamps produce a panoply of
Floyd | delicate rainbow lights that dance softly around the plaza. The tall
Floyd | shadows of buildings block out the stars in all directions except west
Floyd | and south.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see a fountain (in which is a falling stream of mercury) here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Near the Gate
Floyd | This is the entrance to the mysterious city where you arrived in
Floyd | response to the distress call.  There is no pressure dome, leaving the
Floyd | dusty streets exposed to near-vacuum, but the buildings have the tall,
Floyd | rectangular shapes familiar to you from the Tokyo skyline.  To the
Floyd | north, you see dancing rainbow lights.
Floyd |
Floyd | There's a doorless building to the east illuminated dimly by your
Floyd | buggy's headlights.
Floyd |
Floyd | A massive gate stands wide open to the south.  A waist-high pedestal
Floyd | stands at the center of the gate, apparently preventing it from ever
Floyd | closing.  There is a tall spotlight nearby, but the spotlight is off.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see a moon buggy (empty) here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Maintenance Recess
Floyd | This building is more like an alcove - hardly big enough to call itself
Floyd | a building at all, for all that it has three walls and a doorway
Floyd | leading back outside.
Floyd |
Floyd | Your buggy's bright headlights are visible through the doorway to the
Floyd | west.
Floyd |
Floyd | There's a control panel mounted to the back of the wall.  In the dim
Floyd | radiance cast by the buggy's headlights, you can make out three
Floyd | switches on the panel.  The switches are labelled "Gate", "Plaza", and
Floyd | "Residential".
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | As you flip the switch to provide power to the gate, the plaza power
Floyd | switch clicks off.
Floyd |
Floyd | A bright light comes on from behind you, where you left your buggy.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Near the Gate
Floyd | This is the entrance to the mysterious city where you arrived in
Floyd | response to the distress call.  There is no pressure dome, leaving the
Floyd | dusty streets exposed to near-vacuum, but the buildings have the tall,
Floyd | rectangular shapes familiar to you from the Tokyo skyline.
Floyd |
Floyd | There's a doorless building to the east illuminated dimly by your
Floyd | buggy's headlights.
Floyd |
Floyd | A bright spotlight lances down upon a waist-high pedestal standing in
Floyd | the center of the gate.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see a moon buggy (empty) here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You carefully set the dish on the pedestal, adjusting it so that the
Floyd | beam of light from the powerful spotlight reflects off the silvery
Floyd | liquid and up toward your waiting ship.
Floyd |
Floyd | You hold your breath with nervous anticipation as you see the
Floyd | spotlight's beam, unimpeded by the thin atmosphere, reach the
Floyd | far-distant Prometheus Corp shuttle. After a few seconds, you jostle
Floyd | the china dish, making the surface of the silvery liquid ripple and
Floyd | split the beam of light. You repeat this pattern for several minutes, a
Floyd | sick feeling slowly dawning on you that your attempt will fail.
Floyd |
Floyd | Just as you are about to lose hope, however, you see the shuttle fire a
Floyd | jet, changing its position. Your heart hammers in your chest as the
Floyd | shuttle maneuvers, and you have to resist crying out with joy as you
Floyd | see it release its spare buggy toward the surface of the moon. It's not
Floyd | too late after all, and those Titan bastards should have known you
Floyd | wouldn't give up without a fight....
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |     *** You have won ***
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, QUIT or UNDO the last
Floyd | command?
Floyd | >

Floyd | Please give one of the answers above.
Floyd |
Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, QUIT or UNDO the last
Floyd | command?
Floyd | >

Floyd | Please give one of the answers above.
Floyd |
Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, QUIT or UNDO the last
Floyd | command?
Floyd | >

Floyd |

Floyd | Welcome to the Cheap Glk Implementation, library version 0.9.0.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | It is the hottest summer of all time (or at least it feels that way now
Floyd | that your electricity has been cut off). Your lack of employment has
Floyd | finally caught up with you. Your funds have been depleted and your
Floyd | pockets are empty. Last month's essentials (cable television and
Floyd | Internet access) are now but sweet memories. The lack of air
Floyd | conditioning feels like the final straw. You were really hoping to
Floyd | starve to death at a comfortable 68 degrees.
Floyd |
Floyd | Yesterday for lunch you boiled and ate two hot dog wieners. For dinner,
Floyd | you drank the water you boiled them in. (Mmm, "Hot Dog Soup".) So far
Floyd | your dignity has kept you from rummaging through trash cans for food,
Floyd | but it's starting to sound like a viable option. Just the thought of
Floyd | sinking your teeth into someone else's left over pizza crust makes your
Floyd | mouth water.
Floyd |
Floyd | The current economy has made it hell for a spoiled, out-of-work
Floyd | computer programmer such as yourself to find work.  It wasn't too long
Floyd | ago that a five-figure salary seemed beneath you; today, given your
Floyd | current state of affairs, you would accept four. It's time to find a
Floyd | job and find some food, and find them today.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Hangar 22
Floyd | A Text Adventure
Floyd | Copyright (c) 2011 by Rob O'Hara -- Final Build 1.0 (6/17/11 13:00)
Floyd | *** This game supports: ABOUT, HELP/HINT, CHEAT, COMMANDS and UNDO.
Floyd | *** Please type ABOUT for more information about Hangar 22!
Floyd |
Floyd | Release 1 / Serial number 110617 / Inform v6.31 Library 6/11 S
Floyd |
Floyd | Living Room
Floyd | While your living room isn't much to look at, you call it home. Back
Floyd | when you were working 80 hours a week, you had no time to fix the place
Floyd | up. Now that you have all the time in the world, you have no money.
Floyd | Even in hard times, you retain your sense of irony. Your ratty couch
Floyd | sits along one wall, facing your cheap (and empty) entertainment
Floyd | center. The front door of your home is to the NORTH. Your dining room
Floyd | lies WEST, and your bedroom is to the SOUTH.
Floyd |
Floyd | (First time playing Hangar 22? Type ABOUT. Need a list of common
Floyd | commands? Type COMMANDS.)
Floyd |
Floyd | Your front door is closed, which prevents people outside from coming
Floyd | in, and vice versa (it's called physics).
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see a couch, a fish bowl, an entertainment center and a
Floyd | coffee table (on which is a remote control) here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Welcome to HANGAR 22, an exciting new text adventure written by Rob
Floyd | O'Hara. Perhaps "exciting" is an overstatement (and heck, it's not even
Floyd | all that original!), but regardless, I hope you enjoy playing it as
Floyd | much as I enjoyed creating it.
Floyd |
Floyd | Hangar 22 was written using Inform 6. Despite my best efforts, you may
Floyd | find minor glitches as the two of us move through this game together.
Floyd | As I once asked of my prison cellmate, "Go easy on me." (He didn't.)
Floyd | For the record, I believe Hangar 22 qualifies as a "text adventure" and
Floyd | not "interactive fiction". I'm afraid you'll find no deep literary
Floyd | meaning here. My personal gaming experience with the medium lies in
Floyd | old-school text adventures, and the design of this game directly
Floyd | reflects that.
Floyd |
Floyd | Hangar 22's scoring system is very simplistic, and revolves around the
Floyd | completion of tasks. This results overall in a low scoring game, but
Floyd | based on your score you should be able to tell how many major tasks you
Floyd | have completed and how many you have left. The game contains a total of
Floyd | 11 points. To truly win the game, you will need to acquire all 11
Floyd | points.
Floyd |
Floyd | Hangar 22 uses Brendan Barnwell's OKBScript for its menu-driven
Floyd | dialogue. Whenever you encounter a person you wish to speak with,
Floyd | simply type TALK TO NAME ("NAME" being the person's name) and you will
Floyd | be presented with a list of things you can say to the person. I am not
Floyd | completely sold on menu-style dialogue in text adventures, but as a
Floyd | first time author I thought it sounded easier to program. You can also
Floyd | talk to some objects.
Floyd |
Floyd | Hangar 22 supports the commands HELP (or HINT) and CHEAT. By typing
Floyd | HELP or HINT and hitting ENTER, the game will give you a hint that
Floyd | should nudge you in the right direction. For additional assistance,
Floyd | type CHEAT. You can try this with many objects as well (HINT COUCH or
Floyd | CHEAT PENCIL). Both HELP/HINT and CHEAT may reveal game spoilers, so
Floyd | don't use them unless you're really stuck! If you mess up, UNDO undoes
Floyd | the last command you just typed.
Floyd |
Floyd | Hangar 22 was beta-tested by Robb Sherwin, Jeff Martin, Ian Morris, Joe
Floyd | Ratulowski, Matt Roark, NZ17, Seth Spurlock, and multiple members of
Floyd | the Jolt Country and Gas Chamber forums. I could not have completed
Floyd | this game without Robb Sherwin's assistance. Thanks again, Robb!
Floyd |
Floyd | Work on Hangar 22 began in September of 2010 and was completed in April
Floyd | of 2011. I grew up playing text adventures in the late 70s, stopped in
Floyd | the mid-80s, and had my interest rekindled by Jason Scott's documentary
Floyd | Get Lamp. Hangar 22 is dedicated to Jason Scott, Robb Sherwin, Sam
Floyd | Patterson, Scott Adams, and my dad, Denny O'Hara, who introduced me to
Floyd | my first text adventure at the age of seven. Thanks to everyone still
Floyd | writing Interactive Fiction games, and most of all, special thanks to
Floyd | YOU for PLAYING THIS ONE.
Floyd |
Floyd | Rob O'Hara
Floyd | robohara@robohara.com
Floyd | [LINK]
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You are carrying nothing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You look roughly like an out of work computer programmer ... which,
Floyd | coincidentally, is exactly what you are. Your clothes are baggier than
Floyd | normal, thanks to your mandatory recent "low-food-intake" diet. Years
Floyd | of sitting behind computer keyboards have given you lean fingers and a
Floyd | pot belly, but when push comes to shove, you clean up nice.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You are carrying nothing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | If buttons are any measurement of manhood, owning this remote makes you
Floyd | a stud among studs. Back in the day, this bad mamma-jamma controlled
Floyd | everything you owned: your television, your DVD player, your cable box,
Floyd | your stereo, your coffee pot, and sometimes even your neighbor's
Floyd | automatic garage door. Over the past few months you've sold everything
Floyd | the remote used to control, but you keep the remote as a reminder of
Floyd | happier times.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not something you can open.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Living Room
Floyd | While your living room isn't much to look at, you call it home. Back
Floyd | when you were working 80 hours a week, you had no time to fix the place
Floyd | up. Now that you have all the time in the world, you have no money.
Floyd | Even in hard times, you retain your sense of irony. Your ratty couch
Floyd | sits along one wall, facing your cheap (and empty) entertainment
Floyd | center. The front door of your home is to the NORTH. Your dining room
Floyd | lies WEST, and your bedroom is to the SOUTH.
Floyd |
Floyd | Your front door is closed, which prevents people outside from coming
Floyd | in, and vice versa (it's called physics).
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see a couch, a fish bowl, an entertainment center and a
Floyd | coffee table here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The couch is wrapped in an orange and brown floral print, which must've
Floyd | been popular decades ago when the couch was manufactured. The bottom
Floyd | edges of the couch are scuffed and ripped. The main seam that runs
Floyd | along the top is unravelling, and the left-hand cushion literally has a
Floyd | spring poking through the fabric. What few meals you eat are typically
Floyd | eaten here; what food doesn't make it to your mouth usually falls down
Floyd | between the cushions ... which explains the smell.
Floyd |
Floyd | The couch is at least 40 years old, and looks it. All told, it's one of
Floyd | the nicer things you own.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Sticking your hand between the cushions reveals a handful of change and
Floyd | an old burrito, both of which you pull out and set aside. Say ... who
Floyd | knows what another search might yield!
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Reaching waaaaay, waaaaay down inside the couch you feel ... the floor.
Floyd | Cue sad trombone sound effect here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | It's about a buck's worth of change -- mostly nickels and pennies, some
Floyd | stickier than others.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | It's a "Taco Flaco" burrito, which is odd since you haven't eaten there
Floyd | in a couple of weeks now. The burrito is covered in a five-o'clock
Floyd | shadow of green fuzz. Nothing (and I mean NOTHING) good can come from
Floyd | eating this.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The particle wood bows in the middle where your television used to sit.
Floyd | Your television, DVD player, and stereo used to sit together on the
Floyd | entertainment center. Now, they sit together at Bad Brad's BBQ and
Floyd | Pawn.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | This large fish bowl is where Goldie, your pet goldfish, used to live.
Floyd | Even when you were at your lowest, Goldie was always there for you. He
Floyd | was a good friend and a good companion, and two days after you ran out
Floyd | of peanut butter, he was a good snack.
Floyd |
Floyd | The bowl used to contain water, rocks, fake plants, and a little
Floyd | treasure chest that opened and closed. None of those things seemed
Floyd | edible, so after Goldie's demise they all went in the trash. All that's
Floyd | left is the bowl itself.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |    That's really a waste of everyone's time.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Enter saved game to store: Ok.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | (first taking the burrito)
Floyd | Yeah ... no. Here's a short list of things that sound more appetizing
Floyd | to eat: a stack of VCR tapes, your Aunt Ruth's face, your remote
Floyd | control, a used urinal cake, and your own foot.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |    Sadly, the voices in your head do not respond.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | While the colored buttons do somewhat resemble Skittles, surely you can
Floyd | find something better to consume. Plus, if you ever get another
Floyd | television, repeatedly standing up and sitting down to change channels
Floyd | would be a real pain in the ass. Literally.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | It's just a cheap table. It's not worth selling, and barely worth
Floyd | owning.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You find nothing of interest.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's plainly inedible.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | (first taking the handful of change)
Floyd | That's plainly inedible.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Living Room
Floyd | While your living room isn't much to look at, you call it home. Back
Floyd | when you were working 80 hours a week, you had no time to fix the place
Floyd | up. Now that you have all the time in the world, you have no money.
Floyd | Even in hard times, you retain your sense of irony. Your ratty couch
Floyd | sits along one wall, facing your cheap (and empty) entertainment
Floyd | center. The front door of your home is to the NORTH. Your dining room
Floyd | lies WEST, and your bedroom is to the SOUTH.
Floyd |
Floyd | Your front door is closed, which prevents people outside from coming
Floyd | in, and vice versa (it's called physics).
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see a couch, an entertainment center and a coffee table
Floyd | here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Dining Room
Floyd | The word "room" is a bit of a misnomer; it's more of a nook, and a
Floyd | sparse one at that. In the middle of the room on top of a rug sits a
Floyd | small table and two chairs. On the wall is a small tack where you hang
Floyd | your house key. Your kitchen is to the SOUTH, and the living room is to
Floyd | the EAST.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see a house key, a trash can (which is empty) and a table (on
Floyd | which are a napkin and a pen) here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Despite the fact that it slightly smells of urine, the rug really ties
Floyd | the room together.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | napkin: Removed.
Floyd | pen: Removed.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The table is old and tired. It gets passed around between family
Floyd | members every time someone has a garage sale. It's ugly, but you don't
Floyd | own it because of its style; you own it because it was free.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | It's an unused Taco Flaco napkin.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Tug as you might, the carpet will not move. Ever.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You find nothing of interest.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You bought two, since the thought og buying only one seemed depressing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Floyd | It's a generic ink pen with a black cap. You try to keep one or two on
Floyd | the table.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Using the pen, you write "COUPON" across the top of the napkin in bold
Floyd | letters. Below that in smaller letters, you write "10 TACOS FOR A
Floyd | DOLLAR".
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one point.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Sometimes you like to pretend this is the key to the city, given to you
Floyd | by the Mayor himself. In reality, it's the key to your front door.
Floyd | You've never met the Mayor.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | It's a trash can. Sorry, not everything in life is exciting. You want
Floyd | to make things more exciting? Put some taco wrappers in here!
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You find nothing of interest.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | It's about a buck's worth of change -- mostly nickels and pennies, some
Floyd | stickier than others.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Kitchen
Floyd | The kitchen is small and somewhat dark. Even back when you had
Floyd | electricity, the room wasn't all that impressive. Now, it's essentially
Floyd | useless. All the basics are here (a refrigerator, a stove, a
Floyd | microwave), but without any electricity they aren't of much use. The
Floyd | SOUTH end of the room contains a small pantry. The dining room is to
Floyd | your NORTH.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see a coffee mug here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The mug proclaims you are the "World's Greatest Dad", and who are you
Floyd | to argue? To date the only thing you've given birth to is unhealthy
Floyd | living conditions, but should you ever actually procreate, you feel
Floyd | like owning the mug gives you a head start. In the coffee mug
Floyd | department, you're the opposite of a procrastinator. You're like a ...
Floyd | precrastinator.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You look roughly like an out of work computer programmer ... which,
Floyd | coincidentally, is exactly what you are. Your clothes are baggier than
Floyd | normal, thanks to your mandatory recent "low-food-intake" diet. Years
Floyd | of sitting behind computer keyboards have given you lean fingers and a
Floyd | pot belly, but when push comes to shove, you clean up nice.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | There's nothing stashed inside, honest.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | There's nothing stashed inside, honest.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | It's to the SOUTH.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | There's nothing stashed inside, honest.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | There's nothing stashed inside, honest.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Pantry
Floyd | The pantry is like a closet for food. Back when you had some, this is
Floyd | where you kept it.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see a candy bar and a bag of Reese's Pieces here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | candy bar: Taken.
Floyd | bag of Reese's Pieces: Taken.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | It's a Three Muskateers bar. Its fairly misshapen from sitting in your
Floyd | hot pantry, but surely it'll still be delicious. The only reason you
Floyd | haven't eaten it is, you can't remember where it came from.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | It's a Three Muskateers bar. Its fairly misshapen from sitting in your
Floyd | hot pantry, but surely it'll still be delicious. The only reason you
Floyd | haven't eaten it is, you can't remember where it came from.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You remember buying the Reese's Pieces to hand out for Halloween, but
Floyd | you can't remember which year. Reese's have never been a favorite snack
Floyd | of yours, so there they sit, waiting for next year's trick-or-treaters.
Floyd | Fortunately, candy doesn't have a shelf life. (At least that's what the
Floyd | guy at the dollar store told you while checking out. Come to think of
Floyd | it, perhaps he was being sarcastic.)
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Blech, no thanks. You don't even like them when they're fresh, much
Floyd | less a decade old.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Not right now. You know what they say, "Candy is dandy, but tacos are
Floyd | ..." Well I can't remember how it goes, but the point is you're in the
Floyd | mood for tacos, not chocolate. Because you know what they say, "Meat
Floyd | can't be beat, while chocolate is ..." Crud. Rhyming is hard.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Not right now. You know what they say, "Candy is dandy, but tacos are
Floyd | ..." Well I can't remember how it goes, but the point is you're in the
Floyd | mood for tacos, not chocolate. Because you know what they say, "Meat
Floyd | can't be beat, while chocolate is ..." Crud. Rhyming is hard.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Kitchen
Floyd | The kitchen is small and somewhat dark. Even back when you had
Floyd | electricity, the room wasn't all that impressive. Now, it's essentially
Floyd | useless. All the basics are here (a refrigerator, a stove, a
Floyd | microwave), but without any electricity they aren't of much use. The
Floyd | SOUTH end of the room contains a small pantry. The dining room is to
Floyd | your NORTH.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Dining Room
Floyd | The word "room" is a bit of a misnomer; it's more of a nook, and a
Floyd | sparse one at that. In the middle of the room on top of a rug sits a
Floyd | small table and two chairs. On the wall is a small tack where you hang
Floyd | your house key. Your kitchen is to the SOUTH, and the living room is to
Floyd | the EAST.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see a trash can (which is empty) and a table here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Living Room
Floyd | While your living room isn't much to look at, you call it home. Back
Floyd | when you were working 80 hours a week, you had no time to fix the place
Floyd | up. Now that you have all the time in the world, you have no money.
Floyd | Even in hard times, you retain your sense of irony. Your ratty couch
Floyd | sits along one wall, facing your cheap (and empty) entertainment
Floyd | center. The front door of your home is to the NORTH. Your dining room
Floyd | lies WEST, and your bedroom is to the SOUTH.
Floyd |
Floyd | Your front door is closed, which prevents people outside from coming
Floyd | in, and vice versa (it's called physics).
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see a couch, an entertainment center and a coffee table
Floyd | here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Bedroom
Floyd | This is where "the magic" happens ... if, by "magic", you mean crying
Floyd | yourself to sleep at night while listening to your stomach growl. To
Floyd | make ends meet a few months ago you pawned your bed frame, but kept the
Floyd | mattress. (You would have pawned the mattress too, but "apparently" it
Floyd | had one stain too many.) In the corner is your closet. Your small
Floyd | bathroom is to the EAST. Your living room is back NORTH.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see a mattress here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Your mattress sits on the floor in the corner of your bedroom --
Floyd | classy, for sure. The mattress has multiple small stains, and covers a
Floyd | larger stain on the carpet beneath. A wrinkled sheet covers the stains.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You find nothing of interest.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Body fluid, of some type. You often wonder whose ...
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | It's a "holy sheet", har har.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | I'd leave it here; without electricity, it gets cold at night.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not something you can open.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | It's like a pantry, but for clothes. There's no door blocking your view
Floyd | of your clothes. You didn't pawn it, it just fell off one day and you
Floyd | never put it back on.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | It's full of clothes and shoes and ties and spiders. Nothing you need
Floyd | at the moment.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You don't see any at the moment, thank goodness. Perhaps they're hiding
Floyd | for fear of being eaten by you.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | For as broke as you are, your wardrobe doesn't look half bad. Should
Floyd | you land a job, you should have no problem finding something to wear.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | For as broke as you are, your wardrobe doesn't look half bad. Should
Floyd | you land a job, you should have no problem finding something to wear.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | For as broke as you are, your wardrobe doesn't look half bad. Should
Floyd | you land a job, you should have no problem finding something to wear.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You enter the bathroom and, like Elvis, take care of business. When
Floyd | finished you flush, wash and dry your hands (even though nobody was
Floyd | looking -- good job!) and re-enter your bedroom.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You have so far scored 1 out of a possible 11, in 74 turns.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You are carrying:
Floyd |   a bag of Reese's Pieces
Floyd |   a candy bar
Floyd |   a coffee mug
Floyd |   a coupon
Floyd |   a house key
Floyd |   a pen
Floyd |   a handful of change
Floyd |   a fish bowl
Floyd |   a burrito
Floyd |   a remote control
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Bedroom
Floyd | This is where "the magic" happens ... if, by "magic", you mean crying
Floyd | yourself to sleep at night while listening to your stomach growl. To
Floyd | make ends meet a few months ago you pawned your bed frame, but kept the
Floyd | mattress. (You would have pawned the mattress too, but "apparently" it
Floyd | had one stain too many.) In the corner is your closet. Your small
Floyd | bathroom is to the EAST. Your living room is back NORTH.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see a mattress here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Living Room
Floyd | While your living room isn't much to look at, you call it home. Back
Floyd | when you were working 80 hours a week, you had no time to fix the place
Floyd | up. Now that you have all the time in the world, you have no money.
Floyd | Even in hard times, you retain your sense of irony. Your ratty couch
Floyd | sits along one wall, facing your cheap (and empty) entertainment
Floyd | center. The front door of your home is to the NORTH. Your dining room
Floyd | lies WEST, and your bedroom is to the SOUTH.
Floyd |
Floyd | Your front door is closed, which prevents people outside from coming
Floyd | in, and vice versa (it's called physics).
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see a couch, an entertainment center and a coffee table
Floyd | here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't, since the front door is in the way.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's unlocked at the moment.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Bedroom
Floyd | This is where "the magic" happens ... if, by "magic", you mean crying
Floyd | yourself to sleep at night while listening to your stomach growl. To
Floyd | make ends meet a few months ago you pawned your bed frame, but kept the
Floyd | mattress. (You would have pawned the mattress too, but "apparently" it
Floyd | had one stain too many.) In the corner is your closet. Your small
Floyd | bathroom is to the EAST. Your living room is back NORTH.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see a mattress here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You find nothing of interest.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Living Room
Floyd | While your living room isn't much to look at, you call it home. Back
Floyd | when you were working 80 hours a week, you had no time to fix the place
Floyd | up. Now that you have all the time in the world, you have no money.
Floyd | Even in hard times, you retain your sense of irony. Your ratty couch
Floyd | sits along one wall, facing your cheap (and empty) entertainment
Floyd | center. The front door of your home is to the NORTH. Your dining room
Floyd | lies WEST, and your bedroom is to the SOUTH.
Floyd |
Floyd | Your front door is closed, which prevents people outside from coming
Floyd | in, and vice versa (it's called physics).
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see a couch, an entertainment center and a coffee table
Floyd | here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't, since the front door is in the way.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You open the front door.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Front Porch
Floyd | Like the inside of your house, the front porch is small and cozy. When
Floyd | you first moved in you bought a small chair and placed it on the porch
Floyd | with dreams of spending your evenings drinking beer and enjoying the
Floyd | scenery. You ran out of money for beer months ago, and the scenery
Floyd | consists of the dog across the street that continually barks and
Floyd | neighborhood kids that give you the finger everytime they see you.
Floyd | These days the porch serves as a place to put your chair and mount your
Floyd | mailbox. Your driveway is EAST from here; your house is back to the
Floyd | SOUTH.
Floyd |
Floyd | The front door is open, potentially letting in heat, flies, and bill
Floyd | collectors.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see a mailbox (which is closed) and a man here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Wearing a black suit, white shirt, black tie, black gloves and
Floyd | sunglasses, the man looks more like one of the Blues Brothers than a
Floyd | door-to-door salesman. He certainly doesn't look like any bill
Floyd | collector you've ever seen, and you've seen your share. The man looks
Floyd | more like one of the Men in Black, and not in a funny "Will Smith" kind
Floyd | of way. In his left hand, the man carries a clipboard.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The mailbox is small and rusty. Although all you get are bills and
Floyd | collection notices these days, this used to be where your Netflix
Floyd | movies arrived. Boy, you sure miss Netflix. With over 60,000 titles and
Floyd | 20 million members in the United States and Canada, Netflix is the
Floyd | world's leading Internet subscription service for enjoying movies and
Floyd | TV shows. For $7.99 a month, Netflix members can instantly watch
Floyd | unlimited movies and TV episodes streamed over the Internet to PCs,
Floyd | Macs and TVs. Among the large and expanding base of devices streaming
Floyd | from Netflix are Microsoft's Xbox 360, Nintendo's Wii and Sony's PS3
Floyd | consoles; an array of Blu-ray disc players, Internet-connected TVs,
Floyd | home theater systems, digital video recorders and Internet video
Floyd | players; Apple's iPhone, iPad and iPod touch, as well as Apple TV and
Floyd | Google TV. In all, more than 200 devices that stream from Netflix are
Floyd | available in the U.S. and a growing number are available in Canada.
Floyd |
Floyd | (This mailbox was sponsored by Netflix. To sponsor an object in one of
Floyd | my upcoming games, please contact me.)
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You open the mailbox, revealing some bills.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Bills, bills, and more bills. Most days, you don't even read them; by
Floyd | not opening them, you're hoping to claim "plausible deniability".
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd |  0: Say nothing.
Floyd |  1: "Can I help you?"
Floyd |  2: "Beat it, Elwood."

Floyd | What do you want to say to the man?

Floyd | Enter a number between 0 and 2.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Can I help you?", you ask the man.
Floyd |
Floyd | "On the contrary, I believe it is I who can help you," the man says.
Floyd | Either this guy is a complete weirdo, or he's doing a perfect
Floyd | impression Agent Smith from The Matrix. "I have been sent by The
Floyd | Agency." (By the way he says "The Agency", you assume the words would
Floyd | be capitalized if you ever saw them in print.) We've had your
Floyd | application on file for quite some time now. Are you still looking for
Floyd | work?
Floyd |
Floyd |  0: Say nothing.
Floyd |  1: "Absolutely."
Floyd |  2: "I don't know ... this is kind of creepy."
Floyd |  3: "Definitely not."

Floyd | What do you want to say to the man?
Floyd |
Floyd | "I don't know ... this is kind of creepy," you say to the man.
Floyd |
Floyd | "My apologies," says the man. "English is not my first language. We
Floyd | received your application from a government job fair you attended
Floyd | several months ago. We have an immediate opening for a skilled
Floyd | programmer, and we think you would be perfect for the job. We can talk
Floyd | more about your salary tomorrow, but the position comes with a
Floyd | six-figure signing bonus, which," the man says as he peers past you
Floyd | into your home with no electricity, "I assume is more than you're
Floyd | making at the moment. I'm sorry if I came off the wrong way. How about
Floyd | it, can we count on you?"
Floyd |
Floyd |  0: Say nothing.
Floyd |  1: "I'm in."
Floyd |  2: "I'm out."

Floyd | What do you want to say to the man?
Floyd | Enter a number between 0 and 2.

Floyd | Enter a number between 0 and 2.
Floyd |
Floyd | "I'm in," you say to the man.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Perrr-r-r-r," the man says, sounding like a bad robot impersonation.
Floyd | The man's suit, in combination with the hot summer sun, has caused him
Floyd | to begin sweating. Is that silver sweat? Or is the guy wearing makeup?
Floyd | Something's definitely not right with this dude. "Perfect," the man
Floyd | manages to say on his second attempt. The man proceeds to muster up the
Floyd | weirdest looking smile you have ever seen -- it's like the guy learned
Floyd | how to smile by looking at pictures of people smiling poorly. "We look
Floyd | forward to seeing you tomorrow."
Floyd |
Floyd | As you extend your hand in an attempt to shake hands with Captain
Floyd | Creepazoid, he places a business card into it. "The address is on the
Floyd | card."
Floyd |
Floyd | You look down and see the business card in your hand. When you look up
Floyd | again, you see the man has vanished.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one point.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | With black letters printed on an off-white card stock, the business
Floyd | card is as stark as it is bold. "HANGAR 22. 8062 ELM STREET." (And as
Floyd | your grandpa once told you, "Every town has an Elm Street." Wait, that
Floyd | wasn't your grandpa, that was Freddy Krueger from Freddy's Dead: The
Floyd | Final Nightmare.)
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You close the front door.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | What do you want to lock the front door with?
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You lock the front door to make sure nobody steals all the stuff you
Floyd | don't have anymore.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Enter saved game to store: Ok.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Front Porch
Floyd | Like the inside of your house, the front porch is small and cozy. When
Floyd | you first moved in you bought a small chair and placed it on the porch
Floyd | with dreams of spending your evenings drinking beer and enjoying the
Floyd | scenery. You ran out of money for beer months ago, and the scenery
Floyd | consists of the dog across the street that continually barks and
Floyd | neighborhood kids that give you the finger everytime they see you.
Floyd | These days the porch serves as a place to put your chair and mount your
Floyd | mailbox. Your driveway is EAST from here; your house is back to the
Floyd | SOUTH.
Floyd |
Floyd | Your front door is closed, which prevents people outside from coming
Floyd | in, and vice versa (it's called physics).
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see a mailbox (in which are some bills) here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You close the mailbox.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Unlike yourself, the chair appears able to support things. The seat is
Floyd | covered in a thin layer of dust and cobwebs, but it's in pretty good
Floyd | shape compared to most of the furniture inside your house.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's hardly portable.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Driveway
Floyd | Your driveway is where you park your car. It's as interesting as a
Floyd | giant flat slab of concrete can be. To the WEST is your front porch.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see an El Camino here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | She's a beauty, isn't she? You still refer to her as the Brown Bomber
Floyd | (in reference to the car's original color), but after thirty hard years
Floyd | of service it's getting more and more difficult to determine where the
Floyd | paint ends and the rust begins. The inside of your El Camino is almost
Floyd | as beautiful as the outside -- which is to say, "not very". Randomly
Floyd | scattered throughout the car are more stains, splotches, and sticky
Floyd | spots than the floor of your average adult theater. The ignition juts
Floyd | slightly from the steering column; someone busted the ignition for you
Floyd | while attempting to steal the car, and it now turns freely without a
Floyd | key.
Floyd |
Floyd | She burns more fluids than rubber these days, but she's paid for and
Floyd | she still runs. Usually.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You get into the El Camino.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | But you're already in the El Camino.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | What, drive around aimlessly? Once inside your car, talk to your GPS
Floyd | and pick a destination.
Floyd |

Floyd | >

Floyd | The GPS is a Sir Guide-A-Lot 350 model -- apparently, a promotional
Floyd | item bundled with Sir Mix-A-Lot's last album, "Where My Homies At?".
Floyd | While the GPS is slow, clunky, and rarely accurate, by far its most
Floyd | annoying feature is the fact that it constantly shouts at you in Sir
Floyd | Mix-A-Lot's voice. (Whoever authorized the combination of a has-been
Floyd | rapper's voice with a barely functional GPS didn't do much in the way
Floyd | of market research.) The only reason you haven't pawned it yet is that
Floyd | "350" denotes not only the model, but also its current value. In pesos.
Floyd | You found the device abandoned in a Taco Flaco bathroom, and each time
Floyd | you use the thing you are convinced that its former owner left it there
Floyd | intentionally. The unit's only redeeming value is its voice recognition
Floyd | feature. You can simply TALK TO GPS and it gives you directions.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd |  0: Say nothing.
Floyd |  1: "Location: HOME"
Floyd |  2: "Location: TACO FLACO"
Floyd |  3: "Location: HANGAR 22."

Floyd | What do you want to say to the GPS?
Floyd |
Floyd | "BUTTERMILK BISCUITS, HEW HEWWWWW!" says Sir Guide-A-Lot. (Jesus, you
Floyd | hate that thing.) After a moment or two of processing, the GPS finishes
Floyd | its calculations, and off you go. The unit calculates a path that leads
Floyd | you through several back alleys you've never seen before and at least
Floyd | one third-world country. Stupid piece of junk. Despite Sir
Floyd | Guide-A-Lot's best effort at losing you, you finally arrive at ...
Floyd |
Floyd | Taco Flaco Drive-Thru
Floyd | Even as broke as you are, you can still eat like a king at Taco Flaco.
Floyd | You applied for a job here once but were told you were overqualified,
Floyd | what with your high school degree and all. (It all worked out for the
Floyd | best -- you wouldn't have had the stomach to club the baby chickens
Floyd | needed to make those little bite-sized burritos, anyway.) None of the
Floyd | employees are too bright, which is why your coupon scam continues to
Floyd | work. (For years now you've been handwriting your own "ten tacos for a
Floyd | dollar" coupons.) The staff is rude and the restaurant is dirty, but
Floyd | it's a fact that they make the best tacos in all the land. (And by "the
Floyd | land" I mean, "within three miles of your house".
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see a Taco Flaco Drive-Thru Sign here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Taco Flaco is known for a lot of things (the quality of their food, the
Floyd | rudeness of their employees, that time someone found a human foot
Floyd | inside their burrito ...), but menu diversity is not one of them. The
Floyd | restaurant's three menu choices have been hand painted on a giant piece
Floyd | of wood:
Floyd |
Floyd | COMBO 1: Three Tacos, Cinnamon Chunks, Fiesta Surprise, Large Drink:
Floyd | $4.99
Floyd | COMBO 2: Two Burritos (Chicken, Steak, or "Surprise"), Large "Cabra
Floyd | Vomitar" Shake: $4.99
Floyd | COMBO 3: Nachos Gigantescos (Caliente and Libre de Enfermedad), Large
Floyd | Warm Milk: $4.99
Floyd |
Floyd | Attached to the bottom of the sign is a speaker. From it, you hear a
Floyd | sweet angelic voice say, "Order. Now. Rapido, Pendejo ..."
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Enter saved game to store: Ok.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd |  0: Say nothing.
Floyd |  1: "Numero Uno, por favor."
Floyd |  2: "I'll have the number two, please."
Floyd |  3: "Number Three, to go."
Floyd |  4: "Ten tacos for a dollar, please."
Floyd |  5: "This is a robbery."
Floyd |  6: "I don't have any money. Whatcha got for free?"

Floyd | What do you want to say to the Taco Flaco Drive-Thru Sign?
Floyd |
Floyd | "I don't have any money. Whatcha got for free?" you ask. After a moment
Floyd | of silence, the voice at the windows tells you to pull up.
Floyd |
Floyd | Working the drive-thru window (as usual) is Gloria, the sexiest
Floyd | seniorita to ever don a Taco Flaco uniform. If anyone can make a
Floyd | polyester shirt with a poor drawing of a taco with arms, legs and a
Floyd | smile on it romantic, it's this girl. Her hair, her smile, her fake
Floyd | gold tooth ... there's just nothing about this girl that you don't
Floyd | adore.
Floyd |
Floyd | Gloria slides the drive-thru window open and spits a loogie directly
Floyd | into your face.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Thank you, come again," she says, closing the window. It would seem
Floyd | you chose ... poorly.
Floyd |
Floyd | Intersection
Floyd | You are sitting inside your car at the end of the Taco Flaco
Floyd | drive-thru. All the other buildings you can see are vacant (it's not
Floyd | the best part of town). Other Taco Flaco drive-thru customers are
Floyd | behind you, honking their horns. It's time to use the GPS to get you
Floyd | out of this mess.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | [Undone.]
Floyd |    Taco Flaco is known for a lot of things (the quality of their food,
Floyd | the rudeness of their employees, that time someone found a human foot
Floyd | inside their burrito ...), but menu diversity is not one of them. The
Floyd | restaurant's three menu choices have been hand painted on a giant piece
Floyd | of wood:
Floyd |
Floyd | COMBO 1: Three Tacos, Cinnamon Chunks, Fiesta Surprise, Large Drink:
Floyd | $4.99
Floyd | COMBO 2: Two Burritos (Chicken, Steak, or "Surprise"), Large "Cabra
Floyd | Vomitar" Shake: $4.99
Floyd | COMBO 3: Nachos Gigantescos (Caliente and Libre de Enfermedad), Large
Floyd | Warm Milk: $4.99
Floyd |
Floyd | Attached to the bottom of the sign is a speaker. From it, you hear a
Floyd | sweet angelic voice say, "Order. Now. Rapido, Pendejo ..."
Floyd |
Floyd |  0: Say nothing.
Floyd |  1: "Numero Uno, por favor."
Floyd |  2: "I'll have the number two, please."
Floyd |  3: "Number Three, to go."
Floyd |  4: "Ten tacos for a dollar, please."
Floyd |  5: "This is a robbery."
Floyd |  6: "I don't have any money. Whatcha got for free?"

Floyd | What do you want to say to the Taco Flaco Drive-Thru Sign?
Floyd |
Floyd | "This is a robbery," you say to the drive-thru speaker. "When I get up
Floyd | to the window, I want all the money. In a BAG. With some TACOS. And a
Floyd | DRINK. WITH NO SPIT IN IT!"
Floyd |
Floyd | After a few moments of silence, the voice asks you a question. "Would
Floyd | you like to add three flautas for a dollar?"
Floyd |
Floyd | Is this chick messing with you? Doesn't she know how crazy you are?
Floyd | You're about to rob a place you frequent regularly with no mask and
Floyd | nothing remotely resembling a weapon. YOU ARE EL GRINGO LOCO!
Floyd |
Floyd | "Yeah, sure, I'll take the flautas," you say.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Okay," the woman responds. "Please drive around."
Floyd |
Floyd | "Wow, that was pretty easy!" you say to yourself. As you pull up to the
Floyd | drive-thru window, it slides open to reveal not a bag full of money,
Floyd | tacos, three flautas and a drink with no spit in it, but rather the
Floyd | business end of a shotgun.
Floyd |
Floyd | Just moments ago, you had tacos on the brain. Now, your brains are
Floyd | about to be splattered all over Taco Flaco. Sometimes, the jokes just
Floyd | write themselves. You chuckle nervously.
Floyd |
Floyd | Adios, El Gringo Loco. Click, Click, BOOM!
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |     *** You have died ***
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | In that game you scored 2 out of a possible 11, in 114 turns.
Floyd |
Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game or QUIT?
Floyd | >

Floyd | [Undone.]
Floyd |    Taco Flaco is known for a lot of things (the quality of their food,
Floyd | the rudeness of their employees, that time someone found a human foot
Floyd | inside their burrito ...), but menu diversity is not one of them. The
Floyd | restaurant's three menu choices have been hand painted on a giant piece
Floyd | of wood:
Floyd |
Floyd | COMBO 1: Three Tacos, Cinnamon Chunks, Fiesta Surprise, Large Drink:
Floyd | $4.99
Floyd | COMBO 2: Two Burritos (Chicken, Steak, or "Surprise"), Large "Cabra
Floyd | Vomitar" Shake: $4.99
Floyd | COMBO 3: Nachos Gigantescos (Caliente and Libre de Enfermedad), Large
Floyd | Warm Milk: $4.99
Floyd |
Floyd | Attached to the bottom of the sign is a speaker. From it, you hear a
Floyd | sweet angelic voice say, "Order. Now. Rapido, Pendejo ..."
Floyd |
Floyd |  0: Say nothing.
Floyd |  1: "Numero Uno, por favor."
Floyd |  2: "I'll have the number two, please."
Floyd |  3: "Number Three, to go."
Floyd |  4: "Ten tacos for a dollar, please."
Floyd |  5: "This is a robbery."
Floyd |  6: "I don't have any money. Whatcha got for free?"

Floyd | What do you want to say to the Taco Flaco Drive-Thru Sign?
Floyd |
Floyd | "Ten tacos for a dollar, please," you say with a smirk.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Chu got a coupon for dat?" asks the voice.
Floyd |
Floyd |  0: Say nothing.
Floyd |  1: "I sure do."
Floyd |  2: "No."

Floyd | What do you want to say to the Taco Flaco Drive-Thru Sign?
Floyd |
Floyd | "I sure do," you respond. From the speaker you hear a long sigh,
Floyd | followed by the words "Pull around."
Floyd |
Floyd | Standing at the drive-thru window is Gloria, the hottest mamacita in
Floyd | all of Flaco land. Each time you see her you wish she were your age,
Floyd | but you would settle for "legal" (both in terms of age and
Floyd | citizenship).
Floyd |
Floyd | You place the pathetic coupon and fist full of sticky change into
Floyd | Gloria's soft hand. In return, Gloria hands you ten delicious tacos.
Floyd | Score!
Floyd |
Floyd | Intersection
Floyd | You are sitting inside your car at the end of the Taco Flaco
Floyd | drive-thru. All the other buildings you can see are vacant (it's not
Floyd | the best part of town). Other Taco Flaco drive-thru customers are
Floyd | behind you, honking their horns. It's time to use the GPS to get you
Floyd | out of this mess.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one point.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd |  0: Say nothing.
Floyd |  1: "Location: HOME"
Floyd |  2: "Location: TACO FLACO"
Floyd |  3: "Location: HANGAR 22."

Floyd | What do you want to say to the GPS?
Floyd |    "Home," you say to the GPS.
Floyd | Sir Guide-A-Lot maps out the quickest route to your home. You follow
Floyd | it, and arrive safely.
Floyd |
Floyd | Driveway (in the El Camino)
Floyd | Your driveway is where you park your car. It's as interesting as a
Floyd | giant flat slab of concrete can be. To the WEST is your front porch.
Floyd |
Floyd | You are inside your El Camino. Mounted to the dash with copious amounts
Floyd | of duct tape is your voice activated GPS. You can't find anything
Floyd | without it.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The El Camino is empty.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You unwrap the first taco slowly, savoring the smell of the meat and
Floyd | the sound of the crinkling paper. You take a bite -- and another, and
Floyd | another. With the first taco shoved completely in your mouth, you
Floyd | unwrap the second. Like a kid on Christmas, you open each taco faster
Floyd | than the previous one. Teeth gnashing, you rip through the pile of
Floyd | tacos like a buzzsaw. Each taco is like a box of Cracker Jacks with a
Floyd | surprise inside (a fingernail here, a cigarette butt there), but you
Floyd | don't let that stop you. Before you know it all ten tacos have been
Floyd | consumed, leaving only a pile of wrappers behind. You. Feel. GREAT!
Floyd |
Floyd | After eating, all that's left in your hands is a big pile of wrappers.
Floyd | Say, you should put THOSE in the TRASH!
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one point.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Driveway
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You get out of the El Camino.
Floyd |
Floyd | Driveway
Floyd | Your driveway is where you park your car. It's as interesting as a
Floyd | giant flat slab of concrete can be. To the WEST is your front porch.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see an El Camino here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Front Porch
Floyd | Like the inside of your house, the front porch is small and cozy. When
Floyd | you first moved in you bought a small chair and placed it on the porch
Floyd | with dreams of spending your evenings drinking beer and enjoying the
Floyd | scenery. You ran out of money for beer months ago, and the scenery
Floyd | consists of the dog across the street that continually barks and
Floyd | neighborhood kids that give you the finger everytime they see you.
Floyd | These days the porch serves as a place to put your chair and mount your
Floyd | mailbox. Your driveway is EAST from here; your house is back to the
Floyd | SOUTH.
Floyd |
Floyd | Your front door is closed, which prevents people outside from coming
Floyd | in, and vice versa (it's called physics).
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see a mailbox (which is closed) here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't, since the front door is in the way.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You open the lock with ease. I suppose if the computer thing falls
Floyd | through, you could always become a locksmith.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's unlocked at the moment.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't, since the front door is in the way.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You open the front door.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Living Room
Floyd | While your living room isn't much to look at, you call it home. Back
Floyd | when you were working 80 hours a week, you had no time to fix the place
Floyd | up. Now that you have all the time in the world, you have no money.
Floyd | Even in hard times, you retain your sense of irony. Your ratty couch
Floyd | sits along one wall, facing your cheap (and empty) entertainment
Floyd | center. The front door of your home is to the NORTH. Your dining room
Floyd | lies WEST, and your bedroom is to the SOUTH.
Floyd |
Floyd | The front door is open, potentially letting in heat, flies, and bill
Floyd | collectors.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see a couch, an entertainment center and a coffee table
Floyd | here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Dining Room
Floyd | The word "room" is a bit of a misnomer; it's more of a nook, and a
Floyd | sparse one at that. In the middle of the room on top of a rug sits a
Floyd | small table and two chairs. On the wall is a small tack where you hang
Floyd | your house key. Your kitchen is to the SOUTH, and the living room is to
Floyd | the EAST.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see a trash can (which is empty) and a table here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | What do you want to sit on top of?
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't go that way.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Living Room
Floyd | While your living room isn't much to look at, you call it home. Back
Floyd | when you were working 80 hours a week, you had no time to fix the place
Floyd | up. Now that you have all the time in the world, you have no money.
Floyd | Even in hard times, you retain your sense of irony. Your ratty couch
Floyd | sits along one wall, facing your cheap (and empty) entertainment
Floyd | center. The front door of your home is to the NORTH. Your dining room
Floyd | lies WEST, and your bedroom is to the SOUTH.
Floyd |
Floyd | The front door is open, potentially letting in heat, flies, and bill
Floyd | collectors.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see a couch, an entertainment center and a coffee table
Floyd | here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You close the front door.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | What do you want to lock the front door with?
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Locking the door will keep out intruders, but not the voices in your
Floyd | head.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Dining Room
Floyd | The word "room" is a bit of a misnomer; it's more of a nook, and a
Floyd | sparse one at that. In the middle of the room on top of a rug sits a
Floyd | small table and two chairs. On the wall is a small tack where you hang
Floyd | your house key. Your kitchen is to the SOUTH, and the living room is to
Floyd | the EAST.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see a trash can (which is empty) and a table here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You unwrap the first taco slowly, savoring the smell of the meat and
Floyd | the sound of the crinkling paper. You take a bite -- and another, and
Floyd | another. With the first taco shoved completely in your mouth, you
Floyd | unwrap the second. Like a kid on Christmas, you open each taco faster
Floyd | than the previous one. Teeth gnashing, you rip through the pile of
Floyd | tacos like a buzzsaw. Each taco is like a box of Cracker Jacks with a
Floyd | surprise inside (a fingernail here, a cigarette butt there), but you
Floyd | don't let that stop you. Before you know it all ten tacos have been
Floyd | consumed, leaving only a pile of wrappers behind. You. Feel. GREAT!
Floyd |
Floyd | After eating, all that's left in your hands is a big pile of wrappers.
Floyd | Say, you should put THOSE in the TRASH!
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one point.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | (the trash can)
Floyd | What a good boy scout you are!
Floyd |
Floyd | Yawn. It's about time to sleep, don't you think?
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one point.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Living Room
Floyd | While your living room isn't much to look at, you call it home. Back
Floyd | when you were working 80 hours a week, you had no time to fix the place
Floyd | up. Now that you have all the time in the world, you have no money.
Floyd | Even in hard times, you retain your sense of irony. Your ratty couch
Floyd | sits along one wall, facing your cheap (and empty) entertainment
Floyd | center. The front door of your home is to the NORTH. Your dining room
Floyd | lies WEST, and your bedroom is to the SOUTH.
Floyd |
Floyd | Your front door is closed, which prevents people outside from coming
Floyd | in, and vice versa (it's called physics).
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see a couch, an entertainment center and a coffee table
Floyd | here.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Bedroom
Floyd | This is where "the magic" happens ... if, by "magic", you mean crying
Floyd | yourself to sleep at night while listening to your stomach growl. To
Floyd | make ends meet a few months ago you pawned your bed frame, but kept the
Floyd | mattress. (You would have pawned the mattress too, but "apparently" it
Floyd | had one stain too many.) In the corner is your closet. Your small
Floyd | bathroom is to the EAST. Your living room is back NORTH.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see a mattress here.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Enter saved game to store: Ok.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You close your eyes and, with a smile on your face for the first time
Floyd | in weeks, you drift off to sleep.
Floyd |
Floyd | It's morning, you think. Confused, you look around and realize you must
Floyd | be at Hangar 22. While trying to remember how you got here, you hear a
Floyd | familiar voice.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Hi Honey," the voice says. You turn around to see Gloria from Taco
Floyd | Flaco standing behind you. Honey? What in the world is going on here?
Floyd |
Floyd | "I'm so glad you're home," she says. Home? As Gloria leans over to give
Floyd | you a kiss on the cheek, her moustache tickles your face. As you pull
Floyd | back you realize Gloria has become your mother -- well, her face has
Floyd | anyway. Recoiling, you see your mother now has the body of a
Floyd | chimpanzee. "Get back here!" you shout as your monkey mother begins
Floyd | climbing up some medical equipment. Just when you realize your mom is
Floyd | about to begin flinging poo at you, an alarm sounds! Wait, that sounds
Floyd | like ...
Floyd |
Floyd | ... your alarm clock. You sit straight up in bed, turning off your
Floyd | alarm with one hand and checking your chest for any signs of monkey poo
Floyd | with the other. Jesus Christ, just what kind of meat has Taco Flaco
Floyd | been serving lately?
Floyd |
Floyd | Compared to your dream, the rest of your morning is surprisingly
Floyd | normal. Although you haven't done it in months, you fumble through your
Floyd | old morning routine of cleaning, grooming and dressing yourself. You
Floyd | look great, and you feel great.
Floyd |
Floyd | Scooping up all the items you collected during yesterday's adventure
Floyd | (you never know what could come in handy on the first day of a new
Floyd | job!), you head outside. You feel like a new man. It's time to get to
Floyd | work!
Floyd |
Floyd | Front Porch
Floyd | Like the inside of your house, the front porch is small and cozy. When
Floyd | you first moved in you bought a small chair and placed it on the porch
Floyd | with dreams of spending your evenings drinking beer and enjoying the
Floyd | scenery. You ran out of money for beer months ago, and the scenery
Floyd | consists of the dog across the street that continually barks and
Floyd | neighborhood kids that give you the finger everytime they see you.
Floyd | These days the porch serves as a place to put your chair and mount your
Floyd | mailbox. Your driveway is EAST from here; your house is back to the
Floyd | SOUTH.
Floyd |
Floyd | Your front door is closed, which prevents people outside from coming
Floyd | in, and vice versa (it's called physics).
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see a mailbox (which is closed) here.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one point.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You are carrying:
Floyd |   a business card
Floyd |   a bag of Reese's Pieces
Floyd |   a candy bar
Floyd |   a coffee mug
Floyd |   a pen
Floyd |   a fish bowl
Floyd |   a burrito
Floyd |   a remote control
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You look roughly like an out of work computer programmer ... which,
Floyd | coincidentally, is exactly what you are. Your clothes are baggier than
Floyd | normal, thanks to your mandatory recent "low-food-intake" diet. Years
Floyd | of sitting behind computer keyboards have given you lean fingers and a
Floyd | pot belly, but when push comes to shove, you clean up nice.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You open the mailbox, revealing some bills.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Bills, bills, and more bills. Most days, you don't even read them; by
Floyd | not opening them, you're hoping to claim "plausible deniability".
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You find nothing of interest.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You close the mailbox.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The door is locked, and you seem to have lost your key! Go to work; you
Floyd | can figure this out later.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | Driveway
Floyd | Your driveway is where you park your car. It's as interesting as a
Floyd | giant flat slab of concrete can be. To the WEST is your front porch.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see an El Camino here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You get into the El Camino.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd |  0: Say nothing.
Floyd |  1: "Location: HOME"
Floyd |  2: "Location: TACO FLACO"
Floyd |  3: "Location: HANGAR 22."

Floyd | What do you want to say to the GPS?
Floyd |
Floyd | "LET'S GO, 'CUZ THE POSSE'S ON BROADWAY," says Sir Guide-A-Lot. You
Floyd | suspect Sir Guide-A-Lot secretly enjoys leading you around in circles,
Floyd | which would be funnier if the Brown Bomber didn't get such terrible gas
Floyd | mileage.
Floyd |
Floyd | You pull up to what you assume is Hangar 22. Funny, you've been on this
Floyd | street before but never noticed this building. Maybe you just weren't
Floyd | looking for it.
Floyd |
Floyd | Guard Shack
Floyd | You are sitting in your El Camino facing east, but a large metal
Floyd | cross-bar prevents you from continuing in that direction. Directly
Floyd | outside your driver side window is a guard shack. The shack sits on a
Floyd | small patch of grass which is mostly immaculate, save for a small pile
Floyd | of litter.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see a guard here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd |  0: Say nothing.
Floyd |  1: "Excuse me. Is this Hangar 22?"
Floyd |  2: "Screw you, Copper!"

Floyd | What do you want to say to the guard?
Floyd |
Floyd | "Excuse me. Is this Hangar 22?" you ask the guard.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Depends," the guard says, approaching you. "Do you have business
Floyd | here?"
Floyd |
Floyd |  0: Say nothing.
Floyd |  1: "I sure do. I work here now."
Floyd |  2: "Yes. I'm selling Girl Scout cookies."

Floyd | What do you want to say to the guard?
Floyd |
Floyd | "I sure do. I work here now," you say to the guard.
Floyd |
Floyd | The guard looks down at his clipboard.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Sorry," the guard says. Nobody notified me about any new hires today.
Floyd | I'll have to radio HQ and see what's going on. Make yourself
Floyd | comfortable, this could take hours."
Floyd |
Floyd | You hear an odd rumble from the El Camino's engine. Wait, that wasn't
Floyd | your engine. It was the guard's stomach.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You recognize the pile of trash as discarded Taco Flaco wrappers.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | "Mmm, Mmm, MMM!" says the guard as he sinks his teeth into the moldy
Floyd | burrito. "Is this the new minty burrito?" the guard asks, in reference
Floyd | to the burrito's greenish hue. It's true what they say: the way to a
Floyd | security guard's heart is his big fat stomach. "Listen man," the guard
Floyd | says with mold on his teeth, "this paperwork stuff can take forever, so
Floyd | I'm going to go ahead and buzz you in -- on your way home, stop by here
Floyd | and I'll have a permanent badge waiting for you. You can get a
Floyd | temporary badge from Mr. Mordant. First door on your left as you walk
Floyd | in."
Floyd |
Floyd | The guard presses a button and the giant bar blocking your path begins
Floyd | to lift. You pull forward and park in the first available spot.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Thanks again for the grub," says the guard as you pass by.
Floyd |
Floyd | Parking Lot
Floyd | You are standing in the parking lot of Hangar 22. Multiple cars,
Floyd | including yours, are parked here. Several security cameras sit high
Floyd | above the parking lot, pointed at your face. A tall, black fence runs
Floyd | along the NORTH and SOUTH ends of the parking lot. The guard shack lies
Floyd | behind you to the WEST. To your EAST is a giant hangar. The side of the
Floyd | hangar facing you has no windows and a single red door.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see some cameras, some cars and an El Camino here.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one point.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Some of the cameras are out in the open. Others are partially
Floyd | concealed. You suspect there are even more, well-hidden ones. All of
Floyd | the you can see are pointed directly at you.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The cars belong to other employees. You feel guilty peering into them
Floyd | with so many security cameras pointed at you.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | But you aren't in anything at the moment.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The door is off to the EAST. Painted on the door, faded but still
Floyd | readable, are the numbers "22". You're pretty sure that's the door the
Floyd | guard was referring to.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | That's not something you can open.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | As you approach the red door, you hear a buzzing sound. You open the
Floyd | door and enter Hangar 22.
Floyd |
Floyd | Hallway
Floyd | You are standing at the west end of a long hallway.  The walls,
Floyd | ceiling, and other doors are all various shades of gray. Immediately to
Floyd | your WEST is the red door you entered through. The door to your NORTH
Floyd | has a small plaque that reads "IN PROCESSING". The door to your SOUTH
Floyd | has a small plaque that reads "INTERROGATION". The hallway continues
Floyd | EAST from here. You can see more doors in that direction.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | Enter saved game to store: Ok.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | As you reach down toward the handle, the door flies open and you find
Floyd | yourself standing face to face with the same creepy guy that came to
Floyd | your house yesterday. Recognizing you, the man makes a facial
Floyd | expression resembling a smile.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Oh! Hello there," the man says. "Welcome to Hangar 22!" The man
Floyd | glances at your shirt and, realizing you aren't wearing an access
Floyd | badge, reaches into his pocket and pulls out a "New Employee" sticker.
Floyd | While mumbling something about the guards at the guard gate, he applies
Floyd | the sticker to your shirt and says, "That'll do for now."
Floyd |
Floyd | From the INTERROGATION ROOM, you can hear loud shouting. "If you'll
Floyd | excuse me I've ... had something come up," he says, his black eyes
Floyd | shifting to the door behind you. "I'll be back as soon as I can."
Floyd |
Floyd | With that, the man pushes past you and slips into the INTERROGATION
Floyd | ROOM, leaving the door to the IN PROCESSING ajar.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd |
Floyd | In Processing
Floyd | This is the "In Processing" room, a place where (you assume) new
Floyd | employees are processed. A military-grade metal desk sits on one side
Floyd | of the room. The desk is covered with papers and various odds and ends.
Floyd | Multiple maps adorn the walls. Directly behind the desk hangs a large
Floyd | portrait.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see a desk here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The desk is solid metal and weighs a ton. Scattered papers cover the
Floyd | top of the desk. The backside of the desk contains multiple drawers.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | It would take you months to read all of them. Quickly skimming through
Floyd | the piles, you notice most of them appear to be official government
Floyd | documents. The piece of paper on top contains an interesting
Floyd | handwritten note. "TO DO," the note reads. "01: Meet Glitzenbork for
Floyd | sushi after work. 02: Pick up dry cleaning. 03: Get new "recruits" to
Floyd | the organ-harvesting chamber, stat."
Floyd |
Floyd | Well well well, sounds like something fishy's going on around here. Or
Floyd | maybe that's just the sushi.
Floyd |
Floyd | >